How about what happens to me? Just today, in the supermarket a guy grabs my cart and wants to know my name. I only told my first name but not my last, when he asked. Why do people do that? I felt uncomfortable.

I have a quiet confidence when it comes to pursuing a man sharpens my crossbow arrows

The only women who chase me are law officers.

I love it to be honest.. doesnt happen as much as it did when i was younger

who cares who messages who first as long as the end result suits both

I wish they would.

I was a product of school changes. But I lived in an area where there wasn't a lot of kids. Most of the time, I had to be self entertaining. But I was a shy kid. By age 12, I really had no concept on making friends. Put into a school where everyone knew each other from day one, and you get a kid that is on the outside looking in. Going from there to a rural high school, with the same scenario, you get a kid that can hardly talk to anyone. He doesn't know how to.

Sprinkle in girls that expect boys to make the first move, you get one boy that has no clue how to even strike up a conversation with a girl. By age 18, you've set that in concrete.

Being self entertaining, it becomes easy to go against social trends. Music? Meah, just noise to me. Clothing? Just something to cover your bod. Sports? Motorcycling is a individual event. A team was just something I was shut out of. I know how to be in a big group and not say one word to anyone. I learned to do things that, by looking at it, you'd expect I'd need help. It floors people when I tell them I did it by myself.

Women think they can communicate with almost anyone. Not so. For a fact, I know that. It's been said that women like tall men. You couldn't prove that to me, and I'm 6" 3". Guess you expect that tall men are aggressive. I am, with everything EXCEPT women.

The few that I ever dated, they made the first move. I can honestly say, that there are VERY few that will. At age 62, I still don't know if women think of me as good looking, or the elephant man at the circus. Women lay claim to being nurturing, but I don't believe it.

I believe, that women are too much into themselves. They rarely ever allow anybody into their circle. I'm not one to force my way in. For them to ask, no, they won't.

Should they be aggressive? Yes. Will they? No.

No, not as king, per se. It's more idealistic than that. Making me out to be more perfect than I am. I am far far far from perfect, and I will cave under the pressure of such idolization.

Sounds like what's called "impostor syndrome". That doesn't necessarily just happen when someone puts you on a pedestal, YOU may feel that way however. It's a low self-esteem issue. Fearing when someone really likes you they will find out you aren't all that great after all. Low self-esteem.
If someone really puts you on a pedestal and you have healthy self-esteem it doesn't make you insecure, it repels you. I've been there. Very off-putting. Flattering at first but it wears thin real fast.

Good point Crystal, I've been in that position both when my esteem was low and again when it was healthier... I got a very different feeling. Fear of not measuring up came when my esteem was low and a more detached feeling came when my esteem was healthier... for a brief second it was flattering, but it was more of a turn off.

I think the difference between some men like being chased and others are put off by it is whether or not they are empowered. Now I think few are 100% empowered, by which I mean healthy self-esteem, self-love, self-confidence etc., but it's about being empowered enough. Maybe like 70% or more.

Men do have fragile egos and fear rejection, maybe even more so than women. If a man is empowered, he will not let that hold him back. When not all that empowered it will.
There's only 10% of men empowered enough to approach a woman without having gotten a sign from her that she's into him. 10%, not a whole lot.
Meaning that as good as every man needs a sign from a woman first in order for him to dare make a move. And it has to be clear the sign is for him and not a guy standing next to him or behind him. So woman needs to have the guts to give these signals, for instance eye-contact accompanied with a smile, but not fleeting, it has to be long enough for him to understand and know for sure you're addressing him. Briefly looking at someone is okay for most of us, but to hold eye-contact for some 10 seconds is uncomfortable because we all know subconsciously it means something. It says you're being seen, it's deliberate, someone wants something otherwise they wouldn't hold the eye-contact for that long. What they want can be good, but also bad (anger, negativity).
Then the woman has to do that a few times so he's certain she's interested. Some coaches call that "rejection protection": making sure the man knows he's not going to be rejected when he approaches you.

So there's always effort from both involved. It's not like "man chases, woman does nothing" like some make out to believe here.
In that sense if WE would have to chase MEN will have to give us the signals because we don't like rejection either. No one does.
Now I wonder, if men don't have the baws to approach a woman, would they have the baws to smile and hold eye-contact for 10 seconds, and do that several times? I doubt it very much. 10 secs seems like nothing, try it for fun! It's like 10 hours.

Yep, very off-putting. I even think it's part of the reason our marriage went down the drain. He had me on a pedestal so high even our children were beneath that. THAT was not acceptable, and goes so against the grain of my mother instinct that he went down a whole bunch of notches on my respect-O'Meter. Subconscious things btw.

That's cool lilwmn, I don't recall ever asking a guy out before he asked me, but I have initiated interest. It's been about 50/50 as to it getting reciprocated.

I remember as a teenager the subject of girls calling boys first came up with the neighborhood gang. Some were saying girls weren't supposed to call boys, it wasn't proper. Others said it was okay. One boy spoke up and said he thought it should be okay. I took that as meaning it was okay to call him, so I did

He said he liked me and wanted to ask me out but since I called him first he didn't want to go out with me... because girls aren't supposed to call boys, it's not ladylike.

I was 14 years old... My first rejection with initiating the first call It scarred me for life

No, not really. But the men I'm looking to meet now had that mindset 40 years ago. It was drilled into them in their childhood. Even the boy who thought it would be okay, changed his mind once it happened!

That made me wonder about how many men would do the same today?

I like to turn the question around a little bit:

Would you as a woman want to be with a man you had to chase?

My answer: Nope. Won't work for me. It feels unnatural, goes against every instinct. I couldn't feel respect for the man, and I need to be able to respect my man.
I think it ties in directly with primal instincts. How can you as a woman feel protected, safe, provided for, if a man didn't even have the baws and masculinity to chase you?

I think maybe it can work if the woman is more in her masculine energy. Then you won't match with a really masculine energy man as that repels as opposed to attract.
But if you're a feminine energy woman, could you be happy with a man whom you had to chase? Would it REALLy feel good to you to chase? Would that make you feel cherished, desired, feminine, safe and so on?

I would have rolled my trolley over his toes

Only my line manager chasing after me, asking me to do extra hours. Bleh

But a nice lady chasing after me for nice stuff? Never happened so far.

I have been pursued a few times by various women when I was younger, and I enjoyed it, even the unwanted ones.

But I think women can be too subtle in their ways, (men are not mind readers); and also give up on their quest too quickly, with no second tries.
I know rejection is painful and disheartening, but don't give up straight away.

Be direct and clear and obvious, and if unsuccessful, try again later (a few days to a few months later). By then the target has had a think about it.