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Topic: How do you Men feel about women...
Riverspirit1111's photo
Mon 11/26/18 06:32 PM
Chasing after you?

Women chasing men came up in another thread, the opinion was that when women chase men they run the other way.

Innately, men are the hunters and women are the nurturers. I've heard some men say they adhere to this and others say it's 2018, time for women to do the chasing.

So what are your true thoughts on this. If a woman were to pursue you, how would you really feel about that? Would you run the other way or would you feel flattered and take a risk going against what feels natural?


markc48's photo
Mon 11/26/18 06:44 PM
That depends on a number of things

Riverspirit1111's photo
Mon 11/26/18 06:46 PM
I imagine those things would be different for each person. What kind of things would it depend on for you mark?

Poetrywriter's photo
Mon 11/26/18 06:47 PM
After doing the chasing all my life I would definitely feel flattered and slow down and let her catch me. I am too old to be running away anyway.

Riverspirit1111's photo
Mon 11/26/18 06:52 PM
Edited by Riverspirit1111 on Mon 11/26/18 06:53 PM
Thanks Poetry for sharing.

I'm not sure how I feel about pursuing men. Might be more of a fear of rejection thing though than an innate thing. Although I grew up in the era that good women didn't do that sort of thing, lol

And how do you know when to back off a bit and let the man take the reigns... because he's gonna want to, right?




MK2's photo
Mon 11/26/18 06:54 PM
Flattered. Its 21st century beside its great feeling to be wanted & if its matual attraction.. It should be win. Win situation
I don't see anything wrong with that :blush:

Tom4Uhere's photo
Mon 11/26/18 07:00 PM
Sadly, I was required to do CMS (Compliance Management System) training when I was a manager.
I know, yer wondering what that has to do with it?

See part of CMS training was workplace sexual harassment policies both federal and company.

While doing research on the trends of society concerning the roles of men and women I learned a lot about how things are taken.

Like, in the workplace, you have one chance to hit on a woman. If she turns you down or ignores your advances, the next attemp can be considered harassment. I didn't know that.

Using this understanding of harassment laws, I adjust my methods to a single chance, then move on. Likewise, if I decline once, any subsequent approaches are considered harrassment.
Persistence, in the eyes of the law, is a no-no.
In real life I think it has more range but as a rule of thumb, I have chosen to try once and wait for permission. But, if she tries, I am game.

Personally, I would prefer to be asked rather than asking. That tells me right away that she is interested in me. It kinda clears away all the harassment issues that could crop up that could get me into trouble.
Plus, if a woman wants to be with me, I'd really like to know.

Now, before you say I'm too easy...I am, LOL, but that's besides the point. Why make things more difficult than they are?

Riverspirit1111's photo
Mon 11/26/18 07:03 PM
Have you had a woman pursue you MK? Or does the thought just appeal to you?

I'm wondering if those who say they'd like it would still feel the same way if it were to happen. Going against what is natural or innate in us might sound appealing, but once we act on it we might feel different?

I agree with you about it being great to feel wanted. I think that's the biggest reason I prefer a man to approach me first, that feeling you get when you discover he likes you. smile2

Poetrywriter's photo
Mon 11/26/18 07:05 PM

Thanks Poetry for sharing.

I'm not sure how I feel about pursuing men. Might be more of a fear of rejection thing though than an innate thing. Although I grew up in the era that good women didn't do that sort of thing, lol

And how do you know when to back off a bit and let the man take the reigns... because he's gonna want to, right?






Well if she is chasing me and I turn around and say to myself O BABY, slow down and don't ruin this by running away because she could be what I have been looking for. He's gonna want to take the reins? O no, there is no boss here. There is 50/50 sharing in everything.

markc48's photo
Mon 11/26/18 07:06 PM
Looks , Similar interest, among others

Toodygirl5's photo
Mon 11/26/18 07:06 PM
Edited by Toodygirl5 on Mon 11/26/18 07:08 PM

Flattered. Its 21st century beside its great feeling to be wanted & if its matual attraction.. It should be win. Win situation
I don't see anything wrong with that :blush:



Key word mutual!

Otherwise it's wasting the woman's time. :smile:

Riverspirit1111's photo
Mon 11/26/18 07:07 PM

Sadly, I was required to do CMS (Compliance Management System) training when I was a manager.
I know, yer wondering what that has to do with it?

See part of CMS training was workplace sexual harassment policies both federal and company.

While doing research on the trends of society concerning the roles of men and women I learned a lot about how things are taken.

Like, in the workplace, you have one chance to hit on a woman. If she turns you down or ignores your advances, the next attemp can be considered harassment. I didn't know that.

Using this understanding of harassment laws, I adjust my methods to a single chance, then move on. Likewise, if I decline once, any subsequent approaches are considered harrassment.
Persistence, in the eyes of the law, is a no-no.
In real life I think it has more range but as a rule of thumb, I have chosen to try once and wait for permission. But, if she tries, I am game.

Personally, I would prefer to be asked rather than asking. That tells me right away that she is interested in me. It kinda clears away all the harassment issues that could crop up that could get me into trouble.
Plus, if a woman wants to be with me, I'd really like to know.

Now, before you say I'm too easy...I am, LOL, but that's besides the point. Why make things more difficult than they are?


Thanks Tom, good points. Now a days it's almost scary/dangerous for men to "pursue" women.

Once she lets you know that she's interested, would you then want to take the reigns and do more of the initiating or have it more equal?

Riverspirit1111's photo
Mon 11/26/18 07:08 PM


Flattered. Its 21st century beside its great feeling to be wanted & if its matual attraction.. It should be win. Win situation
I don't see anything wrong with that :blush:



Key word mutual!

Otherwise it's wasting the woman's time. :smile:


Or the man's time!

I_love_bluegrass's photo
Mon 11/26/18 07:08 PM
Edited by I_love_bluegrass on Mon 11/26/18 07:09 PM
I don't "chase" anyone..
If they don't want me..fine..I'll move on.

But I see no problem with messagimng a guy first...heck, that's the only way I get any *real* messages...the only ones that message *me* first are either scammers, or losers who just want to tell me why they wouldn't date me and why they find me distasteful.

If a man's ego is so fragile that a woman messaging him bothers him (he thinks it's wrong) or offends him?
That's fine...I wouldn't want someone like that anyway.

I feel either one can show an intitial interest...
But, it's up to BOTH to keep it going..
If it ends up being just one doing all the "pursuing"...it's not going to work.



Riverspirit1111's photo
Mon 11/26/18 07:09 PM

Looks , Similar interest, among others


So if she were good looking, had similar interests and other things that appealed to you, you wouldn't mind if she pursued you?

Riverspirit1111's photo
Mon 11/26/18 07:12 PM


Thanks Poetry for sharing.

I'm not sure how I feel about pursuing men. Might be more of a fear of rejection thing though than an innate thing. Although I grew up in the era that good women didn't do that sort of thing, lol

And how do you know when to back off a bit and let the man take the reigns... because he's gonna want to, right?






Well if she is chasing me and I turn around and say to myself O BABY, slow down and don't ruin this by running away because she could be what I have been looking for. He's gonna want to take the reins? O no, there is no boss here. There is 50/50 sharing in everything.


Nice, I like that happy

I wasn't really referring to him being the boss when I said take the reigns. It's kind of like on the dance floor. The woman might lead him to the middle of the floor, but then let's him take the lead in dancing. Like that! smile2

markc48's photo
Mon 11/26/18 07:13 PM
Oh she wouldn't have to chase too hard.

Riverspirit1111's photo
Mon 11/26/18 07:15 PM



I feel either one can show an intitial interest...
But, it's up to BOTH to keep it going..
If it ends up being just one doing all the "pursuing"...it's not going to work.





I agree bluegrass, both want to feel wanted in a relationship, so it takes effort from both to keep things moving forward.

Riverspirit1111's photo
Mon 11/26/18 07:16 PM

Oh she wouldn't have to chase too hard.


Lol, so like Tom, you're easy? Lol, I'm kidding... that's good!

MK2's photo
Mon 11/26/18 07:18 PM

Have you had a woman pursue you MK? Or does the thought just appeal to you?

I'm wondering if those who say they'd like it would still feel the same way if it were to happen. Going against what is natural or innate in us might sound appealing, but once we act on it we might feel different?

I agree with you about it being great to feel wanted. I think that's the biggest reason I prefer a man to approach me first, that feeling you get when you discover he likes you. smile2

I enjoy my life in all aspects, fun, joy, pleasure... In respect
& as our great former president Bill Clinton said
Don't ask.. Don't tell laugh

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