"Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life son".

Animal House, an American classic!

Excuse me if I'm wrong but isn't sexual activity in a relationship a good thing?

Team Jacob!

Obviously kidding before any rumors start!

I hate it when someone orders a pizza with the works when they know damn well I don't like my pizza dragged through the garden. Then have the audacity to tell me just pick them off! I'll tell you what, let my cat pooh on your food and try picking that off!

That's where the expression S**t rolls downhill comes from!

Lots of beautiful, nice, funny, wicked smahhhht women here. Best of luck!

I don't understand why these big babies can't poop in a toilet like the rest of us....geeesh!

Only here can you be around for 20 plus years and call yourself "new"

You're in the wrong section. The petting zoo is three doors down |
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Probably?????

I thought you were quintuplets!

Hi Ellis, you're off to a good start by joining in the forums. This is where you will meet people and have fun interacting with them. Good luck bud!

<------- Jack

I try real hard not to look that far into the future so I'm using the one, three and five minute plans. It's worked well so far for me. Uh, time to pee. Right on schedule.

We were going to make plans to go out but I got cold feet. Instead of calling her to talk about it I just didn't call. I felt so bad after her email that I made her I promise I'd never do that again. We went out the next weekend and were married a year later.

Divorced now but we remained very good friends.

You must not have been listening, they don't show up until after church.

I've never been stood up and have only stood up one woman on a promise I'd call and set up a first date. She sent me an email hoping she didn't do anything wrong. I felt so horrible that I married her.

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.

There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only Janie was left.

"Janie, do you have a story to share?"

'Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife."

"She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops. She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."

''Good Heavens,' said the horrified teacher. What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"

"Don't f**k with Mommy when she's been drinking."

I love these touching stories, don't you?

With you on that one! Watching that Saints offence though is like a machine when they get rolling! I'd love for my Pats to be in the "big game" but doubt they could beat either the Saints or Packers.

The way to the mind of a woman is through the heart of a woman and that my friends is why us men stare at boobies all the time. If we can just sit and stare long enough, we just might unlock the secrets and hidden treasures in there. So please ladies the next time you catch us guys staring at your mammalian protuberances, don't be upset. Instead give us a hug and thank us for taking the time in trying to figure out the wonderful complex puzzles you all are.

You're welcome

Born in Boston, Massachusetts
Lived in Prince Edward Island, Canada
and Halifax, Nova Scotia...Eh

Now back living and will probabrly expire here in the Commonwealth of
Massachusetts

Not a chance b. May I call you b.? I've been thoroughly entertained.

With the Kung Fu grip? That's how old I am, had one when I was a kid during the Crusades.