Speaking from the point of view of someone who has little to no use for conventional morality (or anything that calls itself "morality" really, whether conventional or not)--I try to view every act in terms of its possible consequences, and not whether some unseen entity/society will find it "immoral" or not.

Even an intensely self-interested person (such as myself) can find good and rational reasons for not hitting on someone else's mate, regardless of "chemistry" (excuses, excuses!)

For example: Retaliation by the wronged person. You may not see it as "cheating" per se, but that's not going to matter once you're getting the crap beat out of you.

Another example would involve the inevitable aftermath of lust's satisfaction and the feelings of doubt and ambivalence that set in when one has committed an act that compromises one's personal standards as well as those of society (you would not have asked if you weren't at least somewhat concerned about same).

Wondering about possible consequences AFTER one has committed the antisocial act is very... well, it's dumb.

If you were a friend of mine and came to me with that question, I would say that obviously it's a terrible idea--for you, since you are having misgivings about it.

If something feels wrong, then it probably IS wrong.

I hope this was helpful. yours in Chaos, Scarlett

Both, imo. Respect. If she chooses to "hang on" as you say, and you genuinely care......then she needs you to respect that as it is a boundary. It is her choice. If you go and try to mow her over by pursuing her yourself, though she hasn't decided to "give up" on the other relationship......it will only cause problems (that neither of you may be consciously aware of, except I am telling you now) in any relationship that will follow between the two of you.

If the relationship is becoming a "sucken ship" and you care for her.....be around and be supportive. Be "innocent" in ur relations to her. You can let her know how you feel, but that you respect that fact that she is in a relationship..... Make your own boundaries...and respect yourself. Are you interested in being with a woman who in essence is two timing you?? I mean, if she is still with him, but wants to be with you too.......then she really isn't as into you as she claims. If she was she would not be with the both of you at the same time (unless she is into polygamy).

If you want her to respect you (necessary in any long term successful relationship) then you must be a person who is worthy of respect.

You'd be surprised how much of a turn on self restraint can be to a woman.....but anyhoo.

If you go for her, and she has decided to hang on, then you are disrespecting her boundaries. If she is leading you on while holding onto the relationship.....then she is confused (or simply in if for instant gratification as well, in such case you decide if this is the kind of person you want to be with) and needs time and space to find out what she wants.

IF you purue her you will pressure her to make a choice........rather than allow her to make a choice.

IMPORTANT: When I said, let her know how you feel, I don't mean "I'm in love with you.....bla blah blah." I mean, that you care about her, and that you respect any decision that she makes.

My morals went out the window....yesterday.

Sure why not, who cares about values anyway....just take what you can get & screw the rest....& when it happens to you, you can whine & complain about how your a nice guy that got screwed

I agree, why stay with someone you don't want?

SOME people's own morality is subjective.....the key is whether or not you want to be a hypocrite.

Sure you can do as you wish/feel.......but yanno what? Feelings change, and rather quickly. Would you be ok with it being done to you?? Then you shouldn't do it to someone else. If you do, then you should be fully prepared to SUFFER the consequences, and it will come back around.

P.S.
You can have chemistry with several different people......chemistry isn't the basis of a relationship but is merely a factor. If you go around basing whether or not you should be with someone, or if their current relationship should matter......based on IF you have chemistry with them.......then you will have one screwed up life.

But anyhoo, you will/they will do what you will. Don't look to others to justify the deed. Obviously you feel it is wrong to some extent or you wouldn't have asked the question.

NOTE, many people have said that if you truly care for another person you will do what is best for them.....not yourself. IF you are simply into immediate gratification.....then go for it, but that gratification will not last long, and you will not have a healthy relationship based on trust, loyalty, respect, and true love. It will be based off of lust, deciet, sex, and selfishness.........but if that is what u are looking for in a relationship, go for it.

P.S.
The other person may go along with you in the "heat" of the moment, as you say, but ultimately when things are said and done.........will they trust you/you them......if you started off when they were "commited" to someone else??? If they can allow you to separate them and their current "love" then what is to keep them with you, especially when they won't respect you.......because you simply do what feels good at the time, with little regard to what happens after?

if someone is in a relationship with another person but is still finding themselves interested in other people, then they are not happy and/or not seriously committed in which case they should not be in a relationship as it is not fair to the other person who may be committed to the relationship

I agree... but if the third person (who is not in the relationship) all of a sudden developes a chemistry with one of the people in the relationship, which wasn't pre-planned in any way... is it wrong to persue what seems to be natural?

does that mean you should do what others do or you should do what you want to do,just remember the consequences,could be good or bad

No if's and but's, a relationship/close friendship should mean just that ( no room for others) unless the two people involved in the so-called relationship have by amicable arrangement an "open" relationship.

I was saying that if it's your morals, then you are the only one to answer that question. If it's societies' that you wonder about...typically most people frown upon it.

Pretty much, all morals and values are subjective. Personally, I think going after someone else's significant other is a bit of a **** move, but someone else might see it as fair game.

Well here is the thing, if you know someone is in a committed relationship and they go after you, remember most of the time if they cheat they wont feel bad about cheating again.

Depends on if it is socially morally acceptable or your own morals that you are considering.