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| Topic: Fathers rights | |
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Do you really think that the child support payments really pays everything to support the child? I think if most men would keep their child for one year and pay everything, they would not complain as much as they do! What parent pays for everything????? I would gladly have my daughter full time!!!! As a matter of fact, I am putting my case together now to get her 100%. The difference is I will be civil and want her Mother to pay only what she should pay for and not expect her to pay a bunch of money that isnt needed from her! Child support payments should be fair where BOTH parents are responsible and accountable. Child support should not require the paying parent to pay so much, in fact the parent receiving the money for some reason feels they deserve more. Not sure why, it took two to make the child, both parties should be paying equally Honestly, I think the parent that has the child pays A LOT more then the parent that pays child support. BUT the parent that has the child gets extra benefits..like seeing the child every single day and being able to read them bedtime stories. Hey, it takes a lot of money to raise children, the older they get..the more it costs. I just don't understand why people keep saying they don't mind paying for things that are needed for the child, as the child gets older...things do come up!! Good luck on gaining custody of your daughter 
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Edited by
Winx
on
Mon 05/11/09 05:09 PM
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yea right...most men do not even pay child support...I don't even wanna hear it... AMEN!!! I battled mine in court for the $75 a week he was ordered to pay 15 years ago. I never took him back to get it increased.. so when he chose to go to court.. and it was upped to $105 week and he had to pay insurance... i had them tagged his wages( as he never paid anyways) and said... seeeeeeeeeeeee shoulda paid the $75 and called yourself lucky. $100 a week is very easily proved with rent, food, water, electricty clothing etc etc etc Yes, they don't realize that housing, electric, gas, water, gasoline for driving them around, and lots more is increased for the woman when they have a child. And I dont have housing, electric, gas, water, gasoline, clothes to buy, food, extra curric activities etc to do either? And what is this "They" stuff? I had to buy a house with a 2nd bedroom and a yard for my child. That house cost more then a one bedroom. I don't need a yard either. Children mean more clothes to wash and more people taking showers, hence more water, electric and gas. Bigger house - more electric and gas. Yes, the kids make us use more electric - music, video games, computer, lights in more rooms. More food to buy, more toilet paper, more EVERYTHING. I can handle a colder house but my child get colder then me so I have to turn the heat up. My kid has grown 5" in a year - 2x's. Constant growing means constant new clothes. There's personal things to buy - toothpaste, razors, etc. for boy and personal things for the girl and hair stuff, etc. It adds up! Let me see..at my kid's age...$75 basketball team, $75 volleyball team, $50 track team, Scouts, and then summer camps. Photos at school, school lunches, yearbook, school field trips. Then there's the gas for driving them to school and all of those basketball and volleyball games. My kid made State for Track this weekend. That's a 35 mile round trip. I'm thankful it's in my city this year. Wow, my kid has friends. There's birthday presents, movies, bowling and more. I have to drive them there too. Oh, yeah, I have to pay cash for the braces this month. This is just touching the surface of what a child costs and it's for my child's age. I remember the $100/month butt when they were in diapers. |
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I'd have no problem with his receiving a bank statement highlighting all his deposits and the expenses incurred. I keep one account for just this purpose. However, it'd be nice to also sit down and have a talk with his accountant to see how much money he's hidden away in an effort to lower his reported income so that he doesn't have to pay as much support as he probably should! I totally agree with this!! Its all based on income here..so if I have to show exactly what I spend the money on, lets just lay it all out on the table. |
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I'd have no problem with his receiving a bank statement highlighting all his deposits and the expenses incurred. I keep one account for just this purpose. However, it'd be nice to also sit down and have a talk with his accountant to see how much money he's hidden away in an effort to lower his reported income so that he doesn't have to pay as much support as he probably should! So, if the child is being taken care of in both homes, happy and nurtured in both homes, your expenses are measured and maintained, and all is well. Why does his income warrant the thought process of more money to you? Because the courts here are quite concerned that the child has similar lifestyles in both parents' homes; in other words, the child shouldn't live like royalty in the wealthy parent's house, yet just exist in the other's. This I agree with , yet I am living in a 2 bedroom apartment and my ex buys a new house and has an inground pool installed. Therefore, I am paying a lot of money every month, buy my own clothes for her, and pay half of all expenses in regards to medical, prescriptions, and activities. Have her 48% and have been declared as Shared Legal custody So, just because I make more money I cant get a good budget set because of what I pay.....Seems fair to me 
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yea right...most men do not even pay child support...I don't even wanna hear it... AMEN!!! I battled mine in court for the $75 a week he was ordered to pay 15 years ago. I never took him back to get it increased.. so when he chose to go to court.. and it was upped to $105 week and he had to pay insurance... i had them tagged his wages( as he never paid anyways) and said... seeeeeeeeeeeee shoulda paid the $75 and called yourself lucky. $100 a week is very easily proved with rent, food, water, electricty clothing etc etc etc Yes, they don't realize that housing, electric, gas, water, gasoline for driving them around, and lots more is increased for the woman when they have a child. And I dont have housing, electric, gas, water, gasoline, clothes to buy, food, extra curric activities etc to do either? And what is this "They" stuff? I had to buy a house with a 2nd bedroom and a yard for my child. That house cost more then a one bedroom. I don't need a yard either. Children mean more clothes to wash and more people taking showers, hence more water, electric and gas. Bigger house - more electric and gas. Yes, the kids make us use more electric - music, video games, computer, lights in more rooms. More food to buy, more toilet paper, more EVERYTHING. I can handle a colder house but my child get colder then me so I have to turn the heat up. My kid has grown 5" in a year - 2x's. Constant growing means constant new clothes. There's personal things to buy - toothpaste, razors, etc. for boy and personal things for the girl and hair stuff, etc. It adds up! Let me see..at my kid's age...$75 basketball team, $75 volleyball team, $50 track team, Scouts, and then summer camps. Photos at school, school lunches, yearbook, school field trips. Then there's the gas for driving them to school and all of those basketball and volleyball games. My kid made State for Track this weekend. That's a 35 mile round trip. I'm thankful it's in my city this year. Wow, my kid has friends. There's birthday presents, movies, bowling and more. I have to drive them there too. Oh, yeah, I have to pay cash for the braces this month. This is just touching the surface of what a child costs and it's for my child's age. I remember the $100/month butt when they were in diapers. Sounds like you need to work a new agreement, there is not one thing you mentioned that I dont have to encounter either
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I'd have no problem with his receiving a bank statement highlighting all his deposits and the expenses incurred. I keep one account for just this purpose. However, it'd be nice to also sit down and have a talk with his accountant to see how much money he's hidden away in an effort to lower his reported income so that he doesn't have to pay as much support as he probably should! So, if the child is being taken care of in both homes, happy and nurtured in both homes, your expenses are measured and maintained, and all is well. Why does his income warrant the thought process of more money to you? Because the courts here are quite concerned that the child has similar lifestyles in both parents' homes; in other words, the child shouldn't live like royalty in the wealthy parent's house, yet just exist in the other's. This I agree with , yet I am living in a 2 bedroom apartment and my ex buys a new house and has an inground pool installed. Therefore, I am paying a lot of money every month, buy my own clothes for her, and pay half of all expenses in regards to medical, prescriptions, and activities. Have her 48% and have been declared as Shared Legal custody So, just because I make more money I cant get a good budget set because of what I pay.....Seems fair to me YIKES!!! I think each state is different? Honestly, if I was you, I would seriously check into the amount of money you pay because of the amount of time you have your daughter. Now if you had her 50% of the time, I know if you were in Indiana, no-one would pay child support. I would think no matter what state you lived in..you would get a discount on support because of the insurance and prescriptions you pay..but I would seriously check into that!!! |
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Edited by
yaneverknow777
on
Mon 05/11/09 05:55 PM
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Well I honestly can't believe a person would deny support to there child. I pay nearly $1k a month for my middle two, and voluntarily pay some to my recent ex, for the 6 year old I have raised since birth (not my biological) but he is mine
Funny part is my ex with the youngest still has no respect for me and what I've done. Oh well she is in for a Huge surprise next week. |
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Well I honestly can't believe a person would deny support to there child. I pay nearly $1k a month for my middle two, and voluntarily pay some to my recent ex, for the 6 year old I have raised since birth (not my biological) but he is mine Funny part is my ex with the youngest still has no respect for me and what I've done. Oh well she is in for a Huge surprise next week. My ex didn't work for 3 or the 4 yrs we were together, and among his excuses was a child he didn't want to pay support for out in California. |
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I would be a little offended if they asked me to provide receipts considering he has only taken his visitation 2 weekends in 2 years...and then he only took one child. I pay for everything, and I do mean everything......
Ask me for receipts I guess I'll just show you every bill I pay....'cause I sure don't have any luxury money. |
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I'm all for equal amounts of support if both parents share the child. But what about all the parents who are doing it with full custody? And I'm not talking about the parent who got full custody out of spite, I'm talking about the parent who has full custody because the other parent doesn't want to have anything to do with the child.
When my daughter's father was alive, he was ordered to pay $113/month in support, plus carry her on his insurance. I got the support maybe 3 times a year at best and received insurance for her once in her entire lifetime. Trust me, if I had to write up an itemized report on how I spent that support money, it would be very short cause you can only stretch it so far. But I'd be willing to write up that report, but I'd also include all the other expenses I had to put out each month for my daughter that he DIDN'T have to pay for and that was put all on me. Trust me, if it was done that way, there would be a lot more child support being ordered to those parents who get away with only paying a couple of bucks a month. |
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WELL CALL ME BITTER, after 2yrs i got cust. I know were the money went and it was not for the child.. MY {we all say MY when its OUR}child was take out of state against my protest and court order. BUT when I wanted support it was NO.. she was not working ECT. I basic was told get a 3rd job if you have to, YOU WILL apy it. whats fair there? I'm NOT one to skip out on bills, but whats good for one is good for both, bit of double standard here..
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yea right...most men do not even pay child support...I don't even wanna hear it... AMEN!!! I battled mine in court for the $75 a week he was ordered to pay 15 years ago. I never took him back to get it increased.. so when he chose to go to court.. and it was upped to $105 week and he had to pay insurance... i had them tagged his wages( as he never paid anyways) and said... seeeeeeeeeeeee shoulda paid the $75 and called yourself lucky. $100 a week is very easily proved with rent, food, water, electricty clothing etc etc etc Yes, they don't realize that housing, electric, gas, water, gasoline for driving them around, and lots more is increased for the woman when they have a child. And I dont have housing, electric, gas, water, gasoline, clothes to buy, food, extra curric activities etc to do either? And what is this "They" stuff? I had to buy a house with a 2nd bedroom and a yard for my child. That house cost more then a one bedroom. I don't need a yard either. Children mean more clothes to wash and more people taking showers, hence more water, electric and gas. Bigger house - more electric and gas. Yes, the kids make us use more electric - music, video games, computer, lights in more rooms. More food to buy, more toilet paper, more EVERYTHING. I can handle a colder house but my child get colder then me so I have to turn the heat up. My kid has grown 5" in a year - 2x's. Constant growing means constant new clothes. There's personal things to buy - toothpaste, razors, etc. for boy and personal things for the girl and hair stuff, etc. It adds up! Let me see..at my kid's age...$75 basketball team, $75 volleyball team, $50 track team, Scouts, and then summer camps. Photos at school, school lunches, yearbook, school field trips. Then there's the gas for driving them to school and all of those basketball and volleyball games. My kid made State for Track this weekend. That's a 35 mile round trip. I'm thankful it's in my city this year. Wow, my kid has friends. There's birthday presents, movies, bowling and more. I have to drive them there too. Oh, yeah, I have to pay cash for the braces this month. This is just touching the surface of what a child costs and it's for my child's age. I remember the $100/month butt when they were in diapers. Sounds like you need to work a new agreement, there is not one thing you mentioned that I dont have to encounter either You said that you had a two bedroom apartment. I had to get a yard. Children outgrow apartments. There's the sand box, the swing set, basketball hoop, tetherball , and swimming pool (more water and electric). There's the sidewalk out front for bike riding, playing, and roller skating. Those items cost money too. |
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yea right...most men do not even pay child support...I don't even wanna hear it... AMEN!!! I battled mine in court for the $75 a week he was ordered to pay 15 years ago. I never took him back to get it increased.. so when he chose to go to court.. and it was upped to $105 week and he had to pay insurance... i had them tagged his wages( as he never paid anyways) and said... seeeeeeeeeeeee shoulda paid the $75 and called yourself lucky. $100 a week is very easily proved with rent, food, water, electricty clothing etc etc etc Yes, they don't realize that housing, electric, gas, water, gasoline for driving them around, and lots more is increased for the woman when they have a child. And I dont have housing, electric, gas, water, gasoline, clothes to buy, food, extra curric activities etc to do either? And what is this "They" stuff? I had to buy a house with a 2nd bedroom and a yard for my child. That house cost more then a one bedroom. I don't need a yard either. Children mean more clothes to wash and more people taking showers, hence more water, electric and gas. Bigger house - more electric and gas. Yes, the kids make us use more electric - music, video games, computer, lights in more rooms. More food to buy, more toilet paper, more EVERYTHING. I can handle a colder house but my child get colder then me so I have to turn the heat up. My kid has grown 5" in a year - 2x's. Constant growing means constant new clothes. There's personal things to buy - toothpaste, razors, etc. for boy and personal things for the girl and hair stuff, etc. It adds up! Let me see..at my kid's age...$75 basketball team, $75 volleyball team, $50 track team, Scouts, and then summer camps. Photos at school, school lunches, yearbook, school field trips. Then there's the gas for driving them to school and all of those basketball and volleyball games. My kid made State for Track this weekend. That's a 35 mile round trip. I'm thankful it's in my city this year. Wow, my kid has friends. There's birthday presents, movies, bowling and more. I have to drive them there too. Oh, yeah, I have to pay cash for the braces this month. This is just touching the surface of what a child costs and it's for my child's age. I remember the $100/month butt when they were in diapers. Sounds like you need to work a new agreement, there is not one thing you mentioned that I dont have to encounter either You said that you had a two bedroom apartment. I had to get a yard. Children outgrow apartments. There's the sand box, the swing set, basketball hoop, tetherball , and swimming pool (more water and electric). There's the sidewalk out front for bike riding, playing, and roller skating. Those items cost money too. I am not debating your situation, your are missing my point. I dont want to be in this apartment. Utilities are minimal in that expense. The pool would be there anyway with or without child, so would your sidewalk. Thats getting petty |
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Personally, I think that if the child is being taken care of, fed, clothed properly, is healthy and happy, then it's none of your business where and how the money is spent, especially if she is working. I have a much higher standard of living than my ex, I have a better job, better benefits, etc. IF he were paying child support, that money would go to ENHANCING my son's lifestyle to include the extras I currently can't afford. But, even if he did pay child support, it's none of his business how I spend it as long as our child is provided for, whether it's pooled with my money for household expenses or not etc.
Contrary to popular belief among many non-custodial parents, that piddly amount that is generally paid doesn't even cover food, much less anything else. You try it. And, contrary to popular belief, most of us women (usually the primary custodian), support OURSELVES, we have jobs, careers, etc. So, you're not supporting us, you are supporting your children in, hopefully, such a way that THEIR life is minimally disrupted. THAT'S what child support is and should be and if you're going to resent it, there's a very simple solution to the problem, DON'T HAVE KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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Edited by
Winx
on
Tue 05/12/09 06:27 AM
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yea right...most men do not even pay child support...I don't even wanna hear it... AMEN!!! I battled mine in court for the $75 a week he was ordered to pay 15 years ago. I never took him back to get it increased.. so when he chose to go to court.. and it was upped to $105 week and he had to pay insurance... i had them tagged his wages( as he never paid anyways) and said... seeeeeeeeeeeee shoulda paid the $75 and called yourself lucky. $100 a week is very easily proved with rent, food, water, electricty clothing etc etc etc Yes, they don't realize that housing, electric, gas, water, gasoline for driving them around, and lots more is increased for the woman when they have a child. And I dont have housing, electric, gas, water, gasoline, clothes to buy, food, extra curric activities etc to do either? And what is this "They" stuff? I had to buy a house with a 2nd bedroom and a yard for my child. That house cost more then a one bedroom. I don't need a yard either. Children mean more clothes to wash and more people taking showers, hence more water, electric and gas. Bigger house - more electric and gas. Yes, the kids make us use more electric - music, video games, computer, lights in more rooms. More food to buy, more toilet paper, more EVERYTHING. I can handle a colder house but my child get colder then me so I have to turn the heat up. My kid has grown 5" in a year - 2x's. Constant growing means constant new clothes. There's personal things to buy - toothpaste, razors, etc. for boy and personal things for the girl and hair stuff, etc. It adds up! Let me see..at my kid's age...$75 basketball team, $75 volleyball team, $50 track team, Scouts, and then summer camps. Photos at school, school lunches, yearbook, school field trips. Then there's the gas for driving them to school and all of those basketball and volleyball games. My kid made State for Track this weekend. That's a 35 mile round trip. I'm thankful it's in my city this year. Wow, my kid has friends. There's birthday presents, movies, bowling and more. I have to drive them there too. Oh, yeah, I have to pay cash for the braces this month. This is just touching the surface of what a child costs and it's for my child's age. I remember the $100/month butt when they were in diapers. Sounds like you need to work a new agreement, there is not one thing you mentioned that I dont have to encounter either You said that you had a two bedroom apartment. I had to get a yard. Children outgrow apartments. There's the sand box, the swing set, basketball hoop, tetherball , and swimming pool (more water and electric). There's the sidewalk out front for bike riding, playing, and roller skating. Those items cost money too. I am not debating your situation, your are missing my point. I dont want to be in this apartment. Utilities are minimal in that expense. The pool would be there anyway with or without child, so would your sidewalk. Thats getting petty I bought the pool for the child. I don't swim much. They do. I would have a parking lot instead of a sidewalk if I had an apartment. Not petty - it all adds up. My electric sure does increase when I plug that pool in for the summer. I have baby sitter costs too. The only reason that I bought a computer is because my child needs it for school. |
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I'd be happy to get the +$1600. I pay out each month and live in the house with my kids.
Note: that total includes more than child support due to financial arrangements/agreements. But it all changes. My oldest turns 18 next month, and my earnings are being cut at work so what I pay out will be reduced a bit soon. |
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Edited by
Foliel
on
Tue 05/12/09 09:47 AM
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I can understand both sides here, my mom raised me on her own. My real father wanted nothing to do with me, my mom never received child support. I have lived in an apartment for 85% of my life and I was fine with that. Tho this day, if I ever met my real father, I don't know that I would care. I never knew him, he ran off as soon as my mom told him she was pregnant.
I was an expensive kid too lol, but I tried my best as I got older to understand that my mom couldn't get me everything I wanted. At the same time, I know some parent's that receive child support and the money does not go on the child. They should have to account for what they spend the money on since the parent paying child support, isn't doing it so that the custodial parent can go out and have a good time. |
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any ol' guy can be a father
but it takes a special man to be a daddy |
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any ol' guy can be a father but it takes a special man to be a daddy So true. I do feel bad for Jim.....who's obviously being a daddy, and has his child so very close to 1/2 time and still has to pay child support. Does sound like he's getting a raw deal. It's per the norm here....things (laws and rules) get changed to support the majority of what's happening at that time period, but it doesn't always favor the minority....who are usually the good guys. |
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I remember a story of my dad being taken to court by his ex wife...........saying he hadn't payed child support blah blah blah.....and all he had to do was walk into court, show his canceled checks and the judge threw it all out....along with a disgusted warning to the ex for wasting his time.
What really stinks in all of this is the fact that we all as adults can't work out agreements and stick to them like mature adults. Then the courts would never have to be involved. Only in a perfect world I guess. |
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