Community > Posts By > gardenforge

 
gardenforge's photo
Wed 10/24/07 09:50 PM
looks like the same old group is still feeding on each other's paranoia I don't think the tinfoil in your hats is working laugh

gardenforge's photo
Wed 10/24/07 09:43 PM
SSDD,

gardenforge's photo
Sun 10/21/07 07:38 PM
Ah I see it's the same old group feeding one each other's paranoia laugh Been away for a while did you all remember to chance the aluminum foil in your hats?

gardenforge's photo
Thu 10/18/07 09:32 PM
did you hear about the J.B. Hunt driver that got killed last night at the truck stop, he was down on his hands and knees looking of a lot lizzard and someone ran over him.

Do you know what they call the orange barricade barrels with 2 sandbags inside them. A double yoker Snyder Egg.

gardenforge's photo
Wed 10/17/07 09:29 PM
SSDD

gardenforge's photo
Wed 10/17/07 09:25 PM
my all time favorite bumper sticker said "why am I the only one on this planet that knows how to drive?"

gardenforge's photo
Wed 10/17/07 09:18 PM
My dear friends it is with much regret that I must inform you that an arsonist set fire to the Hillary Clinton Library last night. The fire destroyed both books, one that they had not even finished coloring.

gardenforge's photo
Mon 10/08/07 09:17 AM
A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he found a cat, but it was dead. “How do you know the cat was dead?” She asked him. “Because I pissed in its ear and it didn’t move.” Answered the child innocently. “You did WHAT!!” the teacher exclaimed in surprise. “You Know” explained the boy “leaned over and went ‘Pssssst!’ and it didn’t move.”

A little girl went to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair while her dad gets his hair cut eating a snack cake. The barber says to her “Sweetheart you’re going to get hair on your Twinkie.” She says “Yes I know, and I am gonna get boobs too.”

An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him “How do you expect to get into Heaven?” The boy thought it over and said, “Well I’ll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until ST. Peter says, For Heaven’s sake Dylan, come in or stay out!

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice “Mommy will you sleep with me tonight?” The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. “I can’t dear,” she said “I have to sleep in Daddy’s room.” A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice. “The big Sissy.”

It was that time during the Sunday morning service for the children’s sermon. All children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and as she sat down the pastor leaned over and said, “That is a very pretty dress, is it your Easter Dress?” The little girl replied directly into the pastor’s clip on microphone “Yes and my mom says it’s a b*tch to iron.”

A mother 6 months pregnant with her third child was preparing to take a shower when her 3 year old came into the room. She said “Mommy, you are getting fat!” and the mother replied “Yes honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy.” I know” replied the little girl “but what’s growing in your butt?”

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part where Chicken Little warns the farmer. She read “….and Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said “The Sky is Falling!” The teacher asked the class “ And what do you thin that the farmer said?” One little girl raised her hand and said, “I think he said “Holy Sh*t A talking chicken!” The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.



gardenforge's photo
Mon 10/08/07 08:50 AM
Jeff posted this same "poor me" whine on the current events forum a couple months ago. Some people think that when the graduate with a college degree they should immediately be tapped by some fortune 500 company for a position no lower than Executive Vice President or perhaps even CEO.

You have many more opportunities now than when I was young. You can sit on your butt and search for jobs all over the country and world from your computer. You have a word processor to prepare your resume and all sorts of internet sites to give you all the proper "buzz words" that mean nothing but tend to impress HR Directors who have been told in siminars they they should look for them. In short you have all you need but the motivation to get going. I told you months ago that the world does owe you a living but you are going to have to work your butt off to earn it. Now you are sitting here whinning that you have "lost your faith".

Jeff if you don't like your current station in life, quit feeling sorry for yourself, GOYA and change things. Take whatever job is available and work hard at it. Success is 10% inispiration and 90% perspiration.

gardenforge's photo
Sun 10/07/07 07:46 AM
one other little quirky note on the story. The president can write all the regulations he wants but until those regulataions are passed by congress and then signed into law by the president they might as well be written on toilet paper because that's all they are good for.

You would think that one who earns a living as a journalist would know that..

gardenforge's photo
Sat 10/06/07 10:35 PM
OK one more.

There is a railroad track close to the Bears' Stadium. During a game between the Bears and Packers a train went by and blew it's whistle. The Packers,thinking the game had ended, left the field and went to the locker room. 5 plays later the Bears scored. laugh

gardenforge's photo
Sat 10/06/07 10:15 PM
What do the Bears, the Blackhawks and the Bulls have in common






None of them can play footballlaugh

gardenforge's photo
Sat 10/06/07 08:30 PM
good idea bailey and make the incision just below the chin.

gardenforge's photo
Sat 10/06/07 06:17 PM
Knock Knock









Who's there?







Your friends...................




































From the U. S. Marsals' Service laugh laugh laugh

gardenforge's photo
Sat 10/06/07 07:59 AM
I can't believe they fell for that old Trojan Horse Trick laugh Actually it was handled much better than the previous administration handled Ruby Ridge and Waco. Well folks I can't linger here long, I have iron that must be heated and then bent and hammered into grotesque shapes for filty lucre so I can pay my taxes. laugh

gardenforge's photo
Fri 10/05/07 09:11 PM
adj4u well somebody voted for them and somebody keeps voting for them. What we need is term limits that way we could change the crooks more often. :smile:

gardenforge's photo
Fri 10/05/07 09:07 PM
The Phoenix Police Department was the ones who arrested her not "airport security"

gardenforge's photo
Fri 10/05/07 09:03 PM
yup random that's what you said. happy

gardenforge's photo
Fri 10/05/07 08:13 AM
gee what is all the uproar about. Last week Bush said if congress passed the bill he would veto it. Now everybody woke up and said "Oh my God he vetoed the bill" Congress had a chance to change the bill or to extend the existing legislation while a compromise could be worked out but instead they decided to make policital hay with this thing. Bush didn't lie, the man did what he said he would do if congress passed this bill.

gardenforge's photo
Fri 10/05/07 08:05 AM
Oh and Fascists are the far right, the liberal left are Socialists. So this bill is not facism at it's best, it is socialism at it's best.