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| Topic: How do you Men feel about women... | |
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Thanks Poetry for sharing. I'm not sure how I feel about pursuing men. Might be more of a fear of rejection thing though than an innate thing. Although I grew up in the era that good women didn't do that sort of thing, lol And how do you know when to back off a bit and let the man take the reigns... because he's gonna want to, right? Well if she is chasing me and I turn around and say to myself O BABY, slow down and don't ruin this by running away because she could be what I have been looking for. He's gonna want to take the reins? O no, there is no boss here. There is 50/50 sharing in everything. Nice, I like that  I wasn't really referring to him being the boss when I said take the reigns. It's kind of like on the dance floor. The woman might lead him to the middle of the floor, but then let's him take the lead in dancing. Like that!  In that case if she leads me to the middle of the dance floor we will be going around in circles since I seem to have 2 left feet. If the door is to our left we are gone. 
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Flattered. Its 21st century beside its great feeling to be wanted & if its matual attraction.. It should be win. Win situation I don't see anything wrong with that  Key word mutual! Otherwise it's wasting the woman's time.  Or the man's time! If She is chasing him, it's her Time wasted. !! Imo |
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In that case if she leads me to the middle of the dance floor we will be going around in circles since I seem to have 2 left feet. If the door is to our left we are gone. Okay, 50/50... especially on the dance floor!
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Hi....my thoughts are that both people need to show an interest. I also think it is important to approach someone with an opened heart and with an attitude of love......not need. I am reminded of a quote by Neale Donald Walsch about relationships......thanks for this opportunity to express my point of view.....Arnie
“The purpose of relationship is not to have another who might complete you, but to have another with whom you might share your completeness.” ― Neale Donald Walsch |
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Flattered. Its 21st century beside its great feeling to be wanted & if its matual attraction.. It should be win. Win situation I don't see anything wrong with that Key word mutual! Otherwise it's wasting the woman's time. Or the man's time! If She is chasing him, it's her Time wasted. !! Imo Good point, although I don't really see it being a waste of time for either person. And I'm sure most would speak up right away that if they aren't interested so it won't come to that. |
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Have you had a woman pursue you MK? Or does the thought just appeal to you? I'm wondering if those who say they'd like it would still feel the same way if it were to happen. Going against what is natural or innate in us might sound appealing, but once we act on it we might feel different? I agree with you about it being great to feel wanted. I think that's the biggest reason I prefer a man to approach me first, that feeling you get when you discover he likes you. I enjoy my life in all aspects, fun, joy, pleasure... In respect & as our great former president Bill Clinton said Don't ask.. Don't tell Come on !! Tell it !!
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Leery is how i feel about it.
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Edited by
Toodygirl5
on
Mon 11/26/18 07:39 PM
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Best way to find out the True about men is, ask a male friend.
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Sadly, I was required to do CMS (Compliance Management System) training when I was a manager. I know, yer wondering what that has to do with it? See part of CMS training was workplace sexual harassment policies both federal and company. While doing research on the trends of society concerning the roles of men and women I learned a lot about how things are taken. Like, in the workplace, you have one chance to hit on a woman. If she turns you down or ignores your advances, the next attemp can be considered harassment. I didn't know that. Using this understanding of harassment laws, I adjust my methods to a single chance, then move on. Likewise, if I decline once, any subsequent approaches are considered harrassment. Persistence, in the eyes of the law, is a no-no. In real life I think it has more range but as a rule of thumb, I have chosen to try once and wait for permission. But, if she tries, I am game. Personally, I would prefer to be asked rather than asking. That tells me right away that she is interested in me. It kinda clears away all the harassment issues that could crop up that could get me into trouble. Plus, if a woman wants to be with me, I'd really like to know. Now, before you say I'm too easy...I am, LOL, but that's besides the point. Why make things more difficult than they are? Thanks Tom, good points. Now a days it's almost scary/dangerous for men to "pursue" women. Once she lets you know that she's interested, would you then want to take the reigns and do more of the initiating or have it more equal? I like to think its more of an equal thing but since nearly every woman I have met since my X has claimed their love for me from the start, it hasn't really been equal. I always seem to be the reserved one. Standing back and letting them lead. Not sure why tho? With my X, when I first met her and all the girls I dated before her, I was the leading edge on nearly everything. And yeah, up till I met my X, I was failing miserably by presuming way too much. The X, however liked my take charge attitude, well, till it contrasted with hers 25 years later, lol. I do know that right now, when I'm dancing with the woman I am seeing, I lead but in the bedroom, she has control, not becauise I have some weird need to be dominated but because I want her to enjoy the experience as much as I do and I am easy to please. When it comes to practical life and living habits, I kinda lead mainly because its my home or my truck or my money. But, when she drives or she takes me out, she calls the shots and I'm okay with that. Granted, my health takes precedent over all of it now. I expand her horizons as much as she expands mine and I think that is pretty important at my age. |
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Hi....my thoughts are that both people need to show an interest. I also think it is important to approach someone with an opened heart and with an attitude of love......not need. I am reminded of a quote by Neale Donald Walsch about relationships......thanks for this opportunity to express my point of view.....Arnie “The purpose of relationship is not to have another who might complete you, but to have another with whom you might share your completeness.” ― Neale Donald Walsch Thanks Naturelover, I agree both need to show an interest. Great quote from Neale, I read "Conversation with God", lots of food for thought and words of wisdom! 
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Have you had a woman pursue you MK? Or does the thought just appeal to you? I'm wondering if those who say they'd like it would still feel the same way if it were to happen. Going against what is natural or innate in us might sound appealing, but once we act on it we might feel different? I agree with you about it being great to feel wanted. I think that's the biggest reason I prefer a man to approach me first, that feeling you get when you discover he likes you. I enjoy my life in all aspects, fun, joy, pleasure... In respect & as our great former president Bill Clinton said Don't ask.. Don't tell Well I wasn't asking for details MK   I take it then they have and you still feel the same, flattered and bring it on! Right?  |
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Leery is how i feel about it. Hmmm, why's that Rock? |
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You absolutely right & Toody too
God, you make me feel like a piece of meet Don't misunderstand me... I love it 
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Leery is how i feel about it. Hmmm, why's that Rock? A chick that interested in me? Gotta be psychotic or somethin' |
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Edited by
Toodygirl5
on
Mon 11/26/18 07:47 PM
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I don't "chase" anyone.. If they don't want me..fine..I'll move on. But I see no problem with messagimng a guy first... I agree. , Especially on this site ! |
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Sadly, I was required to do CMS (Compliance Management System) training when I was a manager. I know, yer wondering what that has to do with it? See part of CMS training was workplace sexual harassment policies both federal and company. While doing research on the trends of society concerning the roles of men and women I learned a lot about how things are taken. Like, in the workplace, you have one chance to hit on a woman. If she turns you down or ignores your advances, the next attemp can be considered harassment. I didn't know that. Using this understanding of harassment laws, I adjust my methods to a single chance, then move on. Likewise, if I decline once, any subsequent approaches are considered harrassment. Persistence, in the eyes of the law, is a no-no. In real life I think it has more range but as a rule of thumb, I have chosen to try once and wait for permission. But, if she tries, I am game. Personally, I would prefer to be asked rather than asking. That tells me right away that she is interested in me. It kinda clears away all the harassment issues that could crop up that could get me into trouble. Plus, if a woman wants to be with me, I'd really like to know. Now, before you say I'm too easy...I am, LOL, but that's besides the point. Why make things more difficult than they are? Thanks Tom, good points. Now a days it's almost scary/dangerous for men to "pursue" women. Once she lets you know that she's interested, would you then want to take the reigns and do more of the initiating or have it more equal? I like to think its more of an equal thing but since nearly every woman I have met since my X has claimed their love for me from the start, it hasn't really been equal. I always seem to be the reserved one. Standing back and letting them lead. Not sure why tho? With my X, when I first met her and all the girls I dated before her, I was the leading edge on nearly everything. And yeah, up till I met my X, I was failing miserably by presuming way too much. The X, however liked my take charge attitude, well, till it contrasted with hers 25 years later, lol. I do know that right now, when I'm dancing with the woman I am seeing, I lead but in the bedroom, she has control, not becauise I have some weird need to be dominated but because I want her to enjoy the experience as much as I do and I am easy to please. When it comes to practical life and living habits, I kinda lead mainly because its my home or my truck or my money. But, when she drives or she takes me out, she calls the shots and I'm okay with that. Granted, my health takes precedent over all of it now. I expand her horizons as much as she expands mine and I think that is pretty important at my age. Sounds like you're more into sharing the experience regardless of who takes the lead. You're openness most likely makes it more comfortable for woman to approach you and let you know they are interested. |
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You absolutely right & Toody too God, you make me feel like a piece of meet Don't misunderstand me... I love it You're a big Ham. !
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I think many of the generalizations about feminine and masculine traits are problematic.
Not all men are naturally bold and assertive pursuers. Not all women are naturally demure and happy to passively wait to be pursued. In either case, that doesn't mean there's something wrong with the person. When you develop interest in someone, if that someone isn't approaching you, regardless of yours or their gender, if you don't initiate contact you'll never find out if they're interested in you. Someones gotta be the initiator. Most men are just as susceptible to being hurt and discouraged by rejection as most women are. Yet the general concept has been that men should mostly bear that burden. Because they should be strong enough to face rejection confidently and move on to the next attempt unfazed. I'm for some semblance of shared risk and effort. I would welcome a woman's polite and friendly initiation of contact, and her active participation in advancing any relationship potential. |
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You absolutely right & Toody too God, you make me feel like a piece of meet Don't misunderstand me... I love it Well that wasn't my intention, so I apologize. I'm just trying to understand why some men are okay with it and some aren't. And if a man is okay with a woman pursuing them, is there a point where she should back off a bit. In other words when is the woman "too pushy" that would cause you to run the other way? |
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Leery is how i feel about it. Hmmm, why's that Rock? A chick that interested in me? Gotta be psychotic or somethin' Why, what's wrong with you? |
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