and Michael Jackson's nose

Manbearpig

...to have eyes to see, while perfectly nice, wonderful people lose their eyesight at a young age?

I took my dogs for a walk later than usual tonight because we had a massive thunderstorm move through the area. It was still raining some and already dark when I left the house, so we walked into one of the side streets instead of walking one of our usual loops.

On my way back, this woman yanks open her door and hollers something against the wind...I was already way past her house, so I just kind of turned around and said "say again?"...and she yells even louder "This court is NOT a common area!!!".

So I said "That's nice...because I'm not a commoner, I live around the corner.". She goes "I SEE your DOGS sh** and pi** around here! I SEE what your DOGS do in OUR court!"

Nice choice of words for a "lady" that lives in a $350,000 house, huh? I just said "Well, this is the first time I've even walked my dogs in YOUR court. But for the record, THEY don't do anything I won't LET them do. And if I do LET them, I pick up after them"....and kept on walking.

Isn't it kind of sad that there are people that have nothing better to do on a Saturday night than to lick the windows from the inside and spy on their neighbors? And that are so bitter that they can't even have the tiniest bit of love for other people or God's creatures in their hearts?

Yes, I like dogs better than most people. But I'm going to say a prayer for that woman tonight, thanking God that she has eyes to see.

Mmmm...well helloooo there, Big John....

I do, I do!!!....oh...uhm...ahem...yeah...no, uhm...I kinda don't.

Because I have OCD and ADHD. I'm very impatient and need instant results. I simply do NOT have the time to wait around. *tap tap tap*

Right...and then I will have to send the box back and pay for shipping because I opened it. Plus the pygmy might not wanna go back to where he came from.

Honey, if I ordered a pygmy now, it would take about 5-8 business days for the box to get here.

Rats...I'm not there. I'm here. So now what?

Weeeeeeee

Where the heck am I supposed to find a pygmy or a midget at 8:30 on a friday night????

Oh...you travel with a measuring tape? And you're telling me that a Pygmy from New Guinea measures the same distance between his nipples as...oh, let's say a 6'4", 250 lbs Samoan?

That's the biggest pile of bogus I've ever heard. Where'd you get THAT vital piece of info???

Yes, I agree.

"Cloaca" is a fantastic word. I'm also a big fan of "douche" and "turd".

I don't watch those types of talk shows...but yeah, I'm pretty sure there are plenty of women out there who's children are kind of a sperm cocktail. Pretty sad.

True...getting advice here is not such a brilliant idea. lol

I avoid men at all cost. Don't like them one bit. They is not nice.

I say walk around some...I'm convinced it's your upper intestine.

Well you're either having a heart attack from eating all that deep fried crap all the time OR the pain is coming from your lower intestine.

So basically what I'm saying is that you should either call 911 (or whatever the number is you call in England to get medical help) or massage your side until you're able to pass gas.