i've never dated anyone who let herself go. they've all been very appearance-conscious....obsessed might be a better term.

now go to the next level...don't kill the spiders. i leave mine alive so they can eat the more annoying bugs. this "little" one almost got chopped up by my weedeater. after having it pose with a quarter i gave it a ride on my hand to a safer place.




i'd be the perfect husband. i can rebuild a car in my sleep plus i vacuum, do dishes and laundry....not that i really have a choice. of course i put those things off as long as possible.

eat bugs from the yard. yum.

she's that weird chick that did something on some show with british people or something and it resulted in something happening to her or someone else somewhere somehow...maybe.

frozen pizza
corn dogs
cereal
canned foods
beer
mac&cheese

they keep me alive.

that's the first lesson kids should learn...shut up!

1. i don't own a blackberry.
2. no, i would not ask. that's wussy.
3. low-rise jeans? do they even make those for men? not cool
4. i would never damage someone's vehicle. i'm pretty sure that's the 11th commandment.
5. my friend sent me an angry IM once. wuss.
6. baseball is boring
7. i don't snoop. rude and lame
8. see #6
9. it's 100+ degrees outside. one shirt is too many.
10. is that the thing that looks like a torture device?
11. i talk politics and religion with everyone just to start fights.
12. i don't give a rat's *** what anyone makes.
13. there's no such thing as an "extra" drink.
14. why? i'd rather fix it myself than pay some guy to show me his buttcrack
15. no leering...but rubbernecking is ok
16. "argue" is the wrong word, but i disagree with them all the time and almost never get tickets. tactful debate.
17. only the scalps of my enemies.
18. i love my two big caterpillars
19. driving with the top off, mowing the lawn, hanging out IN the pool, not by it...that's how i end up tan.

i let a great one get away. it was all my fault for not having control over life and death.



that's considerate. one came back and tried to wedge back into my life after 13 years.

nervous...nothing. being nervous seems illogical to me.

uncomfortable...if the chair is hard and my butt starts hurting. that's no fun.

another uncomfortable...if she's going on and on about dogs.

i don't sleep much. i'd like to but i can't.

no. i'd go bug my friends and family first. then mayb a homeless shelter or something. i'm not going to prison and risk people trying to put stuff in the out door. no way.

i like the one about the bear going over the mountain. he's some kind of crazy pirate bear. cereal killer is great too. son of toucan sam killing the other cereal characters. haha.

i almost forgot about another weird band name...nashville *****

maybe some people just look sideways when they're right-side up. now you've hurt sideways-headed betty's feelings. nice job.

fetus fajitas

vulvaline

the cumshots

rockbitch

green jelly (formerly green jello)

that bothered me about the dark knight. i wanted to see harley messing up gotham with the joker.

technically the delorean's body structure is fiberglass. the stainless steel panels are mostly for looks. in any case, stainless steel is really not a good name for the stuff. the alloy's high chromium content (11% or more i think) makes it more resistant than other ferrous metals but it will eventually rust or corrode.

if you bang up the stainless panels on a DMC12 it's a pain to get them right since slight imperfections are not hidden by paint or body filler. still a cool look if well-maintained though.

it's not easy but i've seen it done with different types of gm smallblock v8s. yes it makes the car much faster but handling suffers severely because the v8s are so heavy and screw up the weight distribution, particularly in the case of a gen1 sbc.

the "stage 2" engine from DMC is a nice option. it bumps the stock engine from 130hp to 200 and since DMC is the one that does it, the value of the car is not negatively affected. they also have quite a few bolt-on performance items.

unfortunately the flux capacitor was never available on the production version. too bad. someone could have gone back in time and told john delorean not to make drug deals.

i wish my water was free. the lawn can use as much water as possible in the summer.

similarities between women and cars:
-beautiful
-high-maintenance (well, not all cars are)
-they both involve lubes and fluids
-some contain more plastic than others
-sometimes they have a problem and you just can't figure out what it is.
-men want to be inside them (however, i do allow friends in my cars, but not my girlfriend )
-you don't want any other guy touching them
-they're more fun topless
-they can be expensive
-they love new shoes (tires)
-once a month you pay for the priviledge oh having one. that stops much sooner with cars and they don't need hormone replacement therapy at that point.

i'm not talking about suing. if some dumbass slams into me, damaging my vehicle, my body, wastes my time and energy, and leaves me in pain, they owe me. at the end of the situation i will not be out one penny and i will be compensated for the time i wasted because of their stupidity. and getting money for "pain and suffering" is not a bad thing. a reasonable amount, not a million bucks because your neck is sore.

i'd say see multiple doctors and even specialists if needed...and put it on the other person's insurance tab. it's only fair.