what do u think? are you expecting that a woman would come to talk to you 1st. I don't like that idea still, I feel like I m still a little bit old fashion.

i dont usually talk to guys first cuz im shy,


"especially when they have ur number n u have theirs wait for them to call, then they think that you are easy"

-HAH, thanks mom.

I think whoever has something to SAY should start a conversation.

actually women do... this isn't the 50's anymore women can speak up now if they want something or are interested

That just makes too much sense!

Seriously, one of the first things I learned here was that it's a complete waste of time for me to try to write to anybody first. I did that, and never got a single reply.

Two years and two books later, things have changed -- I get plenty of e-mail here now.

But I still will not write to anybody first.

bingo.

i mean i wont go all hardcore aggressive. but i will say hi and blush shyly and flirt. but i wont be all crazed and in their face.

Guys job to start it in my eyes anyway

I agree

If she's interested she'll find a way to let you know. Sometimes a smile and a "hi" is all it takes.

Agreed. Doesn't matter to me either way. I'm an equal opportunity talker.

we have to work out shyness, just like any other thing, and with repeating this process, you will be more comfortable in the long run, and that's for either sex. the worst they can do is get pissed, and then....would you want to date them anyway? we live by our communicational skills, whether we're dating, talking to family, or talking business, and we find that most have a gentler side, and won't crucify you for saying hello.

It would be nice if a women would speak up instead of making the guys say something all of the time. What I mean by this is women hardy ever say hi or hello or noting and when guys do this by email or whatever they get noting at all. So what the hell gives.. it's like a catch 22 any more. It's almost like I'd be damn if I did and damn if I didn't make the first contact etc.

Bottom line here is it's 200 freakin 9 and not 1900's or 1960's etc.

I mean really how is a guy ever going to know if a women likes him and that guy does noting because he never has been out on a date and she has yet she has no clue so there both waiting across a party or big room for one or another to make the first move and neither say's noting then it becames both partys lost. Besides women always play hard to get. I'm guessing guys can do the same but most choose not to do so.

It would almost be less stressful and maybe even cheaper just to say the hell with it all and go get a pornstar or hooker for a few nights of fun instead of even bothering any more about getting a date with a women who always never always responds for the most of the time if at all.


Then again it could just be me and all dunno.

I know I am extremely shy at times and won't say much to a women I might like, because most of the time 9 times out of 10 she already has a man, so it would be worthless of me to make a fool out of my self etc.

lol besides I never got hit on by a women before, so how am I supposed to know if she likes me by a simple smile etc.

despite the times, the games have gone on for centuries, and ebbed and waned. if you are looking, you have to find one that's responsive to you, and not the game. the games are the worst between 18-40, after that, most are sick of it, and they slow down to a degree.

it would sure help in my case

Are you referring to here on Mingle ?

I think if both parties are interested then who cares who starts the conversation? The people I talk to on here, I initiated the conversation and they replied. I believe as long as you aren't a complete moron and you are respectful with your first message then you will always get a reply.

I am absolutely flattered when a woman starts a conversation with me. It is so refreshing not to have to do it all the time.

...well get screamed at, ridiculed, sh!t on, spit on, teased, and tormented by enough women that you tried to initiate conversation with and you will come to the conclusion that they are all dangerous and crazy and mean heartless violent psychopaths that need commitment of the medical kind.

Women already choose who they want when they are the ones being courted so ladies why not escape all the wrong courtier and court first.

Girls are yucky.