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| Topic: Doing it right.... | |
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i will go out with you You are a cutie, too!  |
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i will go out with you You are a cutie, too! You started it... you must accept the consequences! 
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as I watch you two point the finger back and forth
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I have been invited to phone conversations in the past. It made me feel a tad uncomfortable at the time. I simply said that I would prefer online chat or IM for awhile and then maybe one day we could talk on the phone. I did have phone calls with one lady and we set up a meeting. She canceled and then said she was dating someone else. A crushing blow to me. So, like I said before, PROCEED WITH CAUTION!!!
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So, if the guy replies.... should I be my usual blunt self?
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So, if the guy replies.... should I be my usual blunt self? Could you really be comfortable as someone else? |
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So, if the guy replies.... should I be my usual blunt self? Better to be yourself now so he knows the real you. |
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always be yourself....who else would you want to be????
2 days notice is minimum....unless you just won some awesome concert tix ....or something like that |
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So, if the guy replies.... should I be my usual blunt self? |
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So, if the guy replies.... should I be my usual blunt self? |
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No, I could not be comfortable as someone else, but I can either say, dude grow up and get a clue, or I can say if you want to meet you need to set up an actual date in advance. There is something to be said for spontaneity...but I am traditional in many ways.
And not desperate. Of course, if I call him dude that is my kiss of death. I guess I will see what he says in his reply. If he was interested in casual all the way, then I think he was not serious about meeting. Or wanting it on his terms. I am not expecting anything from a meet, but there is laid back and then there is inconsiderate. He did not ask about my plans at all. |
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So, if the guy replies.... should I be my usual blunt self? |
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Edited by
lilith401
on
Sat 05/17/08 09:27 AM
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So, if the guy replies.... should I be my usual blunt self? I guess I worded that wrong. I can be blunt about it and a bit terse, or I can be blunt and still not a biotch. The tone decides if there will ever be a meet, I'd say. I just saw my reply was read...... we will see. |
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Sounds to me like you handled everything reasonably. I would be more concerned with his persistence of Monday -- that's not a good sign -- and the apparent single-mindedness he has displayed about the meeting, and his lack of consideration for what's happening in your own life, what you might have to deal with on any given day. Rushing things is generally not a great idea, in my experience.... First off, I think you did everything right.  Next.. I agree with Lex. A person that goes from pushy & insistent on Monday.. then leaves ot all up to *chance* and tries to make arrangements literally last minute.. hmmm... big red flag there. Just not a good sign that he can go from so intense to so inconsiderate. A sincere man would have made an effort to cement plans earlier. I know I don't need to tell you this, but gonna anyway  Don't settle! Even a cup of coffee is not worth the time
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Thank you for your kind words....
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Okay.... here is the scenario: I started chatting with a guy, a few years younger than myself. We were on messenger on Monday and he wanted to meet that night. He got a bit persistent, and I was tired, it was 8:00 and I said, no, I want to do it right. We agreed on Thursday, but that day I had to leave early for a dental appointment. I heard nothing about the date Tuesday or Wednesday, and so nothing was set up. I ended up getting a filling and so I wasn't online that night, as I was in pain. I logged in today to find an e-mail he sent late Thursday afternoon about getting together. It seemed as though he expected me to be sitting around my computer waiting for him to pop in and ask me out. I am of the opinion my saying 'I want to do it right' did not effectively come across as 'you need to make plans'. I did not want to seem rigid, but really. I think that even for meeting just for a coffee or drink you should be courteous and set it up at least the day before. Am I expecting too much? (Oh, and I offered up my number on Monday and he said he was not really a phone person) If you were really lifestyle compatible, we wouldn't be having this chat!! I love you honey but he doesn't operate like you. I'd let him know this and if he can't bend and it's an issue for you, grab the next number at the deli counter.
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Yes... well I just re-checked the profile and I do not at all care for how it comes across. It was updated, and it is now quite aloof and "I'm smart".
I think it should be well said that first impressions are the lasting ones. |
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Yes... well I just re-checked the profile and I do not at all care for how it comes across. It was updated, and it is now quite aloof and "I'm smart". I think it should be well said that first impressions are the lasting ones. Stay within the State Department when looking for dating suitors.
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Yes... well I just re-checked the profile and I do not at all care for how it comes across. It was updated, and it is now quite aloof and "I'm smart". I think it should be well said that first impressions are the lasting ones. Stay within the State Department when looking for dating suitors. If I had ever heard back from said person, I would. Nothing since the day we chatted. Sigh..... |
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Yes... well I just re-checked the profile and I do not at all care for how it comes across. It was updated, and it is now quite aloof and "I'm smart". I think it should be well said that first impressions are the lasting ones. Stay within the State Department when looking for dating suitors. If I had ever heard back from said person, I would. Nothing since the day we chatted. Sigh..... The Prez is whoring for increased oil output, maybe the dude's on security detail somewhere. |
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