Previous 1
Topic: Single With Kids
leander67's photo
Wed 10/07/09 03:14 AM
This Debate has been on my mind for quite sometime; maybe you can help me out and sort through.

Should, or would you date a Single Parent with children living at home?

Being a single father myself I was told, that some women would consider me off limits, because I think that I want the woman to come in be "an instant mom" to my child. On the other hand some women find it attractive that I took on the role of raising a child alone.

I know that single mothers go through the same thing, maybe worse. In certain cases she might date a man who has no experience in child rearing, which leads to problems. In certain cases the man might look away from the mother, because he doesn't want to raise another man's child.

But I think the scariest part for a male is; if the mother has many children by different fathers.

One of the greatest fears I think is; is the other parent still in the picture.

But would you date a single parent with children?

papersmile's photo
Wed 10/07/09 03:23 AM
sure i'd date someone who had children, since i do also.

it'd probably be best if the kids were of similar ages so that we were all interested and able to do stuff together. it would also be nice if the visitation with the other parent coincided so that the two adults could have some alone time.

i'm not much into having a guy come over to the house and meet my children. i don't really want their memory of mom to be of her getting dressed up to go out with guys and leave them at home. i'd rather their memories of me be the smell of warm cookies coming from the kitchen.

i don't buy into people thinking the person wants an automatic parent for their kid. i'd be content with a partner treating them as a friend, being a good role model, and enforcing already-established rules.

FearandLoathing's photo
Wed 10/07/09 03:24 AM
Can't stand kids...I've dated women with kids, not a "almighty" deal breaker. Of course my only stipulation is I don't do stupid...

PATSFAN's photo
Wed 10/07/09 03:26 AM
I don't like kids either

525GeminiGirl's photo
Wed 10/07/09 03:27 AM
I am a sole custodial parent to 3 children all from the same father :)...Divorced 5 years and have dated men with and with out children.I do not believe that me being a single parent has ever interfered with "getting" a date and/or starting a relationship too !!

I personally admire anyone who is a single parent and would welcome them into my life!!

Good Luck

no photo
Wed 10/07/09 03:28 AM

This Debate has been on my mind for quite sometime; maybe you can help me out and sort through.

Should, or would you date a Single Parent with children living at home?

Being a single father myself I was told, that some women would consider me off limits, because I think that I want the woman to come in be "an instant mom" to my child. On the other hand some women find it attractive that I took on the role of raising a child alone.

I know that single mothers go through the same thing, maybe worse. In certain cases she might date a man who has no experience in child rearing, which leads to problems. In certain cases the man might look away from the mother, because he doesn't want to raise another man's child.

But I think the scariest part for a male is; if the mother has many children by different fathers.

One of the greatest fears I think is; is the other parent still in the picture.

But would you date a single parent with children?



I have. There were problems. Not sure I would repeat this unless the children are older or grown.

aLittleBird's photo
Wed 10/07/09 04:03 AM
I wouldn't now...my kids are grown and on their own now!!

:banana: :banana: :banana: :banana: :banana:

Englishrose2's photo
Wed 10/07/09 04:09 AM
When you heart is given then you have to accept what comes with the person you have fallen for we all have pasts and yeah it aint easy at times but if you both have found happiness with each other then you have to accept what they bring to a new relationship. Anna x

greeneyedlady42's photo
Wed 10/07/09 04:23 AM
For me dating dating a singe parent hasnt been the issue, there are certain aspects of a "blended family" that are difficult. Raising children alone is not easy I dont care who you are. My conflict was when to introduce that special someone into your kids life.
It is my opinion that mmy kids didnt need to meet or be around everyone I dated righ toff the bat. And thank God for that rule of wisdom because some did turn out so well.
For me a father who has taken on the single paretn role shows dedication and selfless love. It would be a gold star for me.

catseyes1's photo
Wed 10/07/09 04:42 AM
Of course I would, single parents deserve happiness too. Even though they have a child does not change their needs and wants. And for me being a single parent I did not let my child meet who I was dating until everything was comfortable and it turned into a relationship.

mssilverfox's photo
Wed 10/07/09 04:54 AM
At my age, only if the children are grown.. I raised my own 4 and helped my second husband raise 2 of his 3( wife died and one child grown already) children..Also helped with my gkids.. Now I just want some time for me...

GESpiritWolf's photo
Wed 10/07/09 05:18 AM
Children. That is a subject in which stands to be a difficult one. Meaning only this, it is not the child you are dating. Children are meant to be considered with a full, protective heart for they are the innocent ones.

If you are having difficult in deciding on a date because they have children, then it may be that they are not ready for you, or you for them.

The real answer to this question is, "Are you ready"? If the sparks fly, you find yourself smiling and desiring to be with the mother/father who has raised the beat of your heart, then and only then shall the children be a matter to the both of you.

Children have to deal with their world in an upside down view when they see their world changing and one parent is not there for them, or a parent who is absent in their home. It is what they began with and what they believed to be right. And no longer is. What of their hearts pain?

I raised two beautiful daughters as a single dad and that was not an easy task. Many challenges are there for us as single parents, and they are not easy when you so deeply desire to have what is missing as the other half to share the joys, the anguish, the dreams and all the tears from the mending that becomes a part of going the next step.

There is so much more to consider when children are a major part of dreams desired by us as parents. We are the ones they look up to and it is we who they depend on in doing what is right. That leaves us in another issue. The protective shield we place over our hearts. I'm sure you all know what I mean on this one. (Hint) The ones who use our children and the love we have for them as a tool of deceit.

Many Blessings,
SpiritWolf

no photo
Wed 10/07/09 09:53 AM

But would you date a single parent with children?


No.

I did when I was younger, and found out that it's not for me.


Gossipmpm's photo
Wed 10/07/09 09:56 AM
No!!!

My kids are grown

If his are young and still at home

No!!!

I like it to be me and him time!!!:heart:


lilith401's photo
Wed 10/07/09 09:59 AM
If there exist people in the world that can provide my child with more love than he already has, so be it. I know I could do the same for others.

Selfish people don't do kids well.

Their loss, as I know I had no concept of what love meant until I experienced the love of and from my son. It truly transcended anything else in my life.

SgtBilly's photo
Wed 10/07/09 10:00 AM

Children. That is a subject in which stands to be a difficult one. Meaning only this, it is not the child you are dating. Children are meant to be considered with a full, protective heart for they are the innocent ones.

If you are having difficult in deciding on a date because they have children, then it may be that they are not ready for you, or you for them.

The real answer to this question is, "Are you ready"? If the sparks fly, you find yourself smiling and desiring to be with the mother/father who has raised the beat of your heart, then and only then shall the children be a matter to the both of you.

Children have to deal with their world in an upside down view when they see their world changing and one parent is not there for them, or a parent who is absent in their home. It is what they began with and what they believed to be right. And no longer is. What of their hearts pain?

I raised two beautiful daughters as a single dad and that was not an easy task. Many challenges are there for us as single parents, and they are not easy when you so deeply desire to have what is missing as the other half to share the joys, the anguish, the dreams and all the tears from the mending that becomes a part of going the next step.

There is so much more to consider when children are a major part of dreams desired by us as parents. We are the ones they look up to and it is we who they depend on in doing what is right. That leaves us in another issue. The protective shield we place over our hearts. I'm sure you all know what I mean on this one. (Hint) The ones who use our children and the love we have for them as a tool of deceit.

Many Blessings,
SpiritWolf


DIDO! i agree smile

no photo
Wed 10/07/09 10:05 AM
Yes, I would date someone with kids. I don't have any of my own, but I wouldn't let it stop me from dating someone who had kids.

no photo
Wed 10/07/09 10:06 AM

If there exist people in the world that can provide my child with more love than he already has, so be it. I know I could do the same for others.

Selfish people don't do kids well.

Their loss, as I know I had no concept of what love meant until I experienced the love of and from my son. It truly transcended anything else in my life.
flowerforyou drinker

Beavis31's photo
Wed 10/07/09 10:12 AM
Im gonna be honest and say yes it matters i am not trying to offend or judge anyone(yes that is my disclaimer not to get ripped on) but for me personally i would have a hard time entering a relationship if a woman hard three or four kids at home.... as i would think the opposite to be true. having kids makes a difference when dating and should be a high determining fator in choosing whom you got out with.

Beavis31's photo
Wed 10/07/09 10:15 AM
Im gonna be honest and say yes it matters i am not trying to offend or judge anyone(yes that is my disclaimer not to get ripped on) but for me personally i would have a hard time entering a relationship if a woman hard three or four kids at home.... as i would think the opposite to be true. having kids makes a difference when dating and should be a high determining fator in choosing whom you got out with.

Previous 1