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| Topic: what would u do if your best friend | |
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I trust people.....up until they break it...then I don't. But, like Franshade stated, it takes alot to become a "true" best friend. My best friend would never do anything like that. He respects himself and his wife way to much to do so. In this scenario, if this were me, I would have done what you did. Confront them both and see what they say. If they lie about it, then the red flag goes up and that's that. You can't control people, but you can ask for respect. I don't think forbidding her was the way to go. More than likely it made her want to keep contact with your former best friend (ya know, just to spite you). If you had said something like "If you respect me, and us, please don't keep contact with him" or something like that, and she still did it, then something was (or was going to) happen. Sorry this happened to ya bro. hey got a question for you and the OP, what is gained by confronting anyone? As opposed to just sitting back and not saying anything? You can't show that you can be walked all over on. True, dude might have been drunk and all, and as I said, the OP did overreact a little (IMO). But you have to say something about it. I'm sorry goof, was not judging by any means... truly curious. Why would you assume this would be like being walked over, I think he wanted to see how far things could go, so he should just buck up and take it. Too many assumptions made by OP. Do you believe things got too far? would you allow any man (if this was your scenario) to touch your g/f while she sleeps? and watch to see how far either would go? I am just sharing that I react differently. If my man and I are in bed and 'A G/F' comes into my room and touches my man she'd be out cold til the morning on my bedroom floor. but thats just me  No. Don't be sorry. I wasn't like mad or something. It's all good. And....HELL NO! No man touches my girlfriend while we are in bed. Hell, my GF would have woke up and drop kicked his ass out the door.   And she would not allow a woman to touch me like that either. Here is the thing. Had the best friend been really drunk, and then apologized to him for what he did and not deny it, then that is cool. Not that it would make me trust the dude anymore, but at least he owned up for being a dumbarse. I'm so with you, but she can keep the apology, she can keep the excuse and she can keep the picture of her black/blue eye as well as a reminder. lmaooo sorry not promoting violence, just being truthful as to how I wouldve handled it. |
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I'm so with you, but she can keep the apology, she can keep the excuse and she can keep the picture of her black/blue eye as well as a reminder. lmaooo sorry not promoting violence, just being truthful as to how I wouldve handled it. You could just tazer her though.
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um ok is there another red flag or not ? .. but why do they have each others cell phone number?
that means even if you had one call the other why did they save the number .???? man you better sneak up on them this stuff sounds like cheating ..but before you start taking / accepting our opinions id act like i have to go out of town .. then sneak in and you know ..... 
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hit on your GF/SPOUSE but your spouse/gf maintiained the friendship? My now ex best friend of 27 yrs hit on my gf of 11yrs while we were in bed asleep. This happend about a 1-1/2 yrs ago. She and I were in bed asleep and about 3:30 am he came into the bedroom, was at the foot of the bed and started to rub her legs under the covers. He didnt know I had woke up when he came into the room. When his hand got too far up I got up and it scared him. Now I didnt do anything when he first started because I wasnt really sure what he was doing, and when I realized exactly what he was doing I wanted to see what she would do. She did nothing! But I know she was awake too. Anyhow, I confronted them both the next morning and his reply to me was "I did?". He was drunk but that is no excuse. Her answer was she was asleep and didnt know. Obviously he is no longer my best friend and I guess Ill never see the 3500.00 he owes me and thats fine. I told her she was no longer allowed to associate with him or have contact and she agreed. Appearantly she felt it was more important to keep the friendship with him than to have the respect for our relationship. I found out shortly thereafter that they still maintained a friendship. I guess my question is .. what would you do? Would you have forbid them to remain friends? What would you do if you found out they were still friends? She claimed/s nothing ever happend between the two of them. But I never had trust for her again and IMO its what ultimately led to our demise. I never tell anyone who can and can't be their friend. I pretty much go under the assumption that if they are happy with me and i am with them, and we have a good relastionship, they will say no. If they say yes, we probly wern't right for eachother in the first place. Stuff like this is why i dont like secrets in relastionships. If a girl told me my friend hit on her, i would be ok with it. If i had to find out, i wouldn't be. The reason? Because ultimately she has nothing to hide. If she cheated she would probly tell me. If she's hideing it, then she can't be being very respectfull of me, and she sure isnt trusting me very much. |
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Well I would have confronted him and her just as you did, as for forbidding them from being friends that wouldnt have done any good. Just as it did with you it probably would have ended our relationship.
Hope that you had a good week. 
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all i gotta say is this..... if i was your girlfriend you never would have had to ask me to not be his friend anymore cause i would of just chosen not to be...... as far as the forbidding part i dont beleive in.... i would want to be with someone whom respected my relationship with them enough to know they would not have to do that..... you cant tell someone what to do or who to be friends with but you can respect each other enough to never feel you have to try to forbid someone from something..... if you have to do that there was no relationship in the firstplace...
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If you can't trust the one you're with, why would you be with them?
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I'd probably be telling him he's got some explaining to do. He probably wouldn't be staying at my place, or hanging out with me any time soon...
As for her, I'd trust her... but if I found out anything happened with him or someone else it's goodbye. I won't tolerate that, and I don't expect anyone else to. I can forgive... but that would cause a major problem with having a commited relationship. |
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Ok for one thing..the only person you can control is yourself!! You can not forbid your gf or ex gf to talk to anyone. Sure you can ask her not to talk to anyone out of respect for your relastionship..but I truly believe when you say something like..I FORBID YOU TO TALK TO THIS PERSON...they are going to show you that you don't own them.
I think you were totally wrong for allowing your best friend to even touch your ex gf. The minute he walked into your bedroom, you should have jumped out of the bed and told him to leave your room. IF you wanted to see how far your gf would let things go, then you already had doubt about her and your best friend!! If you don't talk to your best friend and your gf, I think maybe you are better off. Hey I think if he doesn't pay you back that money...it would be worth it to have peace and quiet in your life. I love a life that is not chaotic..I don't know about you, but peace and quiet is good 
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I know this is not the most intelligent answer, coming from a man who claims to be christian an all......... But I would dump her ass an take that sin to his chin. I guarantee that $3500.00 Would cha-ching cha-ching! Be spillin' out of his ass with every stomp of my foot and knuckle scraping punch to his head. But then again, that $3500.00 could add up to 3xs as much as I would probably get sued shortly after, with a police report.... Just take his ass to court (for the money) and break up with her. It's simple.
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we arent together anymore. Just couldnt accept the fact that she thought their "friendship" was more important than our relationship. Shes now living with some guy about a mile from me.. oh and guess what... my ex best friend is now their good friend.. imagine that..
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good luck to you lov2fish
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good lord; how creepy; obviously he did this because I think there was something going on. Your loyalties will show the truth.
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