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Community > Posts By > GreenEyes48
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Topic:
Romance addicts...
Edited by
GreenEyes48
on
Wed 02/13/13 06:08 AM
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Well, I guess it depends on what one person means as romantic. I am sure those flower and candy types are out there. But as for me, a romantic gesture would be grabbing the dish towell and drying the dishes without having to be asked. Getting up off the couch, to move the couch while I sweep. Or, comming to the grocery store with me to pick out whats for supper. I do not know if that means that I want or need to be rescued from a dull life. I do know that I would love |
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Topic:
valentine day
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I just received a Beautiful card from a Online friend I have known for a while. We met on a Paid site previously.   |
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Topic:
Self Empowerment
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I try to "own" and learn from my mistakes in life...I don't want to let myself off the "hook.".. How did I contribute to the problems? What did I fail to see? How can I handle things differently if I face a similiar situation in the future?...To me this is all part of my "personal power." I don't want to wear "blinders" and keep repeating the very same mistakes over and over again for the rest of my life.
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Topic:
Romance addicts...
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I've known women and even some men who seem to be "romance addicts."...I think some of it has to do with wanting to be "rescued" from a dull life. (Like the story-lines and plots in fairy tales.)...What do you think?
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If you mean it, its never wrong. But if you dont, think of it as a suicide note. hi mikaxel, nice to meet you... now...... jeeeeezz, a suicide note? can you please expound on this a tad further... so my mind can wrap itself around your concept, at the very least...  yes, me too... as flattering as attention can be, too much to soon has the opposite effect especially if it's from a complete stranger, even if it's shown in all good intentions... now if it's from somebody I'm secretly crushing on while he acts like I don't even exist, if he suddenly turned on the charm that could be a song from a different chorus... you feel my beat???  |
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I think some people may be addicted to the thrill of meeting new people and "winning" someone "over." If this involves saying "I love you" they will say it (and say anything) to "catch" their "fish" of the week or month...Their interest may be sincere at first but the trouble is they have a short attention span. And get bored very easily...Before long they feel an urge to keep moving down the line to hunt for new "fish to catch." (And another chance to "score" with someone new.)...I guess people like this are called "players." They "play" at love and "play" with people's emotions. Sad!
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I brought my male neighbor a big steak a few days ago just to say "hi" and see how he's doing...He's a widower and the holidays were rough for him without his wife...He's been hibernating and staying inside most of the time lately and I wasn't sure if he even had food to eat in his house...Having company must have helped. I saw him outside yesterday and he said he walked down to the river and enjoyed being outside again..I've been alone since my husband and son died (too) and I know it's easy to get into the "hibernating mode."...I post on the forum at times just to feel part of the world! (And less alone.) Need the mental stimulation too!
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When men and women adhere to (strict) gender roles they may not have much in common with the opposite sex or shared interests...The focus will be dating or sex or falling in love etc. (Traditional male/female interaction and relations.)...Simply being friends doesn't make sense... But it's different for men and women who "branch-out" and develop interests and skills in traditional and non-traditional areas...It's easier for them to be friends with the opposite sex because the "sky's the limit" when it comes to their interests...People like this are more well-rounded. (In other words.) And they don't automatically relate to the opposite sex in (strictly) traditional ways.
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navygirl...I agree with you. Our society doesn't seem to be evolving at all..I may be one of the oldest people on this forum but I don't want to be stuck or chained to the past or outdated and old-fashioned ideas...I've had strictly male friends all throughout my "long life!" It's not abnormal or unusual to me either.
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I didn't tell my husband how to dress or how to style his hair etc...He was attractive to me because he was an individual in his own right. This made him unique and interesting to me...He never told me how to dress or how to wear my hair either...We didn't play Barbie and Ken and try to dress or "remake" or "remodel" each other. (As if we were each others' doll or personal toy or ?)...This kind of stuff seems narcissistic to me. As in: "I own you. You are my possession and personal property so you MUST do what I want and MUST be who I want you to be!"...YUK! I'd never want to be in this type of relationship!
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Topic:
valentine day
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Everyone has their own way of dealing with holidays, due to their own life experiences. Friends have told me some of my ways are wrong. OHH well, they are right for me. Valentines Day, is my son's ACTUAL marriage anniversary. Agreed. I use to be bitter about Valentine's day but it dawned on me that I was being silly and jealous of others. I was being petty at best. Commercialization has ruined every holiday and that is sad. I would like to think of Valentine's day as a day that a couple take that time to say; "Hey; life is hectic and I may not show it or say it all the time; but I truly do love you. Let's make this day completely about us and shut off the rest of the the world". Valentine's day doesn't have to be expensive as that surely depends on the person you are with. If they are greedy person; then yep it'll be expensive. Love should never be bought whether it's Valentine's day, Christmas, or their birthday but unfortunately our society is so brainwashed that they think spending money is the only way to show love. How sad we are as a race.  |
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Topic:
valentine day
Edited by
GreenEyes48
on
Tue 02/12/13 06:43 AM
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I might have lunch out with one of my male neighbors on Valentine's Day. (Not necessarily because it's Valentine's Day. Our local Indian casino has two-for-one buffets on Thursdays. And they have the best buffets in our entire area.)...My neighbor is a widower who has been depressed lately. He missed his wife over the holidays and hasn't recovered yet...I'm a widow and not ready to date yet..So we make a good "pair" and feel "safe" together...It might be good to get out together on Valentine's Day versus staying home by ourselves...It doesn't have to be a day for "sweethearts" or "lovers." It can just be a day for friendship... We're going "dutch." This way we're both on "equal footing" with no hidden "strings" or agendas or any obligation for "pay-backs."
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If you mean it, its never wrong. But if you dont, think of it as a suicide note. hi mikaxel, nice to meet you... now...... jeeeeezz, a suicide note? can you please expound on this a tad further... so my mind can wrap itself around your concept, at the very least... |
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I'm confused, how could telling someone they are loved be wrong? Just say it if you feel it? If it gets complicated after, it's not because of you or what you said... JMHO. |
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My focus is on making myself happy and being who I want to be...I'm in my sixties now and every now and then I run into "senior women" who wonder why I still have long hair...I keep my hair long because it makes me happy...I don't live my life to "please" men or other women...I had to wear a uniform and "conform" when I was a kid and went to Catholic schools. That was enough "conformity" for me!...I don't want to be a clone or carbon-copy of everyone else! My hair and my body and my mind belongs to me!.. I am not on earth to "please" others or "be" who someone else thinks (or expects) me to "be."
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Years ago Napoleon Hill wrote a book called: "Think and Grow Rich." He basically advised men to sublimate their sex drive and their addictions and attractions to other things in life that could lead them astray. (And take their focus off achieving their goals.)...He advised men to find a good woman and settle down so they wouldn't have wandering eyes and minds...This way they could devote themselves to fulfilling their potential and achieving great things in life. (Beyond their next "lay" and "sexual conquest" or their next drink at the local bar.)... Both my parents advised me to be this way when I was growing-up. They wanted me to develop goals of my very own beyond just being someone's wife and mother...I think our attitude about the opposite sex has a lot to do with our early upbringing and programming.
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Topic:
Self Empowerment
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I try to avoid getting stuck in self-pity...Over the past few years my husband and both of my grown "kids" (sons) passed away and I really don't have family left..I'm alone now. But I just can't afford to get bogged down in self-pity and walk around "playing victim" even though I know I still have some grieving left to do...I take pride in being a survivor and soldier or "pioneer-like woman" who has what it takes to keep "going-on" no matter what...I have some "off days" but I won't let myself "stay down" for long. I tell myself to "get up" and "get going" so I won't lay around and "drown" in sorrow and self-pity. If you don't mind I'm gonna give you a long distance hug. You may not want it but too late. glad your here |
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I can relate with that. It can be addictive to just retaliate. In a prior marriage retaliating was how we communicated. The hard part is even being friendly towards each other after a while. She said she didn't like the 'tit for tat'. Early on she said she was worried that she was changing me. She said she had trouble with letting go of control. It is understandable because she was a survivor. She had survived incredible odds. It made me look at 13th stepping in a whole new light. I have been sober and clean for 29 years but even though she had 25 years went back out again. When her sponsor was the go between I was asked if I was going to stay for the meeting. I said 'No'. I wasn't about to come between her relationship with her sponsor. If I had said'yes' I know she would have left the meeting. I always want the hand of A.A. to be there even if it isn't my hand.  |
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Topic:
How Old are You?
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I used to feel way younger than my age and limber etc..But now I'm "dragging" at times. Over the past couple of years I've lost my husband and both of my grown "kids" and 4 cats. (And you name it!)...I know it's taken a big toll on me..Hopefully I'll be able to feel "young at heart" and happy and carefree again at some point down the road! You will Greeneyes, God Bless You!!  |
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AthenaRose..I'm not a big "mushy" and "gushy" kind of person by nature..I tend to be more straight-forward...I enjoy giving people praise and compliments when I feel they deserve a pat on the back..I'm caring and nurturing and supportive...But I can only take "mushy stuff" in small doses...My husband knew how to "get to me" and sneak in a little romance once in awhile in cute ways...And I let down my guard and got a little "mushy/gushy" with him once in awhile too...We didn't play-out typical and standard gender roles...It was more fun to "feel free" to be who we wanted to be in each moment. (Versus acting like we were characters in a romance novel or "gushy" movie about love.)
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