Thank you, you too.

Hi, I too live in Gainesville. I've been on here for about two weeks - recently divorced. I have gotten about 120 messages or so in my mailbox from "women looking to date", but in reality I have actually had only 20 or so real conversations with different women - the rest are of course fakers. Although none fakers have come right out and asked for money, but they are always asking me to got to a site called "hangout" - which I am suspicious of - so, I stop talking to those "girls" and put them in the faker category - why text there when you can text here - right? What's the big deal? Now, out of the actual women that I have talked to, most live just out of the comfortable driving range - Jacksonville or Tampa/Orlando area. I haven't had any meaningful conversations with anyone from Gainesville yet. Gainesville is a tough place - it's one big college town - filled with young people (away from home for the first time) wanting to have sex with other young people - I get it and it's cool, but for us older folks it's much harder to find people here. Most that I have run into (while i was married and now single) are already in some type of relationship. If your not in college, Gainesville seems to be a town where people settle down in. I have been going downtown to Rocky's dueling piano bar, where you would think there would be an older crowd - not really, again, mostly college kids. I know from experience there are "real" people on this dating site - wanting to date - just finding a few that you have common interests with is the difficult part. Good luck and maybe I'll see you around town, Richard

What you described is more of the kind the response I was looking for. You're okay with the woman letting you know if she is interested but then you prefer to take the reigns and set up the first dates... am I correct?

Based on what I'm learning from this thread and my "Initiating 101" thread, the women are the ones that initiate and men are the follow uppers, lol. And men seem to need a more clear and direct sign that we are interested rather than the subtle hints we often use.

I believe that's simply a matter of speaking the language that men understand instead of expecting them to understand our language?



You are correct, Men and women speak different languages. Usually women really have to get my attention in order for me to notice that they are interested (like asking me out) - ( of course I am speaking for myself - I cant say that other men aren't more sensitive to it, but the more I talk to other men - we are all kinda in the same boat- so to speak). The little glances and looks that women give men just aren't enough. I can NEVER figure out if they are just looking or actually trying to get my attention - it really has to be more than that. The little things that women do to get mens attention are generally not strong or pointed enough to get the proper response that women are looking for. When it comes to relationships, men are just not that intuitive, it just not our arena.

I saw same thing myself and I went to lady's profile - just to take a look. I said to myself, I wonder if she is in a relationship yet, but it looks like she comes on every few weeks.

This is a pretty good topic. Now granted I didn't read all the responses - so please don't burn me if I am repeating any - I have always been very bad at reading signals from women. I have missed many opportunities to date because of this. But putting out signals and chasing after someone are two different things. I like to / have to, be hit over the head for me to acknowledge that someone is interested, but after that, (if the feeling is mutual) I kinda like to be in control of that part. But the constant chasing a man or woman reeks of desperation and unflattering.

If what you are doing right now isn't working, time to make a change, right? <<<<<< Right on the money.

Thanks guys.

I just found out , you can change your settings all the way down to 50 miles, and the age bracket on your email. just go to the bottom of your email page and adjust it.

Just on the cusp of 40's - 49 here. Looking to meet new folks on mingle.

All have their places. If you meet a girl at the club and take her home that night, that's most likely be a short-term recreational relationship, whereas you meet a girl at church or somewhere out side of the "meat market", and build a strong friendship with her first, then it has the opportunity on becoming a long term relationship. BTW you should always be truthful to yourself and your partner what category the relationship is in - short term or long term. It will rid of a lot of confusion and hurt feelings if you are up front with them.

I'm sarcastic ;)

Hi Mike! Well, you just got your answer from 4 women - you couldn't have gotten a more honest response - but probably not in the direction you were looking for, but least you have something to work with. Take some time and re work your profile and pictures. Changing one's attitude and outlook on life is a very big challenge, so big in fact most people don't attempt to try, even when it's desperately needed and I speak from experience. In the late 90s I had to do a whole personality make over - it took years, but I'm sooo much better for it - I love life and people now. Don't forget, this is a dating/making new friends site, so you'll have to let down some/most of those walls you have been building up over the years and become somewhat vulnerable, (remember, your selling yourself to other people) that's the only way women will want to get to know you. Good luck to you Mike.

Hi Mike, I don't think you can filter your mail, but you are exactly right. I just got on here a few days ago and have realized most people just want your text # for what ever reason, but people here say you actually have to go to the community board to meet the real people (seem like it would be hard to get a date through it though) but I'll keep my options open. Just some stuff I I've learned so far... Good luck Mike.

Hi yall

Hi everyone, thanks for taking the time to welcome me.

I'm 49 and new to the dating scene. Just recently divorced and looking for women to meet in the local area or if someone just wants to talk that's good too.

It seems like most the profiles in this area are fake/scammers. I would really love to meet some REAL people in the area.

This is a silly topic... If people want to date outside their race or find a person not of their race attractive - so be it..... Whats all the virtue signaling for?? Why even bother to make it an issue???? I'm white and I have picked many, many non white ladies for matches. Why is this even a topic??? In the original post the guy (to me) seems like he is trying to guilt white people. Just let it be dude. People will do it or they wont.