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Topic: Hypothetical Question....
no photo
Wed 02/11/09 02:35 PM
Let's say someone loves you......yet they withhold communication and even assistance previously offered when you have upset them with something you have said or done. What kind of conclusions do you come to in your mind about this relationship?

RainbowTrout's photo
Wed 02/11/09 02:40 PM
I would say it might be a shallow love. Humans acting human-like is normal.:smile:

SitkaRains's photo
Wed 02/11/09 02:42 PM

Let's say someone loves you......yet they withhold communication and even assistance previously offered when you have upset them with something you have said or done. What kind of conclusions do you come to in your mind about this relationship?

This sounds like to me a love that is conditional and very selfish. I would calmly let them know that I would not tolerate it and that I know my self worth. I wouldn't dream of treating them that way I will not allow them to treat me this way.
If a meeting of minds couldn't be meet well I would be leaving the relationship.

PATSFAN's photo
Wed 02/11/09 02:44 PM
I'm emotionally unavailableohwell

no photo
Wed 02/11/09 02:44 PM
What to you is a reasonable time frame to "take a break" when someone ticks you off? How long do you wait to call them?

MirrorMirror's photo
Wed 02/11/09 02:44 PM

Let's say someone loves you......yet they withhold communication and even assistance previously offered when you have upset them with something you have said or done. What kind of conclusions do you come to in your mind about this relationship?



bigsmile life insurance policies and fatal accidentsbigsmile

Dragoness's photo
Wed 02/11/09 02:45 PM

Let's say someone loves you......yet they withhold communication and even assistance previously offered when you have upset them with something you have said or done. What kind of conclusions do you come to in your mind about this relationship?


Control freak, RUN!!!!

bgeorge's photo
Wed 02/11/09 02:45 PM
it's normal childish behavior...esp from a guy...and guys before call me a biotch or manhater...you must know by now that i absolutely adore you...it's like giving a gift w/strings attatched which isn't really a gift at all...

RKISIT's photo
Wed 02/11/09 02:53 PM


Let's say someone loves you......yet they withhold communication and even assistance previously offered when you have upset them with something you have said or done. What kind of conclusions do you come to in your mind about this relationship?



bigsmile life insurance policies and fatal accidentsbigsmile
i love that show "snapped"

no photo
Wed 02/11/09 03:03 PM
Edited by heathersaysgobucks on Wed 02/11/09 03:04 PM
Interesting answers.....

Here's another....if someone stops calling/emailing as they used to, but continues to say they love you...how does it look if you don't chase after them, but rather wait on them to make contact? Do you end up looking like you're disinterested, or merely giving them space?

Dragoness's photo
Wed 02/11/09 03:12 PM

Interesting answers.....

Here's another....if someone stops calling/emailing as they used to, but continues to say they love you...how does it look if you don't chase after them, but rather wait on them to make contact? Do you end up looking like you're disinterested, or merely giving them space?


Without knowing the history of the relationship and the person's personality this is hard to call.

Personally, I would state to the person that it seems to me they are needed space or time or whatever and I will respect that. Of course, if their personal time goes into a month or longer I would let them know that I have a life also and my life is important to me even if not to them. I would then say we need to not be in an exclusive relationship and just be friends. I would start dating others.

May777's photo
Wed 02/11/09 03:16 PM

Interesting answers.....

Here's another....if someone stops calling/emailing as they used to, but continues to say they love you...how does it look if you don't chase after them, but rather wait on them to make contact? Do you end up looking like you're disinterested, or merely giving them space?


You end up looking like you`re not into playing those kind of games,..and hopefully,.. they will get the message,..


May777's photo
Wed 02/11/09 03:18 PM

What to you is a reasonable time frame to "take a break" when someone ticks you off? How long do you wait to call them?


if you`re the one whose ticked,..I wouldn`t be the first one to call,..cause it`s telling them that it`s ok to treat you that way,..

Totage's photo
Wed 02/11/09 03:19 PM

Let's say someone loves you......yet they withhold communication and even assistance previously offered when you have upset them with something you have said or done. What kind of conclusions do you come to in your mind about this relationship?


That's not love. They're saying "I love you" to keep you hooked.

no photo
Wed 02/11/09 03:20 PM
To much drama to wrap my head around...but situations.. run forest runbigsmile

no photo
Wed 02/11/09 03:31 PM

To much drama to wrap my head around...but situations.. run forest runbigsmile


You know, part of that is true. It's only dramatic if you let it be, and this I refuse to do myself or cause to someone else. I guess a person can only say they are sorry for any hurt feelings they have caused and trust their instincts on where a situation is headed. I play devil's advocate on myself WAY too much. It's exhausting.

SitkaRains's photo
Wed 02/11/09 03:45 PM
What to you is a reasonable time frame to "take a break" when someone ticks you off? How long do you wait to call them?

If I am taking a break from someone that usually means I am done and so is the relationship. Now if I am taking some cool down time that is different and I will let that person know I am too angry to continue this and I am taking a break till we can discuss it rationally like adults.



Interesting answers.....

Here's another....if someone stops calling/emailing as they used to, but continues to say they love you...how does it look if you don't chase after them, but rather wait on them to make contact? Do you end up looking like you're disinterested, or merely giving them space?


First of all is someone tells me they love me there had better be more than emails, and phone calls. If someone has told me that they are interested then back off well I get the hint and I dont' play the game of chase you very well.


I also in all these of these scenarios would call BS..I am done with the drama.

no photo
Wed 02/11/09 03:53 PM

Let's say someone loves you......yet they withhold communication and even assistance previously offered when you have upset them with something you have said or done. What kind of conclusions do you come to in your mind about this relationship?


Withholding communication is a HUGE red flag for me. When someone is upset, I think it's even MORE important to ensure that the lines of communication remain open -- how else are you going to achieve any sort of realistic resolution?



no photo
Wed 02/11/09 04:06 PM
You are all very wise. I think the whole communication scenario could apply to a multitude of situations. But if ya can't achieve a good balance for both of you, it just isn't going anywhere. Doesn't necessarily make one person right or wrong, just probably wrong for each other.

downhomechik's photo
Wed 02/11/09 04:15 PM
Tanya Tucker had it right...."If it don't come easy you better let it go...."

Then again, did she ever get married????? LOL

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