There's no easy way to start this story, so I'm just gonna jump straight into it. I'm back in Australia now, have been back for about a month or so.

Well I had my passport stolen in Macau (along with my whole bag while I was in an arcade). Unfortunately I was in Macau to renew my visa. No passport, no visa, no extension and I can't even get back to the mainland. I file the passport as stolen, talk to the cops who get me to Hong Kong and then the Aussie embassy in HK to get an emergency passport. With emergency passport in hand (it's like 3 pages) I stride confidently back into the mainland and give my new passport to my employer. 2 weeks later I get fired and they forget to return my passport. After I got fired I moved city (form Zhuhai to Guangzhou) to join my friend teaching at her school. Now, getting a new passport in a foreign country is hell, especially when you have 2 other passports flagged as lost or stolen. It took me about 6 months to get all my **** and signatures in order and get it filed away and paid for. After I got my passport back I had been jobless/homeless for a few months so I though to myself "whelp, gonna leave china now and continue my studies." I move city again, and then again and go the visa offices. Now you may think the people at your local DMV or bank are unhelpful. They are nothing compared to the ***** who sit behind the desks at the visa offices...

Now I spent about 3 months in and out of those offices, all the time with about 6,000RMB in my wallet ready to pay the fine. I had to travel to different cities to get pieces of paper saying I didn't work for my previous employers. I had to get papers of residence (which is impossible when you don't have a visa cause people won't rent to you without one and no way will they put down a foreigners name on the lease cause they have to pay more tax). Photocopies of everything, twice and before you can get your visa put though you need to buy a ticket back to your home country to show them. I went through 2 tickets in these 3 months and so much more in travel. Also, their English sucks balls. All the time I was asking when can I pay my fine, later they say, always later. I started getting pissed off at them and started to call every day.

One day I call and they put my officer on the phone (one of the rare times he was even in the office) and he tells me "Come into my office at 2pm on Wednesday, we're putting you in detention" Great. So I rock up there at 2pm, they make me sit in a room until 5pm and then cuff me and take me into a paddy wagon and drive to the detention. I had to take out all my piercings (2 in lip, one in eyebrow and tongue) go though a medical check and change into a prison uniform. Then they threw me in my cell, I was not alone. We had 13 guys to a small room. 11 of my feet wide my 25 long, including bathroom, which was a hole in the ground, our shower was a bucket. Luckily the dudes I were in with were all nice but it doesn't stop it from being a bad time.

For breakfast we would have congee, which is watery rice. Lunch was rice with a vegetable (normally cabbage) and dinner was rice with a meat that you would not feed a dog. We couldn’t sleep unless it was a designated sleeping time. We got afternoon naps. We were never let outside, we weren't allowed to smoke, the only thing we could drink was warm water. We slept on the floor, you were given a beach towel you could use as a mattress or blanket, your choice. No privacy, **** food and no exceptions. I saw a guy get a face full of capsicum spray for refusing to eat the **** they gave us. Every morning we'd have to fold out towels and spare clothes military style. Then we'd recite the rules of the detention, in bad English. Followed be breakfast, then exercise, then inspection and marching practice. Lunch, afternoon nap, rules, marching practice, inspection, dinner, sleep. Guangzhou is hot in summer, really damn hot. We weren't allowed to take off our thick cotton shirts to cool down and there was no air con. The guards would swear at you in what English they had and if you were seen doing anything slightly out of the ordinary you'd be punished. That was my life for 23 days.

The most **** thing about the whole businesses that they still fined me 5,000RMB, made me pay for my Visa and plane tickets. Money I had all while I was out of jail, for the 3 months I was trying to fix everything. They shortened my sentence as "a show of goodwill" but I later learned that if I hadn't had the money they would have upped my fine, upped my jail time to 60 days and done an investigation to try and get more **** on me. If after that 60 days I still didn't have my money they could keep me there as long as they wanted. Some guys have been in there for 2 or more years because they just can't get the money together. We were only given 1 call a week at the discretion of the warden. And this could be taken away so easily, and it was always the first form of punishment. We also weren't allowed a phone call until we had been in there for 14 days.

In the end I got out, as you guys can imagine. Got back to Australia about a month ago now. It's good to be back and I don't think I'll ever go back to China again. Ever for all the great stories and great times I had there with friends and ladies, I can't bring myself to go back to a country who does that to a person who’s only crime is staying there without a piece of paper to say I'm allowed to be in there. I mean jesus, I was teaching them English for less than a thousand dollars a month when I first arrived and this is what they do to me.

So yea, that's the story.

Also, I forgot to mention this. I wasn't allowed to swing by my friends house on the way to the airport meaning I couldn’t get any of my stuff. I had one pair of clothes, my MP3 player, my phone, wallet, bag and passport on me. I have a wardrobe of clothes; an EeePC; a PSP; some figurines; 3 decks of expensive playing cards; portable hard drive full of music, porn and movies, cut throat razor, expensive badgers hair brush and so much more just sitting in China. I haven't been able to contact my friend for 3 weeks to get it all back (even when I'm paying for the shipping). I spent 2 and a half years in that country and I didn't have a shirt or pair of pants to my name when I came back home.

Wow. That's a hell of an ordeal you went through! Glad to hear you made it out OK! International travel can turn into a nightmare real fast.

Stay safe.

Geez! I don't think I'll ever go to China.

I never said people shouldn't go to China. If you find yourself in the same position as me (visa wise) and are in South China don't go to Guangzhou. Go to Shenzhen, they're much better.

I still had a fantastic time in China, it was a great 2 and a half years, I got a lot of stories form it, a lot of good times and a lot of bad.

Just gotta learn from your own experiences, and I have. I'm now the most chill and easygoing person ever :P

I see rights to a movie ,..

what a nightmere,...

going through something like that would definitely change your person,..

glad you made it back to tell your story

I wish, couldn't even get on the news... I've had more horror stories than that. Was tortured in my own apartment, been homeless twice...

but, on the other hand, I had a great gob, made a lot of money, met a lot of interesting people, had some fantastic girlfriends and discovered myself as a person.

A little bit of negative puts a lot into perspective, and I've always believed that you can't really appreciate what you have until you've had nothing.

So the point is

Don't let your stuff get stolen; keep important papers on your body, not in a bag; think of all the bad things that can happen in a foreign country & maybe the grass isn't always greeneroutside of your home country.

We all make choices, some of mine haven't worked out right either.

Sorry for your pain

Wow! If you write a book I'll buy it. What a story! See, I get nervous when I go through the checkpoint at the California/Arizona border and they ask you if you have any fruit!

a little bit of negative ? lol

I totally agree with that statement about not really appreciating what you have until you have nothing,..

I really feel for you. Being in a foreign country alone, you need to be really careful, and read the guidelines for visa policies and don't get documents stolen.

I'm a Chinese student who studies in America. The visa policy towards the non-Americans are tough, although I come here legally as a student. International students are required to carry passports and student forms whenever we travel within 300 miles within the US borders. So basically we have to carry it wherever we travel in the US.

strange isn't it?

that they are so strict on legal entrants and so lax on the illegal ones

God Bless AMerica.. huh?
being military for over 20 years went to alot of countries.. and all i ever heard was

AMERICANO PIG GO HOME.

when i got to Leanardo Di VI airport in Italy. they REfused to stamp my passport........ so i can Truly appreciate your story.. kiddo.. my moto is now
home is where the heart is...
USA

Well geez...no porn, a hairbrush or expensive playing cards. Where are their priorities. Sometimes, it's best to let go of some things. Just watch your back next time.

My brother went to Cambodia a couple weeks ago and had some travellers hell to go through. His GF broke up with him (he was over there with her) so he started traveling with a pair of travellers he met up with who were also from Canada. He got his camera and phone stolen then had trouble at customs but ended up back at home safe and sound... just short a gf, camera and phone

Is your screen name a Philip K. Dick reference?

I'm not surprised.

Would you like Chinese or Cambodian military in USA? I mean, stations all over, with armed Chinese with tanks and planes.