Community > Posts By > trackcoachred

 
trackcoachred's photo
Thu 03/01/18 05:48 AM
Not if it involves swimming! A marathon though? Ok yes if we are running a marathon. :grinning:

trackcoachred's photo
Thu 03/01/18 05:46 AM



Im looking for a holistic way to permanently relieve chronic dry eyes...


I do this by telling myself very sad stories that make me cry.. is that count as "holistic?" you are right.. that was funnier before I typed it out.


Coach! *gigglesnorting*


Actually giggle snorting should help too! Remember I am here to help :grinning:

trackcoachred's photo
Thu 03/01/18 05:43 AM






I assume most people like to have their ego's stroked. Especially if they believe the compliment is sincere. As we experience more of life this may become less important, but a steady dose of criticism and negativity will probably not draw someone closer to you..a steady dose of ego stroking will probably get the attention of an acquaintance, but a friend needs honest affirmation or loving correction.

Or if you prefer, ignore above and just go with "yes. I do love my biceps.." lol
Hello TC...waving affirmation or validation .. both are important in relationships ., it can be easy to hurt feelings with the words we choose ... there is definitely an art to knowing what to say to a man .. to show him sincerely
What he means to you .. to appreciate the man he is and what he brings to your life . Knowing how his ego works is one way to keep passion alive :-)

Well said young lady. Choice of words is a powerful tool for good or ill. I wonder if our ego or at least the most meaningful part of our ego has to do with our gifts and/or abilities. When someone hears me sing and compliments me, it doesn't stroke my ego, it secretly amuses me, because I know that I don't have musical abilities. If someone compliments me on my intellect, coaching strategy, or the way I mentor my student-athletes, I think it does stroke my ego because I am both gifted in those areas and I value them. As for my looks, there are certain things that I like to hear and others that are obviously insincere. I would rather be told at this stage of life that I am a good father or grandfather than that I look younger than I am or better than I do.. smiles..

"keep passion alive" - critically important.

you are right .. validation matters more when it is directed at something that holds value to the individual. When I started the thread ., I had more in mind the ego
within an established relationship .. You may not think your singing voice is great but a woman who is love with you may love that about you . ., love is blind after all biggrin


Blind and tone deaf? Lol. It no longer matters. I have grown children who love me dearly but threaten to change their names and leave the area if I sing publicly :grinning:

What strokes my ego most as I think about this is that she no longer feels the need to compliment me but rather shows it in her actions everyday. Someone else can brag on me and maybe that is nice, but she can look at me a certain way and I feel 10 feet tall. But not when I sing lol.
aww that is pretty cute .,so lovely to find someone that makes you feel that way :-)



Thank you (if we could keep that “cute” part between us though. It kinda puts a dent in my tough “manly” reputation!

trackcoachred's photo
Thu 03/01/18 05:39 AM
Right! How did you know? Oh wait. Nope. I’m red not pink. Anyway you are now wrong.

Let’s see
PinkBunny??

trackcoachred's photo
Thu 03/01/18 01:27 AM

Im looking for a holistic way to permanently relieve chronic dry eyes...


I do this by telling myself very sad stories that make me cry.. is that count as "holistic?" you are right.. that was funnier before I typed it out.

trackcoachred's photo
Wed 02/28/18 06:24 PM




I assume most people like to have their ego's stroked. Especially if they believe the compliment is sincere. As we experience more of life this may become less important, but a steady dose of criticism and negativity will probably not draw someone closer to you..a steady dose of ego stroking will probably get the attention of an acquaintance, but a friend needs honest affirmation or loving correction.

Or if you prefer, ignore above and just go with "yes. I do love my biceps.." lol
Hello TC...waving affirmation or validation .. both are important in relationships ., it can be easy to hurt feelings with the words we choose ... there is definitely an art to knowing what to say to a man .. to show him sincerely
What he means to you .. to appreciate the man he is and what he brings to your life . Knowing how his ego works is one way to keep passion alive :-)

Well said young lady. Choice of words is a powerful tool for good or ill. I wonder if our ego or at least the most meaningful part of our ego has to do with our gifts and/or abilities. When someone hears me sing and compliments me, it doesn't stroke my ego, it secretly amuses me, because I know that I don't have musical abilities. If someone compliments me on my intellect, coaching strategy, or the way I mentor my student-athletes, I think it does stroke my ego because I am both gifted in those areas and I value them. As for my looks, there are certain things that I like to hear and others that are obviously insincere. I would rather be told at this stage of life that I am a good father or grandfather than that I look younger than I am or better than I do.. smiles..

"keep passion alive" - critically important.

you are right .. validation matters more when it is directed at something that holds value to the individual. When I started the thread ., I had more in mind the ego
within an established relationship .. You may not think your singing voice is great but a woman who is love with you may love that about you . ., love is blind after all biggrin


Blind and tone deaf? Lol. It no longer matters. I have grown children who love me dearly but threaten to change their names and leave the area if I sing publicly :grinning:

What strokes my ego most as I think about this is that she no longer feels the need to compliment me but rather shows it in her actions everyday. Someone else can brag on me and maybe that is nice, but she can look at me a certain way and I feel 10 feet tall. But not when I sing lol.

trackcoachred's photo
Wed 02/28/18 03:43 PM
Content but tired after busy day

trackcoachred's photo
Wed 02/28/18 03:21 PM


Well this question is easy! I think the more challenging is during. Lol.

Just kidding but I do remember the challenges that children bring to logistics, timing and spontaneity.

In summary I vote yes.


So true! I remember falling asleep waiting for a storm to pass in the night. We didn’t dare start something for fear our son would run in and jump into bed with us. Haha!


Yes exactly. Built in birth control! Lol

trackcoachred's photo
Wed 02/28/18 09:45 AM
If money is not the issue, it seems like for some time and inconvenience you can have an option that may or may not be necessary in the future.

You can’t control SSD and the decisions they make, nor can you control the DMV, but you can choose to do your best to give yourself a future option. If you renew it successfully, the worst case scenario appears to be some wasted time and money but the satisfaction that you tried. Best case is that you have a plan b which reduces the power that SSD has over your future. Good luck with the entire process.

trackcoachred's photo
Wed 02/28/18 08:38 AM
Of course

trackcoachred's photo
Wed 02/28/18 06:02 AM
Well this question is easy! I think the more challenging is during. Lol.

Just kidding but I do remember the challenges that children bring to logistics, timing and spontaneity.

In summary I vote yes.

trackcoachred's photo
Tue 02/27/18 07:58 PM




balanced diet and running. Stretching and core strengthening exercises also help boost my energy.
I am a fan of running..yoga..pilates and weight training too . I live a very active life to help balance the stress of work waving


That is awesome and will pay dividends for you for many years.
so far so good .. I feel fantastic biggrin focusing on being the healthiest I can each day .... is definitely something I value .


awesome.. I teach wellness classes and stress that although exercise and good nutrition can help you look better and most want that, more importantly it makes you feel better, because by being fit you are able to produce and use energy more efficiently. All of life requires energy.

trackcoachred's photo
Tue 02/27/18 07:54 PM


I assume most people like to have their ego's stroked. Especially if they believe the compliment is sincere. As we experience more of life this may become less important, but a steady dose of criticism and negativity will probably not draw someone closer to you..a steady dose of ego stroking will probably get the attention of an acquaintance, but a friend needs honest affirmation or loving correction.

Or if you prefer, ignore above and just go with "yes. I do love my biceps.." lol
Hello TC...waving affirmation or validation .. both are important in relationships ., it can be easy to hurt feelings with the words we choose ... there is definitely an art to knowing what to say to a man .. to show him sincerely
What he means to you .. to appreciate the man he is and what he brings to your life . Knowing how his ego works is one way to keep passion alive :-)

Well said young lady. Choice of words is a powerful tool for good or ill. I wonder if our ego or at least the most meaningful part of our ego has to do with our gifts and/or abilities. When someone hears me sing and compliments me, it doesn't stroke my ego, it secretly amuses me, because I know that I don't have musical abilities. If someone compliments me on my intellect, coaching strategy, or the way I mentor my student-athletes, I think it does stroke my ego because I am both gifted in those areas and I value them. As for my looks, there are certain things that I like to hear and others that are obviously insincere. I would rather be told at this stage of life that I am a good father or grandfather than that I look younger than I am or better than I do.. smiles..

"keep passion alive" - critically important.

trackcoachred's photo
Tue 02/27/18 03:47 PM


balanced diet and running. Stretching and core strengthening exercises also help boost my energy.
I am a fan of running..yoga..pilates and weight training too . I live a very active life to help balance the stress of work waving


That is awesome and will pay dividends for you for many years.

trackcoachred's photo
Tue 02/27/18 05:56 AM
balanced diet and running. Stretching and core strengthening exercises also help boost my energy.

trackcoachred's photo
Tue 02/27/18 05:49 AM
I assume most people like to have their ego's stroked. Especially if they believe the compliment is sincere. As we experience more of life this may become less important, but a steady dose of criticism and negativity will probably not draw someone closer to you..a steady dose of ego stroking will probably get the attention of an acquaintance, but a friend needs honest affirmation or loving correction.

Or if you prefer, ignore above and just go with "yes. I do love my biceps.." lol

trackcoachred's photo
Tue 02/27/18 05:45 AM
Sure.. I will step into this one..

Happiness is a feeling based on your circumstances. Nobody is "happy" forever.. there are other equally important feelings in your life experience that need their space too.. even sadness and grief is essential to a well rounded life.

If you mean in a relationship, commitment requires that there are challenging times that do not make one "happy".. those can be opportunities for you to grow closer.

you may be able to find contentment and peace. Hopefully you find someone worth committing too and have the security that they share your commitment.

I suspect it's more rewarding to seek fulfillment rather than fun and peace rather than happinesss. Happiness is much better when the feeling occurs as a byproduct of a positive attitude and successful life. Of course, I am only a coach and certainly no expert on this. Just my thoughts or rambles if you prefer. :)

trackcoachred's photo
Tue 02/27/18 05:21 AM

i'm thinking about attending a very late meeting tonight


I hope it went well. I have too many meetings and am not a fan. A late one sounds even worse.. laughs. Hopefully you don't share my loathing for meetings. (BTW - I do enjoy the meetings that I am in charge of..:))

trackcoachred's photo
Mon 02/26/18 08:30 PM




Interesting question. My answer is probably less exciting than most. However if the goal is a lifetime then probably intellectual. Physical will change with passage of time and would make a poor foundation. Emotionally, differences are actually helpful if not necessary and spiritual requires an honest intellectual series of conversations to learn from each other and connect at a meaningful level. Having said that I suspect you could make an intelligent argument for any order. I would think though that boredom is the biggest thief of passion and easiest to keep at bay with an intellectually compatible partner.

If two people are intellectually connected but not emotionally sensitive to each other’s feelings I do think that no amount of knowledge can make the relationship last?


Yes that makes sense. I guess My initial thought is that two people who express themselves emotionally may struggle and two who are quite different may find it easier to support each other. But to your point emotionally connected doesn’t mean emotionally identical. I do think that someone who shares intellectual interests makes for better communication.
Even so, I agree that being of the same mind but lacking emotional empathy would be a problem.


Yes i do not think emotionally identical is possible unless people are conjoined twins or connected in some higher way. Sometimes when two people are intellectually matched they have a thing about outsmarting one another. There will never be a boring conversation but you must admit that conflicts are not too far away? To me a combination of hot and cold or a perfect mix of coffee and cream makes for a better and interesting situation. No boring moments too just complementing each other. I admire and enjoy talking to smart people specially when they emphatize with me that I cannot possibly know everything but don’t look down and think it’s a waste of time to chat with someone not as smart lol. Emotionally connected people have this kind of thing. An acceptance and sensitivity.


That makes sense. In my experience someone who is emotionally sensitive seems to thrive when their partner is less emotional. However there is still an acceptance and sensitivity as you suggest. Just not the way I was looking at it.
On the intellectual, to me, it's not a matter of who is "smarter". I believe that life experience is the best education, but when I first answered this I was thinking that if I have something in common intellectually, those conversations are much easier. I have coached college athletes for over 30 years and I love the conversations and I learn from it. However, my intellectual experience is not greater, but it's different. As are my frames of reference. Even if I am attracted physically, sensitive and accepting emotionally and on the same page spiritually, I wouldn't be optimistic about a lifetime partnership with them. It's not the age difference (or at least not just the age difference), it's the intellectual difference based on experience and frame of reference. When with someone who shares that intellectual level with me, I believe the choice to love them that needs to be made daily, would be easier to make.

trackcoachred's photo
Mon 02/26/18 08:22 PM




Can a girl expect to fall in love with a man (ps: not below 36) who will support her emotionally as well as financially and let her pursue her dreams.... or is it pure foolishness to expect something like this ?
I think it is selfish and old fashioned . Perhaps a long time ago that was how a relationship was viewed but in modern times ., many men and women have been scarred by divorce .. there is now a new mindset of what constitutes a relationship .. most work as a team .. contributing equally . Emotionally and financially . Perhaps it is the way you worded your question .. but it is all about you . What about his dreams .. how will you support him. ???? waving


Sorry to intrude. I agree in principle, but not sure that it is "old fashioned". Throughout most of history, I suspect that working as a team was not only in fashion, but in many cases necessary for survival. Their dreams became intertwined and they worked together to accomplish the goal. Obviously, it looked differently then it does today, but I think your point about teamwork has always been the model that works best.
your not intruding .. all input is welcome .. I was talking more about the expectation that a man financially supports his wife .. to me that is old fashioned .. many women earn their own money and contribute financially to a relationship . That is what I was referring to by team work :-)


I did understand and I agree with you completely. I'm just not sure that this is a modern method. I know that based on the last 150 years that was a model, but there have been many periods of time and cultures where women have contributed equally and arguably supported their families. lol.. I suspect I am over-thinking this. Even in my childhood, I witnessed my grandmothers as equal contributors, although it did look differently then it does today.