i am the single mother to a 4yr old handsome grown man. well, his father just got in his life christmas eve and he has only seen him 3 times since then. well, we all was getting along until his now girlfriend was online pretending to be him to see if we was sleeping together. well after that she told me she didnt want my son anywhere near her and didnt want my son in her house. all of sudden he wants my son to spend the night with them i just dont know about that am i wrong for telling him no to overnight stay

unless he isn't allowed unsupervised visits, there really isn't much you can do. You can't keep the father away unless it's court ordered. sorry you are going through this. have you spoken to the father about what is going on?

A four year old grown man? Errrr, have you ever heard the term oxymoron?

On a more serious note, whatever you decide, it is in the best interest of the child to develop some kind of schedule and not subject him to some kind of emotional ping pong game.

i havent stop him from seeing him i just stopped the overnight visit. yea i have talked to his father about it and all he can say is it's her house nothing he can say

i'd think that if he's only recently got to meet his son, and has only seen him 3 times since then, regardless of the girlfriend, i'd be hesitant to allow overnight visits.

i'm assuming since he's only just shown up on the scene that you have full custody and can refuse overnight stays?

i have full custody of my son. the last time he seen his son was the day he was born and then he pop up christmas last year

I would not send him on over night visits until I was made to by the courts...and something tells me he will not be pushing it...

Your son's father is like a stranger to your son. They have only seen each other four times. I think it would be traumatic for a 4 yr. old to spend the night at a stranger's home.

All these ladies are right.....the child is 4 yrs old and will be surround by people he doesn't know and one that apparently doesn't even want him in their home.

Your son is going to be scared, why bother putting him through something like that.

i think it will do more harm then help if i send him to this man that once said thats not my son. his father keeps saying im a crazy *** ***** for leaving him and i don't know what he might do he tried to kill me when i was pregnant for leaving and i just dont know he say he change but then again he said he change when we was together

if you have full legal custody...then yes you have the right. I can imagine what you must be going through. Protecting your child is utmost. if you go to court for a new custody agreement....be sure to bring up any concerns you have

Regardless of fairness or unfairness the law is blind and an A$$ sometimes

It would be very difficult for the court to stop a father from seeing his child unless you can prove abuse or you can get the lady to say publicly she does not want the child in her house .
So then the man has to decide if he wants that child more or the woman. As the house is hers then my guess is the father would want the house more.

Good luck

I wouldn't let him spend the night... if he has no legal custody agreement, there's nothing he can do. I would severely question why he would choose to be with a woman that doesn't want his son at HER house.
I promise that if I was living with a guy, and he didn't want my child at his house... my reaction would NOT be, well it's his house so there's nothing I can do.

My daughter's "father" wants her to get on a plane and fly to see him and his new gf in texas.
Not happening...

Do you really want an honest answer or do you want a pretty version of what you want to hear?
By what I read above, it sounds like she found out that you were sleeping with him?? correct me if I am wrong. but why else would she have gotten so angry at the end of the conversation.

If so..
Your son is being used as a pawn by both of you. and I can't blame the now girlfriend for being very upset.
You need to think about your son first, clearly this guy is a real piece of work.
let the sons relationship with his father be based just on that. (((JUST))) about their relationship.

question: were the two of you married when the kiddo was born, or not? is the father on the birth certificate? depending upon where you live, these things can drastically change whether or not you have to allow your baby to stay the night.

here, if you are unmarried when the child enters the world and he's NOT on the birth certificate, the father would have to prove paternity before having any legal rights. and if you were married to someone else, your husband at the time's rights would trump the biological father's. in some states, the longer a non-custodial parent has been away from their child, the less chance of receiving visitation.

i would personally want to make certain my kiddo got to know their father a bit BEFORE an over-night. visitations would need to be supervised, depending on the experience and character of the man. child-care is not a skill you're born with, heh.

whatever happens, i hope it's in the best interest of your little man...

i never slept with him after we broke up cause of two reason i didnt want to and b/c he lives in kansas and i live in alabama. plus if you see him now you would say eeewww

Thanks for the correction!

I wouldnt want my kid anywhere near her either

she sounds like a hoochie momma

It sounds like your ex doesn't have any guts to stand up to his current girlfriend. If this is her house then I still don't understand because that boy is still part of him...if she loves the man she should love his child.
I don't think you should send your son for an overnight visit, he does not even know his father. Plus you have no clue what the girlfriend might do, she sounds a little whacked. If she is that jealous of your ex with you, how is she going to be with your son?
Your duty is to keep your son safe and I think the safest place at night is with YOU. Good Luck