I had my ex of 11yrs leave my house a month ago after suspecting her having an affair with another man. I was right and she immediately moved in with him.. that night. Since then she has not left me alone. I have been inundated with phone calls.. unfortunately she only lives a mile from me so she frequently shows up. She starts to tell me about all the sex they have, how much in love she is with this person.. how she plans on marrying him one day.. etc etc. and I of course ask her to leave. This is the same thing she did last yr when she left me for some man in Louisiana only to call me a week after she left begging for forgiveness and promising to make things better. She has filed a false police report accusing me of "beating" her.. and anyone who knows me knows how rediculous that is. I am not a violent person. Needless to say the police didnt persue it once they looked at my caller ID and saw she had called me over 20 times that day. I could go on and on about what shes done but right now thats not that important. What I want to know is why is she doing this?
If she is in fact so happy with this man why will she not leave me be? Why does she find it necessary to "hurt" me by telling me how much sex they have and how much in love she is. Cant she just leave me be? If she is doing this to hurt me for hurting her then why have the affair in the first place? Why move in with this person the very same night I ask her to leave because of my suspicions? I dont want to keep rambling.. I just dont understand why she wont leave me be.
Any insight would be soooo appreciated.. Im not sure how much more of it I can take..

Sounds like she is a couple beers short of a six pack.

my question is not why she does what she does... but why do you do what you do?... for you cant change her behaviors but only yours?

so why do you let her do this to you? why do you answer the phone? why dont you shut the door in her face? and why do you let her stalk you?

just something to think about

Just a question why was your ex (of 11 years) living with you in the first place?

maybe cos you let her.

Block her number on your phone, change your locks and don't answer the door when she comes around, if she doesn't get the message get a restraining order for harrasment. You can press charges for her filing a false police report. And as for her moving in with the guy she may have had no where else to go. And now she's miserable, blames you, and is just trying to ensure you are as miserable as she is, and figgures that telling you how happy she is will do that. On the flip side of that she may just have mental issues.

In the final analysis, her behavior is not rational. What does that tell you.

think that may be a stalking charge if she keeps it up...

Not judging, but it sounds like she likes the game. Some people enjoy the drama that comes with an on-again, off-again relationship. They enjoy the adrenaline rush that comes from finding someone new to mess around with, the secrecy, the building tension; then when things explode they want you, the injured party, to beg, cry and be miserable without them.

This seems to be a pattern with her. Better to close that door once and for all, then try to get on with a happy, functional life. I doubt you will find that with her.

Good luck!

Be strong, take a stand against this ridiculous behavior, put a period and move on. Time heals all wounds. Don't allow her the satisfaction of getting to you.
Good Luck

She's a schizophrenic psycho... get a restraining order and quick!

Your first mistake was taking her back, after the first time.
I can forgive a lot of things. But cheating isn't one of them.
She's playing mind games with you. She's not sorry she cheated. She's sorry she got caught. She's hoping that you'll break down and beg for her back. You have the upper hand right now. If you break down and ask her to come back. She knows that the upper hand will be hers.That she'll be able to continue doing what she wants to do and that you'll always forgive and forget.

She sounds like a sick, low self-esteem whack job. Do as these folks say and maybe add a restraining order???? This is abuse by her!!

I don't know if ya'll were married. If so HASTEN that divorce. What a freak!!! She still wants her problems to be your problems and she is just plain mean and cruel. You can do better!!

I agree!!!!!

you are what i once was... the "fall back plan"...

this sucks..
it is not a good place to be..

whe tells you how happy she is now.. how in love she is. and how perfect her life is because she wants to make sure that you will feel sorry for her when they break up.. and she is making sure that you are hurting.. and that your hurning doesnt stop.. that way you are still voulerable (spelling today.. uugghh.. sorry) when she comes crawling back to you.. you are still huring.. she is hurting.. she sees what she did wrong... *poof* back together....
while she begins looking for her next victim...

best advice.. (are there kids involved?? it gets a bit more complicated then..)
tell her to go F her new bf.. and to leave you the f alnoe!!!!
tell her that if she contiinues to harass you that you will be calling the poliece.. and document everything from this moment on.. every timee she stops by.. what she says.. write it down.. and follow through. next time she calls/stops by.. call the cops..
say i told her to stop harassing me.. joe here washere when i told her that.. and this is what she has done since then.. tell them the list...

and move on.. do NOT get sucked back into her little game that she calls life again!!!!


jmo..
best of luck.. this is a horrible situation to be in..

Good morning Tazz

GREAT MORNING TO YOU< Steph!

If you ever want to have a life, get her out of yours.

I also agree!!!! and get the restraining order now!!!

Thanks for the replies.. Maybe I should clarify.. we were never married.. I have talked to the police. Im hoping to relocate to another state in the very near future.. yes some of it is to get away from her. I have taken the steps to keep her away.. I just want to know why she is doing what shes doing. Was I blind the past 11 yrs to her doings. I have found out some very disturbing things in the past few months about her.. Her bomb threat to her ex husbands school 12 yrs ago.. her way of getting him to come home and not go to class so she could talk. He left her because of her cheating on him twice.... then theres the insurance fraud she was brought up on..Neither I knew til recently. I do NOT want her back. Am I hurt?? of course .. there goes 11 yrs of my life. wouldnt anyone be hurt.. I know Ill be fine.. thats not a problem here.. Theres someone out there that will be true and honest and will want a true gentleman as I feel I am.
I guess Im just confused as to her constant need to keep me up to date on their "love" status and her happiness that she now has.. is she that deviant.. apparantly so..