Community > Posts By > Brian

 
Brian's photo
Fri 11/12/21 05:36 AM
I learned my coworker doesn't know how to talk to people when put under pressure.

Brian's photo
Tue 11/09/21 02:03 PM
I learned that my FL studio version needs an upgrade.

Brian's photo
Sun 11/07/21 06:27 PM
Edited by Brian on Sun 11/07/21 06:29 PM
I learned how to draw an exotic animal. I'm not very good at drawing animals, but this one turned out ok. This is actually a hybrid animal from another dimension.



Brian's photo
Sat 11/06/21 10:53 AM
Following up from Yesterday's post, I learned there was a lazier way of doing voice overs, but it is hella expensive...

Brian's photo
Fri 11/05/21 08:07 AM
I learned how to master an audio track using Adobe Audacity.

Brian's photo
Thu 11/04/21 06:17 PM
once my business makes enough revenue, I'm getting the hell out of USA and going to Africa.

Brian's photo
Thu 11/04/21 12:21 PM
Edited by Brian on Thu 11/04/21 12:21 PM
I learned about a D.U.N.S for my business. Who knows, maybe with that I can get at least one grant for funding. I also learned that sometimes you can combine business credit with personal credit.

Brian's photo
Thu 11/04/21 12:18 PM
Everyone has that right, but it takes time and effort.

Brian's photo
Wed 11/03/21 11:29 AM
I meant to post this on Monday, but one of my clients who always complains thanked me for "blessing him". I noticed when I came to the house that he was on the edge, so I did what I could to cheer him up a bit.

Brian's photo
Wed 11/03/21 10:11 AM

And how would such a promotion help you? Western countries are full up with people of colour so plenty of choice if we want to. No need to get more in, so it still wouldn't get you free entry into a Western country.
It is peculiar that it is almost always people from your country that come up with this stuff.

Well my dear, like I said everyone has their opinion, white, black, Asians and Indians can be found in any part of the world, not only in the western world, am sorry if you feel that this kind of Opinion is only prevalent in a particular part of the world, maybe you should have a reconsideration on that. I personally would want to marry a White lady because I have a deep passion for Interracial Offsprings..try not to judge my decision or love for something just because I come from a particular "country" like you said.. not everyone should be bad..thank you..



She's not judging, just trying to understand. I don't mean to eavesdrop in this conversation, but it seems like there is some dissonance between your goal and the person you are conversating with who is simply trying to get a better understanding of your intentions of wanting to date a white woman.

As you both established, there shouldn't be any reason for someone to be in a relationship with someone who is different then they are, so long as the other party reciprocates those feelings. That I'm sure everyone in this forum can agree upon, so there shouldn't be any back and fourth on that point. However, just like we all have a right to be with someone different, we also have a right to be picky with our tastes in a partner.

The question you are asking is something you should ask an individual, not random members of that particular stereotype or culture. Everyone's answer in that regard will be different and may not even be due to racial prejudice. Maybe the females hate the color brown. XDDD



All jokes aside, let's stop calling random strangers "dear", especially when they already stressed that it bothers them. Thanks in advance, new member here



Brian's photo
Wed 11/03/21 08:18 AM
This is my favorite topic to make in forums that I grow accustomed to.


There's a saying that we learn something new everyday. I am always curious as to what other people discover on a day to day basis. It doesn't have to be anything educational, it could be something informal, like a friend is getting married this week or something.


To start things off, just this morning I learned my client likes watching Barney. I confused the song he always hums with "This old man", but it was actually the Barney song "I love you." My supervisor told me I should pop on Barney for him before he left me to do my thing. Definitely doing that from now on since he seems pretty chill now, lmao.

Brian's photo
Wed 11/03/21 08:05 AM

Well, what do you expect me to do when they ask me what my dating history is like, lie? I'm not the type to deliberately tell a lie if someone asks me for an honest answer. I don't bring up my dating history (or lack of one) unless someone asks me how much experience I have.

I don't expect anything.

What gets me is the fact the subject comes up at all?
I've dated enough 'new' women and in my younger days, girls, and never once has dating experience ever been a subject for discussion.

Eventually, after we actually have a relationship, we talk about our romantic history a lil but never in an assessment, judgemental way.

Perhaps, and no I am not being prejudicial, it might be a cultural protection nuance? Perhaps the ones you talk with have been burned too many times in the past? If this is the actual reason, it means you must try that much harder to break the stereotype. Again, I'm not saying this is the case, just food for thought...

You seem like a nice person, worthy of knowing. You obviously have an education and can control yourself. Someone who has personal issues from the past may not be able to see the good you. Their sight is clouded with nightmares of others.

Your best course of action would be to cut the losses and move on to the next potential candidate. Using online dating sites are hit or miss most of the time. Sometimes even the possible positive results can turn out bad. I used multiple dating sites and screened hundreds of women, even dated a few, before my gf and I found each other here. Even that took almost two years.

There are a lot of no responses, a lot of near misses and some actual letdowns. Ya just gotta keep looking and trying if you really want to find someone. You also must search in the real world just as diligently.
Sometimes you need to adjust your preferences a lil.
Sometimes you gotta adjust your attitude a lil.
Sometimes you gotta look where you haven't considered looking.
Most of all, you gotta be patient and stay focused on the task at hand, despite those that try to tear you down.

Perhaps the response to queries about your dating experience should be met with a deferral. Just tell them "that's a discussion for another time, after you get to know me better". This way you are not lying and when you do talk about it and she already knows you as the man you are.

Try to remember:
If you make poor choices in life you get poor results from life.
If you make wise choices in life you get rich results from life.
Always - Choose Wisely


In agreement 100% this time. Thank you sir.

Brian's photo
Wed 11/03/21 07:45 AM
Edited by Brian on Wed 11/03/21 08:09 AM
As an update, I am talking to a woman from here who seems like someone I could date indefinitely. She knows I'm inexperienced, because she asked me at some point how many people I've dated in the past. Not only can she tolerate my inexperience, but she thinks its cool. I'm taking my time getting to know her and vice versa. So far, she seems like a good match for me. She lives in Africa which is perfect considering I am planning on moving there within 3-4 years once my startup company makes revenue. Otherwise, I'll just take over the family business and raise a family here in the U.S. It's a last resort, but at least I have options.

Thank you to everyone who replied and gave me extra insight on this issue that's been on my mind ever since I got my foot in the door with romance. Best of luck to everyone pursuing a relationship, I wish nothing but the best for you guys.


https://www.imagebam.com/view/ME4PQ5I

Brian's photo
Wed 11/03/21 04:06 AM


I have to ask, are you certain that's why the relationship didn't work out? Did she actually tell you that?


Not she they. It's happened to me 5 different times when I was trying to get to know someone. Sometimes, they'll outright say they are looking for someone with experience, other times they'll just ignore me after I answer how much experience I have at dating. The one date I had last year was a screw up on my part. I didn't reach back to her because I was hoping she'd be the one to follow up.

There was one other girl I met that was obsessed with money and investing. She obviously made more money than all my three jobs put together, but she had a hard time understanding certain English phrases. In the end, I had to break it off with her because there was an obvious language barrier, and all she ever wanted to talk about was investing. :angry:




Brian's photo
Wed 11/03/21 03:57 AM
Edited by Brian on Wed 11/03/21 03:59 AM

I tell them I have no experience with relationships
Seems to me you are shooting yourself in the foot.
Its actually YOU who is making an issue of your experience (according to your own statement). They are merely responding to what you tell them.


Well, what do you expect me to do when they ask me what my dating history is like, lie? I'm not the type to deliberately tell a lie if someone asks me for an honest answer. I don't bring up my dating history (or lack of one) unless someone asks me how much experience I have.




I rarely get a response back from the ones who I am truly attracted to. I don't go to them, they come to me
Seems to me you are falling into the online dating sinkhole.
You expect your match to come to you.


I know that last line I said may have been misleading, but I don't expect a match to come to me at all. I use this site properly by going through the search list and finding those that are close in my area and am attracted to. That's why I said in that first line, that the people I actually do want to get to know rarely ever respond back when I show interest by giving a basic greeting.


Thanks for your advice nonetheless. Much appreciated.

Brian's photo
Tue 11/02/21 08:52 AM

I think a partner's experience matters more when you're older and less when you're younger. For me, it factors into compatibility. I'm 50 years old. I think if I dated someone who has never been married/had no experience raising children, we wouldn't match up well. We'd be in two different places in our lives. Furthermore, we learn from our past relationships. We learn how to compromise with someone, we learn what we are willing to tolerate, we learn patience, we learn how to love someone in the way they need to be loved, rather than in the way we think they need to be loved. We make a skadillion mistakes with a partner and we grow from them. We gain wisdom from past relationships. I'd prefer that a partner had that similar wisdom. That's not to say that mismatched experience levels could never work, but for me, it would probably come into play.

Brian, you seem like a really cool guy. I think you would bring a lot to a relationship. There are a lot of ladies who are looking for what you have to offer. You'll find the right one. flowerforyou


Ok, that actually makes sense. But only because you already have children. However, even then, I'd assume that you and the person you dated at one point were first time parents. Knowing what you know now about parenting, would you trust your past self who knew nothing of parenthood to raise a child? If so, why not give someone with no experience an equal opportunity to build that experience? If not, then what method would it take to gain experience in such an important life changing regimen?

The reason I ask is because in my previous point made about this topic, I pointed out that parenting and dating are like day and night. You seem to be combining the two, which is a valid argument to an extent. The flaw is that the partner you chose to raise those children with was most likely a beginner and had to learn as he went along.


My first date was one year ago, she had kids already, but I let her know that it wasn't a deal breaker. The date went great and I even went out of my way to buy presents for her and the kids. We made plans to see each other again, but I guess my inexperience in the customs of dating turned against me here. I never called her back, I wanted to see if she would call back, but she never did. Before I could get a chance to call her back, it seemed like it would've been too awkward to do that, so I chose not to. I learned my lesson in that sense, but if I was never given a chance in the first place, I would've made the same mistake with my future date.

So yeah, guys, don't get it twisted when I say experience shouldn't be a factor. I do feel it is important to have when something goes wrong with one attempt at romance, but I feel it should never be a means to decide whether someone is worth your time or not.

Brian's photo
Tue 11/02/21 08:31 AM
Edited by Brian on Tue 11/02/21 08:33 AM

Your OP makes me think you are trying to date the wrong people or are 'dating' for the sole purpose of 'dating'.
There are people who do that...

If you are looking for someone to start a loving, meaningful relationship these things which you feel are a great concern won't be an issue, maybe not even in their head.

How you conduct yourself when you are with them and how you are with them is going to be much more important to building the relationship than a resume.
M2's Dating and Relationships forums constantly focuses on how to build a healthy relationship with someone. Very few threads even mention experience let alone focus on it.
Mostly its about how you make them feel when they are with you.
You don't need experience to be honest and sincere with someone.
You do need good moral fiber and emotional control.
Things which life teaches you normally.

In work, experience teaches you routine. You learn how to do things depending on the task at hand.

In relationships, everyone you meet is unique. You can't gain 'experience' to date a specific person. This is because what works with one may not work for all. You have to be adaptive and flexible.

I'm 60 years old.
I don't do 'dates' as most people classify them.
Mainly we go do something together. No pressure, naturally.
I act according to how I feel while also considering the fact the other is a unique individual who may or may not feel as I do. I adapt to the focus at hand.
I treat them with dignity and respect. I speak and act with honesty. I show interest when I am interested. If not, I respectfully bow out.
I act naturally according to my own nature. This allows their beauty to shine thru to my eyes. I try to see the person they really are without placing my expectations of who I want them to be in the way.

Seems to me, you are choosing the wrong people to date.
That is unless you want to date a shallow, self-centered person.


I agree with 90% of what you said. The 10% is a misunderstanding on your part. I rarely get a response back from the ones who I am truly attracted to. The ones that are attracted to me first and reach out to me are the ones that are getting on my nerves. They probably look at my profile pic and think I'm some kind of casanova or something. So when we get down to talking and getting to know each other, their discouraged because I'm a Noob at romance. It all starts out great, until I tell them I have no experience with relationships. I don't go to them, they come to me and get let down. I just wanted to clear that up for you. Thanks for your input.

Brian's photo
Mon 11/01/21 03:20 AM


Some do and some don't.

some ladies feel uncomfortable about it..I wonder why


It has also been noted in this forum that this seems a favorite topic of many men from Africa on this dating site...have yet to see the same questions regarding Asians or Indians or Eastern Europeans...why is that?...why this focus on white women?...

I have known women of different skin color (including African and American Black) and various ethnicities whose preference does not include Black men...I don't view a persons preference regarding who they choose to date as a negative if it does not include me...nor do I consider their preferences something they have to explain or justify..."some do and some don't" is an adequate summary



As a confession, I always admired the Asian culture and always wondered what it would be like to date a Japanese woman. Other than that, I don't really have a preference or look for any racial traits in a person I am interested in.

You pointed out something that is prevalent in western culture. We make such a big deal on race because race was made a big deal throughout our history. As far as dating goes, it wasn't that long ago when interracial dating could've gotten the man of color killed. On the flip side, the female of color would more likely than not get raped by the oppressor.

Somewhere in between now and that extreme, the idea of interracial dating was known as "Jungle Fever". It was more of curiosity of the other side than actual love (I really hate that movie btw).


We've come a long way since back then in regard to interracial relationships, but its threads like these that make me think that humanity has a long way to go before we truly feel we are all equal...


Brian's photo
Mon 11/01/21 03:02 AM
A man who takes initiative and control in any situation, especially relationships. The term stems from the wolf animal species. However, I really like wolves because not only is there an Alpha male in the pack, but also an Alpha female. Instead of it being a monarchy, the couple run the pack together. Very cool, very romantic.

Brian's photo
Sun 10/31/21 05:21 PM
My success isn't the same as your success. How much do you want to make in your venture? How many chains of your business will it take for you to be satisfied? Do you see success as something that will be the end all, be all, or is it ever progressing?

These are things I tend to take into consideration when I measure success in my startup business.

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