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Topic: 3 "Major Mistakes" To Avoid On A Date
uchasemeifucan's photo
Sun 06/15/08 12:49 PM
Edited by uchasemeifucan on Sun 06/15/08 12:55 PM
Here are the three mistakes that I noticed
right off the bat:

1) Making out with her somewhere other than at
your house (or her house).

2) Apologizing for making out with her.

3) Asking her if you should call her, or if she
should call you.

I'll address each one in a minute in detail,
but first let me start off with some of my Quack
theories.

One of the things I say a lot is "Women Aren't
Attracted To Wussies".

I say this because:

1) It's true.

2) If you don't understand this principle, you're
likely to make mistakes that clearly "telegraph"
to a woman that you're a Wuss.

3) When it all comes down, if a woman doesn't feel
ATTRACTION for you, or you somehow manage to screw
up and KILL the ATTRACTION she's feeling... you're
done. Game over.

I think that most of us guys have these little
secret beliefs that we hide from the rest of the
world... and that we TRY to hide from women.

I was having an interesting discussion with a
good friend today, and we were talking about how
most guys act when they're around an "attractive"
woman.

Most guys do one of the following:

- Give attractive women a lot of compliments
immediately.

- Kiss up to attractive women.

- Try to get attractive women to like them by
buying them gifts, dinners and flowers.

- Chase after attractive women and let it be known
that the woman is "a prize worth pursuing" right
from the beginning.

- Hand over all of their power and status to
attractive women.

Know what I'm talking about?

Have you ever seen a guy at dinner with a
beautiful woman... and he's obviously nervous
about the whole situation... and you can tell that
he's doing everything he can to NOT screw up so he
can get the woman's approval?

Have you ever BEEN THAT GUY?

Yeah, me too. A lot.

Well, unfortunately, this kind of behavior
usually BACKFIRES BIG TIME.

All of the little things that most guys do to
get a woman's approval send a clear message to the
woman that:

"I'M A WUSSY. I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT YOU WOULD LIKE
ME FOR WHO I AM, SO I FEEL LIKE I NEED TO RESORT
TO EXTREME MEASURES TO GET YOU TO PAY ATTENTION TO
ME."

Now that I understand this particular aspect of
male/female interactions, I can see the horrible
results all around me.

At bars I watch guys walking up to women and
giving compliments... or offering to buy drinks...
and the women smiling politely thinking, "Oh,
another loser", and excusing themselves...

Quick Note: bars aren't bad places to meet women.
But you must know HOW to meet women in bars if you
want to succeed in this kind of environment. For
the best training on how to meet women in bars and
clubs, go here and look at THIS:


I see men at dinner with their dates...
DESPERATELY trying to get the women they're with
to show any sign of interest... but the women only
become colder and less interested... And I know
that the women are only getting ANNOYED at this
behavior...

I read personal ads in the paper and online
from men who are saying "Hey, pick me! I'm a great
guy! No, really!"... and I know that the women
reading these ads are saying to themselves "Yeah,
loser"... and the guys are getting little or no
response...

I think you get the picture.

The point I'm making is that when you do things
like asking her if she wants you to call her or if
she wants to call you... and apologizing for
making out with her, you are making the same basic
mistake.

Why would you apologize for making out with a
woman?

I mean, think about it.

You're not REALLY sorry... otherwise you would
not have done it in the first place. Duh.

You were actually LYING when you said you were
sorry. You were only sorry that she didn't want to
continue, man.

When you said, "I'm sorry", what she HEARD was
"Uh oh, I just screwed up. I'd better say
something quick to fix this. I will put aside my
own wants and desires, and say whatever you want
to hear in hopes that you'll like me and give me
attention and approval".

Really.

It's actually even WORSE than that.

The reality of this situation is that when you
apologized, you created a POWER SHIFT.

The power shifted from YOU to HER.

You felt it, and she felt it.

I guarantee that in the few seconds after you
said "I'm sorry", you felt a sinking feeling in
your stomach and knew something was wrong. But I
ALSO guarantee that she felt a little SURGE of
power AT THAT VERY MOMENT.

At the same moment you were realizing that you
just did something wrong, she was realizing that
she OWNED YOU.

Unfortunately, she probably also felt a little
bit of disappointment in you, because you were
apologizing for something just to get her
approval... and women don't WANT to own men.

Heavy man, heavy.

And the SAME thing happened in the moment that
you asked her if she wanted you to call her or if
she wanted to call you (but probably to a lesser
degree).

That's one of those little moments where you
basically said "Here, take the power. Tell me what
you want me to do, and I'll do it. You get to make
the decisions. Please tell me that you want me to
call you, because that will affirm that you like
me".

Keep this up, and you'll probably wind up a
boyfriend who she eventually cheats on... or, even
worse, a boyfriend who she eventually marries and
then divorces because you turned into a boring
Wussy husband from hell.

So, my general advice to you is:

STOP IT!

Stop doing things that let her know that she
OWNS you.

One of the best things you can do is learn to
PAUSE before you respond to ANYTHING that makes
you feel an "Emotional Wussy Rush".

If she says something that indicates that she's
not happy with you or your behavior, PAUSE.

Don't respond. Stay still. Keep the mouth shut
and the brain operating.

If you have to, run everything through your
mental "Wussy Analyzer".

Decide if the response you're going to give her
is to get her approval, and if it is, STOP.

Don't do things that hand over the power in the
relationship. Don't let the things a woman says
shake you emotionally.

Finally, I want to address your mistake of
making out with her somewhere other than in your
house or her house.

I'm sure the reason is obvious, right?

One of the best things I've learned is that if
you LEAN BACK when you're out on a date with a
girl, and don't try to "make your move" early on,
you'll do MUCH better later.

Most guys totally screw this part up.

They go to all the trouble to approach a woman,
get her number, call her, get a date, go on the
date, pay for the date, spend all that time... and
then have NO IDEA what to do next.

The reality is that if you just KNOW WHAT TO
DO, and you've prepared in advance, you can easily
take things to the next level... and give her an
experience that will make her DEFINITELY call you
back for another date.


PATSFAN's photo
Sun 06/15/08 12:51 PM
Seems like more than 3huh

FearandLoathing's photo
Sun 06/15/08 12:52 PM
All of this coming from a guy, for millenia men are yet too understand women...what makes you think you know the "secret"?

YourLove1's photo
Sun 06/15/08 12:53 PM
#4. forgetting to show her your weiner on the first date laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh

poohbearface19's photo
Sun 06/15/08 12:53 PM
i hate wusssssies

PATSFAN's photo
Sun 06/15/08 12:54 PM

#4. forgetting to show her your weiner on the first date laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh










Thats rite when in doubt, whip it out!!!

jonny63's photo
Sun 06/15/08 12:56 PM
I'm gonna leave you alone on this one so I don't get any insulting emails.

)))))))))))Dr Phil(((((((((((

YourLove1's photo
Sun 06/15/08 12:56 PM


#4. forgetting to show her your weiner on the first date laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh










Thats rite when in doubt, whip it out!!!
laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh drinker drinker drinker drinker

Benzy940's photo
Sun 06/15/08 01:00 PM





(DRUM ROLLLLLL) And # 25 ..........Being too long winded and wordy.....

TA-DAAAAAAAAAAAAA...............grumble grumble grumble

duckiegiggles's photo
Sun 06/15/08 01:00 PM
hey some of us like to make out in public:angry:

jonny63's photo
Sun 06/15/08 01:01 PM

i hate wusssssies
This is the first time I embrace your spelling mistakes

(((((((((((((((Poohbearface19)))))))))))))))

poohbearface19's photo
Sun 06/15/08 01:05 PM


i hate wusssssies
This is the first time I embrace your spelling mistakes

(((((((((((((((Poohbearface19)))))))))))))))

i know and i have mistakes becasue havent u hears whats dyslexia means

No1sLove's photo
Sun 06/15/08 01:07 PM
I throw away the rule book on the first date. I like what's natural...even if I have to ask him to back off at first. What's wrong with knowing his mind? huh

IndnPrncs's photo
Sun 06/15/08 01:10 PM
Wow someone puts too much stock in Dr. Phil... huh

Phxlilly's photo
Sun 06/15/08 01:14 PM
Actually I think he's pretty much right on the money. But I also think some of the rules go both ways. Women: quit being so agreeable because you want a certain guy to go out with you. If he's a huge sports nut and you cant stand sports you'll eventually end up resenting him sitting on the couch all day watching sports (or worse going to the bars to watch it with his buddies and other women), then he's not the one for you. This guy has a good basic understanding of what women are all about. Now if he understands them after the basics..... THATS the main question. laugh

IndnPrncs's photo
Sun 06/15/08 01:16 PM

Actually I think he's pretty much right on the money. But I also think some of the rules go both ways. Women: quit being so agreeable because you want a certain guy to go out with you. If he's a huge sports nut and you cant stand sports you'll eventually end up resenting him sitting on the couch all day watching sports (or worse going to the bars to watch it with his buddies and other women), then he's not the one for you. This guy has a good basic understanding of what women are all about. Now if he understands them after the basics..... THATS the main question. laugh


The only thing that is on mark is the wussy comment, trying TOO hard and the apologizing is lying... other than that it's a whole lot of repetitive rambling that isn't going to help any guy do any better...

Peccy's photo
Sun 06/15/08 01:16 PM
He would be if that were his work. Copy and paste much dude?

IndnPrncs's photo
Sun 06/15/08 01:19 PM

He would be if that were his work. Copy and paste much dude?


It's not ok his or someone else's Pec... But of course you know we all really believed he came up with that.... laugh

Smiggers's photo
Sun 06/15/08 01:33 PM
he's more on track then most. i cant stand a man that kiss's my ass or sux up. complete turn off!

Fade2Black's photo
Sun 06/15/08 02:05 PM

he's more on track then most. i cant stand a man that kiss's my ass or sux up. complete turn off!



I totally agree .. a lot of it is on target

but I also agree with Joy - wayyyyyyyyyyyy too long

Say it in a 1/10th of that and you have an audience :wink:

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