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Topic: Advice please
justme659's photo
Fri 02/06/09 12:13 PM
Here is the basics. Meet a guy, he asked to go out again. I said ok, so he calls and asks what am I doing this weekend. So I am honest ( or dense ) and I say I just have to do some cleaning around the house and psych, math homework and a writing assignment due on monday I have to finish. Again he asks " so, do you have any plans for this weekend?" After the 3rd time he asks the same question I finally ask, " Are you asking me to go out?' His reply was " well think of something to do and let me know before 5pm on friday." WTF? Am I missing something here? I thought that if you call a person to ask him or her out, that there should be some sort of plans already in motion, ie... how about movies or would you rather just do dinner? Or is this something new that is socially acceptible now-a-days?

no photo
Fri 02/06/09 12:17 PM
If someone asks me out, I would expect him to at least have an idea of what to do. If he's one of those guys that can't even pick something to do.. it wouldn't last long for me.

Ruth34611's photo
Fri 02/06/09 12:18 PM
That would annoy me. I wouldn't bother calling him back.

Urg04es's photo
Fri 02/06/09 12:22 PM
I have a guy friend that will ask me out, then when he picks me up say what do you want to do? Um-I want to sit back, relax and let you entertain me dummy! frustrated frustrated frustrated frustrated

no photo
Fri 02/06/09 12:24 PM
A man without a brain is basically a man without a brain........



I bet if you married him he would be one of those guys asking you where HE put his socks!!!laugh laugh laugh laugh

justme659's photo
Fri 02/06/09 12:25 PM

I have a guy friend that will ask me out, then when he picks me up say what do you want to do? Um-I want to sit back, relax and let you entertain me dummy! frustrated frustrated frustrated frustrated


laugh I hope you tell him that. laugh

Do you mind if I use that when I call this guy back?

justme659's photo
Fri 02/06/09 12:25 PM

A man without a brain is basically a man without a brain........



I bet if you married him he would be one of those guys asking you where HE put his socks!!!laugh laugh laugh laugh


Crap, I had one of those already, I dont want another one. laugh

Jill298's photo
Fri 02/06/09 12:27 PM

That would annoy me. I wouldn't bother calling him back.
agreed.

ljcc1964's photo
Fri 02/06/09 12:29 PM
Sounds like the dorkster wants you to do all the legwork.

I've gotten those before.


Really tiresome.

Jill298's photo
Fri 02/06/09 12:30 PM

His reply was " well think of something to do and let me know before 5pm on friday

tick...tocklaugh times wasting, better hurry with your plans. laugh

Dan99's photo
Fri 02/06/09 12:32 PM
Phone him at a minute past 5pm on Friday and tell him that he is a tool

no photo
Fri 02/06/09 12:33 PM
Sounds a little pety to me......

Often women will play the control game..... I want to control this relationship so i will hide my true feelings........ creates an atmosphere of mistrust and leads to being with someone you dont really know. Then women will ask next why dont men have enough confidence.......
Obviously he liked you, wouldnt hurt to stroke his ego a little and get what your looking for in return!

I know confidence is sexy, but why when you pursue a woman and they dont return the favor often enough its unattractive. i think its cause they are seeking control and its a big turn off. When i find a woman i like i let them know, but when they play the game ill except all our attention but not return the favor its just a mind game and guys will walk away from a woman like that.

justme659's photo
Fri 02/06/09 12:34 PM


His reply was " well think of something to do and let me know before 5pm on friday

tick...tocklaugh times wasting, better hurry with your plans. laugh


rofl I know what MY plans are, homework and cleaning. If I had my druthers, I'druther stay home. laugh


KBradley's photo
Fri 02/06/09 12:34 PM
If he is giving you a deadline he has back up plans. Which means one day you will probably be the back up plan. You shouldnt waste your time.

RKISIT's photo
Fri 02/06/09 12:34 PM
i usually have a game plan ,but i have had planned dates and the woman i took on the date hated it....please tell me whats wrong with going to a bar on the beach(tiki bar)having a few drinks then wanting sex..come on whats wrong with that..some smooth reggae kickin,the beach,me...what else would they want:smile:

Jill298's photo
Fri 02/06/09 12:35 PM
call him at 6 and tell him you're on a date

justme659's photo
Fri 02/06/09 12:40 PM

Sounds a little pety to me......

Often women will play the control game..... I want to control this relationship so i will hide my true feelings........ creates an atmosphere of mistrust and leads to being with someone you dont really know. Then women will ask next why dont men have enough confidence.......
Obviously he liked you, wouldnt hurt to stroke his ego a little and get what your looking for in return!

I know confidence is sexy, but why when you pursue a woman and they dont return the favor often enough its unattractive. i think its cause they are seeking control and its a big turn off. When i find a woman i like i let them know, but when they play the game ill except all our attention but not return the favor its just a mind game and guys will walk away from a woman like that.


Obviously he liked me, (I am a very likeable person), But on the first date he wanted to come over to my home. But thats not going to happen. I can sit home alone and watch movies, I dont need someone to be groping me the whole time, and wanting more just because they are here. Its called dating for a reason, no? Isnt the point to go out of the house and get to know the other person? And I dont need my ego stroked, why should I encourage this person I really dont know anything about?

I am not trying to play any games, I am just trying to find out whats proper now a days.

MelodyGirl's photo
Fri 02/06/09 12:40 PM
Hi happy

Wow, that would annoy me as well. He is passive aggressive! Also, it seems he is not a good 'listener'. With all the chores and tasks you told him about -- he still asked if you had plans? huh

When it comes to dating, I am very traditional. My biggest issue is getting through the email communications. I’d guess that only 2 out of 10 guys start with introducing themselves. What happened to chivalry, genteelism, and basic communication? Text abbreviations, bad grammar, misspellings, etc, are tacky. I’m amazed that so few even proof read their profiles. I digress ... I didn’t mean to go off on a tangent! oops

First, if he asks me out only two or three days prior to date night, I will think I am Plan 'B'. To me, it's rude to ask a person for a last minute date. How can we feel special when we are last minute? slaphead I think that only applies to a NEW relationship though. tongue2

I prefer the guy to ask me out, have a plan, and follow through with grace. I don't reply to 'hey you' text messaging for a date or to have someone ask if I want to 'hang out'.

In your case, if he is putting his best foot forward now -- and that's his best effort --imagine how bad it will be when the honeymoon is over!

Best wishes! Keep your bar high! That's good advice for MEN and women. flowers

Melody :heart:

Jill298's photo
Fri 02/06/09 12:41 PM
better yet... call him at 7 and ask him why the hell he stood you up laugh

Dan99's photo
Fri 02/06/09 12:43 PM
Call him at 8 and tell him you are getting laid

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