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| Topic: Does true love and financial support combine or foolishness | |
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Can a girl expect to fall in love with a man (ps: not below 36) who will support her emotionally as well as financially and let her pursue her dreams.... or is it pure foolishness to expect something like this ?
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Do away with expectations. It will help you avoid disappointments and hurt in the future. Keep to your standards and ask up front or be transparent with what you need and how you are . This I think will help too.
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its a free world
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Can a girl expect to fall in love with a man (ps: not below 36) who will support her emotionally as well as financially and let her pursue her dreams.... or is it pure foolishness to expect something like this ? I would think it would depend upon the man, but I don't think in the age of narcissism and 'do it yourself' that many people, men or women, are interested in having a partner that needs to be financially supported. I'm sure there are some rare gems who may feel otherwise though, if they are capable of actual love, have the financial position and believe in their partner enough. |
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Can a girl expect to fall in love with a man (ps: not below 36) who will support her emotionally as well as financially and let her pursue her dreams.... or is it pure foolishness to expect something like this ? I would think it would depend upon the man, but I don't think in the age of narcissism and 'do it yourself' that many people, men or women, are interested in having a partner that needs to be financially supported. I'm sure there are some rare gems who may feel otherwise though, if they are capable of actual love, have the financial position and believe in their partner enough. I'm siding with msharmony on this one. Essentially it all depends on the person with whom you are in a relationship with. The keyword here is 'support'. I would rather enter into a relationship where each of us could support ourselves than to be supported or support the other. The idea of support means to depend upon someone else for something. That dependency implies a power over the other. I would rather not be in a relationship where one person has power over the other. In either direction. |
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Can a girl expect to fall in love with a man (ps: not below 36) who will support her emotionally as well as financially and let her pursue her dreams.... or is it pure foolishness to expect something like this ? With the way the great majority of women are now, Why would a man want to take care of a woman? Especially financially? Many are doing it by themselves. You can too. In other words, Go get a job and then pursue your dreams. When you have finished whatever it is you wish to pursue, then start looking for a man. And when you start looking for one, look for one for the right reasons. Look for one that you can love, that loves you, unconditionally. Never go at it with the idea of, "I love you "if" you take care of me. Or "if" anything. You both should be, "I love you, PERIOD. Because shyt is gonna happen. That's just life. If the real love isn't there, you will never make it. So, forget about all that other stuff. Take care of yourself. Learn to support "you". And always remember, Never ask another to give you something that you can't give back. Or give yourself. In other words, Many women now will ask a man to support her in all kinds of ways. But many are not willing to give that same support back to him. |
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Can a girl expect to fall in love with a man (ps: not below 36) who will support her emotionally as well as financially and let her pursue her dreams.... or is it pure foolishness to expect something like this ? With the way the great majority of women are now, Why would a man want to take care of a woman? Especially financially? Many are doing it by themselves. You can too. In other words, Go get a job and then pursue your dreams. When you have finished whatever it is you wish to pursue, then start looking for a man. And when you start looking for one, look for one for the right reasons. Look for one that you can love, that loves you, unconditionally. Never go at it with the idea of, "I love you "if" you take care of me. Or "if" anything. You both should be, "I love you, PERIOD. Because shyt is gonna happen. That's just life. If the real love isn't there, you will never make it. So, forget about all that other stuff. Take care of yourself. Learn to support "you". And always remember, Never ask another to give you something that you can't give back. Or give yourself. In other words, Many women now will ask a man to support her in all kinds of ways. But many are not willing to give that same support back to him. For the most part ^^^ This |
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Why would anyone want to take care of anyone? Love. Real love, that is.
I could see myself doing it IF I had financial security already and I found someone who was well matched with me, and I knew the person was not lazy and was passionate about their dream, especially if they were struggling to work and pursue the dream simultaneously If I loved them, I could easily say, "Hey, dont worry about the money, devote your energies to your dream." |
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Why would anyone want to take care of anyone? Love. Real love, that is. I could see myself doing it IF I had financial security already and I found someone who was well matched with me, and I knew the person was not lazy and was passionate about their dream, especially if they were struggling to work and pursue the dream simultaneously If I loved them, I could easily say, "Hey, dont worry about the money, devote your energies to your dream." For many, that is a pipe dream. A pipe dream I would love to find in my reality sock. I raised a family on one income. I worked my body to death (literally) to support them. I lived like that for years thinking of nothing in return. That is, until I actually needed something in return. Then I learned that all the dedication and commitment means nothing if there is no dedication and commitment returned. Especially when you need it the most (like recovering from a brush with death). I supported her and she wanted for nothing. I needed her and she dropped the ball. I was gullible. Its my own fault. I was deluded by my own concept of fairness. I now know that I chose poorly. |
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Understood. Most don't have financial means. If I did, meaning if I was more than financially secure. I would 'take care' of someone I love IF they were putting effort into something they loved as well.
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yes
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It is possible provided the guy respects you. But trust me, finding that kind of a guy is very difficult and i am ready to accept it even though I am a guy. More often than not its not the guy who disrespects you but it is his family that sees you in a different light. But it is not foolish on your part to expect what you are expecting... But also it is not wrong if a guy expects the same as well Akka:)
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Understood. Most don't have financial means. If I did, meaning if I was more than financially secure. I would 'take care' of someone I love IF they were putting effort into something they loved as well. I understand that. Personally, if money were not an issue (an there are people in this world that live with money NOT being an issue) I would not make any demands or set any stipulations on someone I love. My main focus would be to enjoy life together in whatever way we agreed. But...In my reality, money is an issue and while I don't have a problem with her realizing her dreams, I can't pay for them and survive at the same time. As a matter of fact, I expect her to share the living expenses so we both have more money to do the things we want to do together. (If we are living together) My reality is that I pay my bills first. What is left over has to be budgeted so I don't run out of money before I get more. I can support activities in limitation. However, I know enough about budgeting that there is usually money to do as I please sporatically between pays. She will understand this and either supplement our activities or be graciously committed to activities that don't tax the bank accounts. |
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Can a girl expect to fall in love with a man (ps: not below 36) who will support her emotionally as well as financially and let her pursue her dreams.... or is it pure foolishness to expect something like this ? With the way the great majority of women are now, Why would a man want to take care of a woman? Especially financially? Many are doing it by themselves. You can too. In other words, Go get a job and then pursue your dreams. When you have finished whatever it is you wish to pursue, then start looking for a man. And when you start looking for one, look for one for the right reasons. Look for one that you can love, that loves you, unconditionally. Never go at it with the idea of, "I love you "if" you take care of me. Or "if" anything. You both should be, "I love you, PERIOD. Because shyt is gonna happen. That's just life. If the real love isn't there, you will never make it. So, forget about all that other stuff. Take care of yourself. Learn to support "you". And always remember, Never ask another to give you something that you can't give back. Or give yourself. In other words, Many women now will ask a man to support her in all kinds of ways. But many are not willing to give that same support back to him. i agree☺ |
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The way I explained it to one roommate/GF is that there is no free lunches in life. While she paid her half of the bills we were able to do the things we wanted to do.
It was when she stopped paying her fair share that things got messed up. I kicked her out because I am not a sugar daddy and will never be one. Sex was a mutally aggreeable activity. She enjoyed it as much as I did. It was not a reason to forgive bills. If I had, that would make her a w hore. It would also create a condition of superior/inferior responsibility that would undermine the concept I have of what love is. I held my ground on the responsibility and even tho at times I wish I hadn't, I know it was for the best. She has since told me she regrets her decisions. The damage has been done, the bridges burned. Lessons learned and all that. |
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Can a girl expect to fall in love with a man (ps: not below 36) who will support her emotionally as well as financially and let her pursue her dreams.... or is it pure foolishness to expect something like this ? It's possible when there is compatibility and chemistry not only those. Even if that someone have everything still love is a different thing... you can't choose the one that you will love and love someone not because of what he has but for who he is :) |
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Can a girl expect to fall in love with a man (ps: not below 36) who will support her emotionally as well as financially and let her pursue her dreams.... or is it pure foolishness to expect something like this ? That depends on what culture that the woman lives in. |
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Can a girl expect to fall in love with a man (ps: not below 36) who will support her emotionally as well as financially and let her pursue her dreams.... or is it pure foolishness to expect something like this ? Can I call this situation a Bucket Of Icecream? Or a mutual agreement base on what I want and what she wants I'm sure this situation could be a mutual benefit for both I have been there a few times, It's my karma, but I had enyoed it a lot Is not true that we deserve something for us? At this point of my life I'm sure love does not exist, it's a creation of our deepest desires. It's very possible I'm going to settle an agreement, She wants to finish her carrer and work at the same time, and I want to have a partner for as long as it last. In the time for starting to the end, I will enjoy her, and she's going to complete her tasks. Is not like living with some I think I love??, I will still paying the bills (Exactly like now and add to the budget her expenses, school, etc, etc) and I will get a benefit or been with someone (had the sex I want, when I want, the way I want) who doesn't love me but wants to keep me enfatuated until her goals are completed. There is chance 50/50% we could get emotionally involved (let's say in love) and cotinue living together ans set and other parameters for the years to come. I forgot to mention, I still want to have more kids, she's very young , healthy in reproductive age What else?, What dou you Thnki? Am I to practical or pragmatic? Am I to sinic? Am I to crazy? Am I to fool? Or I saw the life just the way It is? I'v been separated for almost two years, and that was not a pain o suffer at at all, It was easy to close that chapter of my life |
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Edited by
yana39roy
on
Sat 02/17/18 02:36 AM
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Can a girl expect to fall in love with a man (ps: not below 36) who will support her emotionally as well as financially and let her pursue her dreams.... or is it pure foolishness to expect something like this ? Can I call this situation a Bucket Of Icecream? Or a mutual agreement base on what I want and what she wants I'm sure this situation could be a mutual benefit for both I have been there a few times, It's my karma, but I had enyoed it a lot Is not true that we deserve something for us? At this point of my life I'm sure love does not exist, it's a creation of our deepest desires. It's very possible I'm going to settle an agreement, She wants to finish her carrer and work at the same time, and I want to have a partner for as long as it last. In the time for starting to the end, I will enjoy her, and she's going to complete her tasks. Is not like living with some I think I love??, I will still paying the bills (Exactly like now and add to the budget her expenses, school, etc, etc) and I will get a benefit or been with someone (had the sex I want, when I want, the way I want) who doesn't love me but wants to keep me enfatuated until her goals are completed. There is chance 50/50% we could get emotionally involved (let's say in love) and cotinue living together ans set and other parameters for the years to come. I forgot to mention, I still want to have more kids, she's very young , healthy in reproductive age What else?, What dou you Thnki? Am I to practical or pragmatic? Am I to sinic? Am I to crazy? Am I to fool? Or I saw the life just the way It is? I'v been separated for almost two years, and that was not a pain o suffer at at all, It was easy to close that chapter of my life Well.... Too thoughtful a message... But then I have hardly been in your shoes and nor have I gone through your share of life. For me personally I would prefer to fall in love with a man before even letting him buy me a petty gift. Thankfully according to the human anatomy I have two hands two eyes mouth tounge feet which are capable enough to earn a living. But to be very true I am personally the sort of person who wants a man to take care of his woman in all aspects. That's the sort of relationship I have grown up watching. I don't say the lady has to depend completely on the male , both have to strive to be something in this world. And what I know till now is that it doesn't come until you are deeply in love and it is reciprocated in the same frequency too. |
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Why would anyone want to take care of anyone? Love. Real love, that is. I could see myself doing it IF I had financial security already and I found someone who was well matched with me, and I knew the person was not lazy and was passionate about their dream, especially if they were struggling to work and pursue the dream simultaneously If I loved them, I could easily say, "Hey, dont worry about the money, devote your energies to your dream." I've been in a situation like that, me making more money, he being in financial shyt, so me paying for a lot. He didn't like it, he didn't want it, it was emasculating to him to have a woman pay. And this was a narcissist, you'd expect them to be okay with it, so go figure how deep this not wanting a woman to pay their way goes in a man. I didn't care about it, I made enough money at the time to be able to pay for things so we could have fun. But to be honest, it does feel better when it's mostly the other way round. As for the OP, find a job, then make your dreams come true. I don't think men are looking for a woman who wants to be kept. It'd be different if you had a reason for not being able to work. But these days men are quite demanding. |
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