Community > Posts By > 456tessa

 
456tessa's photo
Wed 09/02/15 11:14 AM

I've had three people stuck in my "want to meet you" thing for over a month now. I've been "rating" about twenty people a day and it still says three people want to meet me?


I have now 3 people stuck in the Mutual Match box, too, and no matter how many profiles i rate, they don't disappear....
So, is this a bug or is it normal?

456tessa's photo
Wed 09/02/15 10:52 AM
This is actually a good question, I mean if everything is ok about the person except the smell, would that be a dealbreaker?
I'm almost sure it would be a put off to me, i can't help it. I am one of those who can be very attracted to a good/right (natural) smell or totally put off by bad/wrong smell (including too much of sweet parfumes or aftershaves...laugh )

456tessa's photo
Fri 08/28/15 01:55 PM

we all do and i currently have 11.
the problem is if you are using any filters on your search you are probably not seeing them to match with in the match list



Ok, thanks, eric. i'll check that, too...

456tessa's photo
Fri 08/28/15 01:30 PM

tessa there is one way to speed up and simplify the process.
upgrade to the paid version of the site and they will gladly tell you who those matches arebigsmile


I know that upgrading makes it possible to see who clicked "yes" on me, but i don't really want to see that, so i don't need upgrading...:tongue:
I just want to get rid of those 2 people in my Mutual Match box (who are waiting to meet me, as the message says...laugh ), and i can't no matter how many matches i grade.
Unless, i'm starting to think..., this is really some new and subtle system of Mingle2 to make people go crazy or .... upgrade....spock
If this is so, i would be grateful to be informed about that.

I would also want to know if anybody else has had a similar problem.

456tessa's photo
Fri 08/28/15 01:06 PM
If looking back, i think i was more than usually happy:
- in the first 4 years of primary school--because i simply and totaly enjoyed being there, socializing, learning, and because teachers were so amazed i was so good at everything...biggrin
- in the first three years of my first (and only) serious relationship--because it was like my dream come true and we were really compatible at that time
- in one of my previous temporary jobs when i was working in vocational rehabilitation for the disabled in a certain health institute--because it was, again, my then dream come true, and i liked the work, the collegues and being part of a really big institute.

In the present and generally, i forget about all pain and worry and i'm therefore happy as a child every time i'm totally absorbed in creating/crafting something...flowerforyou

456tessa's photo
Fri 08/28/15 12:24 PM
I'm not quite sure: are you looking for long-lasting or long-lusting relationship, or both...happy Wish you a good luck in any case.

456tessa's photo
Fri 08/28/15 12:11 PM
In fact, I have rated about 50 people altogether since getting these two matches notification. I will try a bit more, but it seems rather pointless to me, as this raiting goes on pretty slow and I don't want to spend so much time at it....

456tessa's photo
Fri 08/28/15 12:01 PM
Thanks for the reply, but my problem still hasn't been solved.
I'm sure these 2 matches are still the same. I have received the notification about them a few days ago(Monday or Tuesday), and I haven't received any new notifications on my mail ever since. Besides, I always check immediatelly after raiting if they disappeared. I have again rated about 20 matches right now and the Mutual Match box still says 2 matches are waiting to be rated????

456tessa's photo
Wed 08/26/15 09:56 AM
Since yesterday my Mutual Match box says i have 2 people waiting to meet me. I have rated about 30 people so far, yet there is still this message in my Mutual Match box. In the past the message disappeared after a had rated a few matches only. What's wrong?

456tessa's photo
Wed 08/26/15 09:33 AM




I only now saw this. Sorry, I'm late...flowerforyou
I see what you mean, but you have to admit that real-life situation is not quite the same as internet viruality. In the situation as you describe it in a pub, I,too, would probably notice you and if I saw that you are reasonably nice guy and you showed interest for me but I wouldn't be interested, I would surely say at least kind and polite "no". I would even say "thanks" and "sorry", i am that kind...whoa Actually, i have a tendency to be too kind (I might even suggest here that "we can have a friendly drink, anyway"), and i have had too many situations (in real life and internet communication) that a kind "no" was not taken seriously. There are guys out there that simply won't take "no" for an answer and will misunderstand any kindness or any answer as encouragement and won't simply leave you alone, belive me... but maybe I attract such men, don't know... That's why i have come to the conclusion that the best way to say "not interested" (in internet communication, at least) and to avoid any further misunderstanding and unnecesary explanations is simply not answering or stopping communication. It really works...
On the other hand, no answer can sometimes mean that the person is not able to make an immediate answer, is indecisive or shy and wants to take some time to think (I, too, beheave like that sometimes:angel: )-- have you thought of that?
And anyway, why would an actual "no, thanks" answer make so much difference from not getting an answer at all? Is it because it gives you a false hope? In this case I think you just have to realize that it's you giving yourself a false hope, not that person who hasn't answered ...:wink:


no miss tessa it is not some form of false hope. if any thing it would better be described as closure for the very reason you just hit on. you haven't been aroand to respond or is shyly going slow making a decision. both of which are ok even in real life.

but typically if you are the shy timid type you keep stopping by and viewing the profile looking for either what makes you nervous or reinforcing the positive gathering courage. one of the paid sites i was on a couple of years ago actually had 2 no thanks buttons built in. one was just no or not interested the other was i am exploring someone else right now. so they were simple canned messages. and i would rather recieve one of them than nothing at all


Well, i'm not so very shy timid person as you might think (though i'm also not too outgoing),but i'm really not here every day...;)
As for "closure" thing i do understand what you think, but i don't think that is always possible or necessary (in virtual or real life ;), specially when somebody gets too many interests to cope with, for example. This happens sometimes, i experienced it on some other dating site (i'm obviously not so popular here...:laughing:), but that site was a bit differently organized (with a lot of buttons, too) and there was a chronic lack of women, so almost every woman got 10 to 20 interests daily. A "no thanks" button or similar "canned messages" would be a possible solution (i miss that, here) -- probably more people would rather just push the button than write a "no" message -- but i think in the case of too many interests even that wouldn't work, people just wouldn't bother to push that button so many times...

456tessa's photo
Tue 08/25/15 02:09 PM
I'm not sure if chosing your "ideal man" on the basis of romantic movies is the wisest thing, but i really wish you good luck....

Maybe i shouldn't write here as i'm not Italian (but i am very close to Italy, anyway), but i can tell you my (little) experience with Italians: when I was in Florence, i met two of them, they were both very nice, kind and romantic (they actually look at your eyes when they talk to you, you know :wink: and they really make an effort to impress you...), but they were also kind of too adventurous for me, and too impatient to get what they really wanted...laugh I also met one on a dating site, and we exchanged a few long mails (and i was able to practice my Italian with himbigsmile ), but he, too, seemed to be a bit impatient and got involved with somebody else while communicating with me (and he had started communicating with me while still living with his ex and i didn't even know...noway )....Well, these are just my experiences so far, but despite a more realistic view on them i think i still have a bit of a soft point for Italians, don't really know why...laugh

456tessa's photo
Tue 08/25/15 11:07 AM
Edited by 456tessa on Tue 08/25/15 11:10 AM

ok tessa try it this way. we both frequent the same pub. i've seen you a time or two and even spent one night shooting pool at the next table so i heard enough of you talk to decide i was interested. so the next time we are both there i walk up and introduce my self and even mange to say something cute that fits with some of your overheard conversation. no you really aren't interested in me. do you stare through me like i don't even exist? or do you demonstrate some level of common courtesy and say thanks but no thanks?


I only now saw this. Sorry, I'm late...flowerforyou
I see what you mean, but you have to admit that real-life situation is not quite the same as internet viruality. In the situation as you describe it in a pub, I,too, would probably notice you and if I saw that you are reasonably nice guy and you showed interest for me but I wouldn't be interested, I would surely say at least kind and polite "no". I would even say "thanks" and "sorry", i am that kind...whoa Actually, i have a tendency to be too kind (I might even suggest here that "we can have a friendly drink, anyway"), and i have had too many situations (in real life and internet communication) that a kind "no" was not taken seriously. There are guys out there that simply won't take "no" for an answer and will misunderstand any kindness or any answer as encouragement and won't simply leave you alone, belive me... but maybe I attract such men, don't know... That's why i have come to the conclusion that the best way to say "not interested" (in internet communication, at least) and to avoid any further misunderstanding and unnecesary explanations is simply not answering or stopping communication. It really works...
On the other hand, no answer can sometimes mean that the person is not able to make an immediate answer, is indecisive or shy and wants to take some time to think (I, too, beheave like that sometimes:angel: )-- have you thought of that?
And anyway, why would an actual "no, thanks" answer make so much difference from not getting an answer at all? Is it because it gives you a false hope? In this case I think you just have to realize that it's you giving yourself a false hope, not that person who hasn't answered ...:wink:

456tessa's photo
Sat 08/22/15 10:33 AM
Edited by 456tessa on Sat 08/22/15 10:50 AM
Most men definitely don't read profiles. And not only that, most men, (with the exception of maybe 10%; and a lot of women, too, i guess) have nothing written on their profiles, except "Hi" or "Will tell you later"...slaphead I have often asked myself what the reason is for this, and i think it's probably either laziness, distrust, negative preconditioning (like "Even if i read/write, they won't answer" or "Most of what people write, is a lie" etc.-- we read some of them here...winking ) or they are simply scammers with their own agenda.

My opinion on that: What is written on the profile can give you some basic info about the person and can help you decide if you want more. No more, no less!
Writing a message to someone whose profile you have actually read is sensible (and honest) only if you really like what you read (even though that is, of course, just a very partial truth about the person), and you want to know more. But the aim shouldn't be getting back the message at all costs or counting the actual answers, but rather getting the right person, right?! If the person doesn't answer that means they are not interested (for one or the other reason), and thea are probably also not the right person for you, simple as that. Expecting that another person must answer just because you wrote them a message (even if you have read their profile, but especially if you haven't) is a bit absurd. The other person has freedom to answer or not, according to their standards. Some of us will only answer those who read our profiles, who have actually some information about themselves on the profile, who showed some interest and who we are also interested in after reading their profiles....surprised

456tessa's photo
Thu 08/20/15 01:13 PM
"True love" is probably like other true and precious things: it comes when we are ready for it :wink:

456tessa's photo
Wed 08/19/15 10:43 AM
A good question. I have to think about it...think

456tessa's photo
Sun 08/16/15 10:29 AM
Edited by 456tessa on Sun 08/16/15 10:47 AM
The quickest way to "make peace with death" is to experience it while you are still already here (usually non-voluntarely, i'm affraid), not necessarily physically but it may be in the form of the death of ego, a great loss (of something material, of health, of a relationship etc. or more of these things at the same time) or/and through a great suffering. When you go through "hell" and come out of it alive, you are not afraid almost of anything, not even the death...:wink: In fact, something funny may happen: when you totally accept the death (and even see it as something to rejoice about since you realize that it is nothing but the soul's homecoming) you actually get more Life, that is: the death of attachment to the physical and material world makes more room for the fullness of spiritual life...

456tessa's photo
Sun 08/16/15 09:42 AM
Edited by 456tessa on Sun 08/16/15 09:43 AM

Heheh glede na to, da naj bi bil to slovenski forum, zakaj ne bi pisali v slovenscini? Sicer ja, grozno zoprno je, da se sumniki spremenijo v hieroglifske znake, ki popacijo izgled nasega jezika.. but it's like we let English language to rule our worlds, even if that forum seems to be a place for us.


I'm back after being absent from here for some time....and i just have to answer this, don't I, as i have started this thread...;). Of course, it is possible to use our native languge here as it is more likely to be read by Slovenes, but on the other hand I think it is better to post in English as this is an international site and some non-Slovenes may want to read and also participate in it :wink: Besides, as you said, this site doesn't really makes it possible to write in proper Slovene for the lack of some letters....
Zato pa je na razpolago privatno dopisovanje, zaenkrat se zastonj na tej strani. Dobrodosli in uspesno "minglanje" zelim...

456tessa's photo
Sun 11/30/14 10:19 AM

To find a good relationship, first seek the vowels within you.

Such as ei, i, a, and a.




Yes, vowels are good, we need them -- they are like vitamins ....:laughing: smile2 :angel:

456tessa's photo
Mon 11/24/14 09:12 AM
What exactly do you want to say what . I wish i knew...
But, good luck to you, anyway.

456tessa's photo
Sun 11/23/14 01:25 PM
Edited by 456tessa on Sun 11/23/14 01:28 PM
Am really surprised that my question was replied...after 2 years!:laughing:

It's funny that i asked this question because at that time i didn't really know that all countries have their specific forums here. i thought only Slovenia has it, and that really seemed a bit strange...what

In all this time i have found out that there actually are a few Slovenians here, but no one is really participating on forums. Too shy, i guess... On the other hand, the whole Slovenian nation doesn't count more than 2 million people, so proportionally, it is probably ok that it is represented only by one person here---me....smokin
Well, let's wait what time brings....

@Spicy: if i make it into "two eyes", do you think that will help?