Topic: How to trust men again?
IndnPrncs's photo
Wed 03/11/09 10:31 PM


I was married for 23 years and my Ex had a 20 yr old girlfriend, and then he is seeing my bestfriend now, they are planning on getting married. I wish them well, past them.

Problem is: how do I start trusting men again, I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. But, it's hard for me to get involved, and how do I trust again.


HELP ME!!!!!!


if one actually trust each word of another, then itself CANNOT be decieved, and true trust OF ITSELF MUST AND WILL EXIST.

it is only but deciding what is true, by what oneself WISH to be true, that can decieve.

all other's words as true, expose any deciet or impure motive, or lie.

it is most the seeking for truth for self, that cloud what is true, by dividing all data in the brain, into two, and where the line is drawn, is controlled by the wants, so when truth is sought for other's, by making the brain accept all is true, then no harm by deception can ever come to self.

the truth lie in plain sight, to what does not divide all words into either true or untrue.

most, these "tells" are ignored, BECAUSE IT IS NOT WHAT SELF WANT TO BE TRUE, so it is denied within self, when it is heard.

the trap of self want above all, ensnare the brain, to take unto itself only what it wish be true, which make it take unto itself, what will harm itself.

peace





This reminds me of Gary Busey's zen...

RKISIT's photo
Wed 03/11/09 10:44 PM

I was married for 23 years and my Ex had a 20 yr old girlfriend, and then he is seeing my bestfriend now, they are planning on getting married. I wish them well, past them.

Problem is: how do I start trusting men again, I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. But, it's hard for me to get involved, and how do I trust again.


HELP ME!!!!!!
trusting in someone is a gamble...the part we don't understand is the odds:smile:

no photo
Thu 03/12/09 07:46 AM
~SIGHbrokenheart indifferent

Nova86's photo
Thu 03/12/09 07:50 AM
Edited by Nova86 on Thu 03/12/09 07:51 AM
every person is different....to not trust someone new in your life means that you are comparing them to the past relationships in your life........just because one man (or more) did that to you, that does not mean that every man is untrustworthy

i believe that you should give everyone the benefit of the doubt until they give you a reason to not trust them, JMO

HarleyGuy4205's photo
Thu 03/12/09 08:02 AM

every person is different....to not trust someone new in your life means that you are comparing them to the past relationships in your life........just because one man (or more) did that to you, that does not mean that every man is untrustworthy

i believe that you should give everyone the benefit of the doubt until they give you a reason to not trust them, JMO


Word Brother! If we judged everyone based on the past what a horribly bad life to live. Trust untill they give you a reason not to be trusted.

TBRich's photo
Thu 03/12/09 08:03 AM
DTA!

Nova86's photo
Thu 03/12/09 10:08 AM

DTA!


i think that it should be more like DFTA....don't FULLY trust anyone.....but you have to have trust in some or what else do you have?? it is a bleak existence when you have nobody to turn to

tanyaann's photo
Thu 03/12/09 10:15 AM
First and foremost, you have to work on yourself. Being married that long, you may have lost yourself. And if he cheated... you didn't see the signs or neglected to see the signs, you must work on your self-esteem and 'who you are'. Once, you have worked on yourself, then you become open to the idea of being in a relationship. Like one poster said trust is earned, but it is also given.

Work on yourself, don't worry about trust or a relationship and everything will fall into place. One mistake, that people make when getting out of a marriage or relationship, is to go right into another relationship. Don't! Be okay with being by yourself and having a relationship will just be an addition to your life.

Best wishes!

davidben1's photo
Thu 03/12/09 07:39 PM
Edited by davidben1 on Thu 03/12/09 07:53 PM



I was married for 23 years and my Ex had a 20 yr old girlfriend, and then he is seeing my bestfriend now, they are planning on getting married. I wish them well, past them.

Problem is: how do I start trusting men again, I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. But, it's hard for me to get involved, and how do I trust again.


HELP ME!!!!!!


if one actually trust each word of another, then itself CANNOT be decieved, and true trust OF ITSELF MUST AND WILL EXIST.

it is only but deciding what is true, by what oneself WISH to be true, that can decieve.

all other's words as true, expose any deciet or impure motive, or lie.

it is most the seeking for truth for self, that cloud what is true, by dividing all data in the brain, into two, and where the line is drawn, is controlled by the wants, so when truth is sought for other's, by making the brain accept all is true, then no harm by deception can ever come to self.

the truth lie in plain sight, to what does not divide all words into either true or untrue.

most, these "tells" are ignored, BECAUSE IT IS NOT WHAT SELF WANT TO BE TRUE, so it is denied within self, when it is heard.

the trap of self want above all, ensnare the brain, to take unto itself only what it wish be true, which make it take unto itself, what will harm itself.

peace





This reminds me of Gary Busey's zen...


if you read it again, it would not, as it is directly opposed to such, but the difference is very "small".

it is but a sliver, that divide what create heaven or hell, and why trying to divide all things into categorie's, of either good or bad, can never allow the insight to see the difference.

peace

longhairbiker's photo
Thu 03/12/09 07:49 PM
I have no advice, only opinions.

feistybaby's photo
Thu 03/12/09 07:53 PM
slaphead So that's where I go wrong.....you are supposed to trust them....geez now ya tell me !

davidben1's photo
Thu 03/12/09 07:55 PM

slaphead So that's where I go wrong.....you are supposed to trust them....geez now ya tell me !


lol...

did you leave out the part, that IF SELF WANT, OR WISH, IT WILL MAKE ONE BLIND, OR IGNORE THE OBVIOUS!!!

that is spoken in all words...

IndnPrncs's photo
Thu 03/12/09 10:21 PM




I was married for 23 years and my Ex had a 20 yr old girlfriend, and then he is seeing my bestfriend now, they are planning on getting married. I wish them well, past them.

Problem is: how do I start trusting men again, I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. But, it's hard for me to get involved, and how do I trust again.


HELP ME!!!!!!


if one actually trust each word of another, then itself CANNOT be decieved, and true trust OF ITSELF MUST AND WILL EXIST.

it is only but deciding what is true, by what oneself WISH to be true, that can decieve.

all other's words as true, expose any deciet or impure motive, or lie.

it is most the seeking for truth for self, that cloud what is true, by dividing all data in the brain, into two, and where the line is drawn, is controlled by the wants, so when truth is sought for other's, by making the brain accept all is true, then no harm by deception can ever come to self.

the truth lie in plain sight, to what does not divide all words into either true or untrue.

most, these "tells" are ignored, BECAUSE IT IS NOT WHAT SELF WANT TO BE TRUE, so it is denied within self, when it is heard.

the trap of self want above all, ensnare the brain, to take unto itself only what it wish be true, which make it take unto itself, what will harm itself.

peace





This reminds me of Gary Busey's zen...


if you read it again, it would not, as it is directly opposed to such, but the difference is very "small".

it is but a sliver, that divide what create heaven or hell, and why trying to divide all things into categorie's, of either good or bad, can never allow the insight to see the difference.

peace



Yep definitely Gary Busey zen...

no photo
Thu 03/12/09 10:26 PM
Keith Carradine......Kung fu the legend continues!!laugh glasses :wink:

IndnPrncs's photo
Thu 03/12/09 10:27 PM

Keith Carradine......Kung fu the legend continues!!laugh glasses :wink:



(((Gyps))) I so adore you.. Can't wait till you get here...

no photo
Thu 03/12/09 10:28 PM


Keith Carradine......Kung fu the legend continues!!laugh glasses :wink:



(((Gyps))) I so adore you.. Can't wait till you get here...
bigsmile flowerforyou One day sista....:banana:

IndnPrncs's photo
Thu 03/12/09 10:31 PM
June? July? August? :banana: drinks

no photo
Thu 03/12/09 10:33 PM

June? July? August? :banana: drinks
Hmmmmmmm I would have to see if I can get time off!!! I wanna go EVVVVVVVVVVVVVERYWHERE!!!laugh laugh laugh

IndnPrncs's photo
Thu 03/12/09 10:34 PM
I don't blame you I have lots of places I want to go... Money is also an issue.. I'd like to buy a house by the end of the summer at the latest...

no photo
Thu 03/12/09 10:38 PM

I don't blame you I have lots of places I want to go... Money is also an issue.. I'd like to buy a house by the end of the summer at the latest...
Ya money and I wanna go here and someone wants me to go there and I wanna go there and blah blahhhhhhhhhhh we shall see!!!bigsmile