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| Topic: what do you think? | |
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OK... so this is what's going on with my friend...
She got drunk one night, months ago. Her and her husband were having problems at the time. Her ex tries to make out with her... she kisses him back but then pushes him off and tells him it's wrong and she can't do this. She goes home, confesses to her husband what happened. He forgives her, life moves on. Tonight, we're all out together drinking. HE does a shot out of some random woman's breasts right in front of his wife. She gets all pissed about it. He says that's what she gets for making out with her ex. Now they're in a huge fight over it. My point was that she knew it was wrong at the time, she confessed, he forgave her, so he shouldn't be bring it up and trying to get even with her. He says he had the right to do it since she made out with another man. So... what do you think? Did he have the right to do it? Knowing it would upset her? |
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No he didn't. He was being an azz. I'd recommend couples therapy or else they'll be one-upping each other as payback and probably a divorce.
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HE DID'NT DO IT BEHIND HER BACK.SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE IS DEALING WITH.
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Sounds like they deserve each other. Two wrongs won't make a right. Forgiveness may be a bit much to expect with out some sort of payback. Is it childish to be resentful. And use it for and excuse? Yes but that is kind of the pot calling the kettle black. This relationship is in serious trouble. Not unexpected when you fratinize with Ex's and are going out and getting drunk in a bar with women passing shots from their breasts. That was asking for trouble. Sounds like they are both looking for and out. I will be surprised if this relationship makes it much past Christmas if that long. I agree. 
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I think that he was wrong to rub it in by doing what he did. And, I am willing to bet that he didn't think about what she did (months ago) up until she got upset about him taking the shot from the girls breasts. Once she got upset, he then remembered what she did, and BAM.....now it is all about vindication. Who wins here? Neither.
Yeah, she was wrong for the kiss, but she did confess and he did forgive her. Or, he said he did. Seems that he didn't mean it, else he would have been not tried to vindicate himself. |
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that was pretty childish of him
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No he didn't. He was being an azz. I'd recommend couples therapy or else they'll be one-upping each other as payback and probably a divorce. 
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People sometimes do stupid things when they're drunk.. It's not excuse.. At least she was honest with him, apparently she cared enough to stop what was going wrong and admit to her husband what happened... Now he's being an azz and trying to pay her back... That's passive aggressive and he'll do it again b/c he's not over it no matter what he said to her...
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And on another note.....How come I never get to do a shot out of some random chick's boob?
 
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Edited by
MelodyGirl
on
Sun 11/01/09 01:09 AM
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Are they still in high school?
 He was wrong to hold that over her head after they resolved the issue. He is harboring resentment and if he can't get over it -- they should part ways completely. That was really childish of him. Games, games, games.  |
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Edited by
Wolf19
on
Sun 11/01/09 01:07 AM
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And on another note.....How come I never get to do a shot out of some random chick's boob? 
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OK... so this is what's going on with my friend... She got drunk one night, months ago. Her and her husband were having problems at the time. Her ex tries to make out with her... she kisses him back but then pushes him off and tells him it's wrong and she can't do this. She goes home, confesses to her husband what happened. He forgives her, life moves on. Tonight, we're all out together drinking. HE does a shot out of some random woman's breasts right in front of his wife. She gets all pissed about it. He says that's what she gets for making out with her ex. Now they're in a huge fight over it. My point was that she knew it was wrong at the time, she confessed, he forgave her, so he shouldn't be bring it up and trying to get even with her. He says he had the right to do it since she made out with another man. So... what do you think? Did he have the right to do it? Knowing it would upset her?  he was very inappropriate and immature
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And on another note.....How come I never get to do a shot out of some random chick's boob? "sigh"....Balls!
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Hummmmmm---it will never last. All though, some soap opera's last a long time---but not this one!
 
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1) you would have to look at things form his point of view to determine what right and wrong in this scenario because she was with her ex while her husband wasnt around witch is a lot worse than what he did to her bacause he did it i front of her... theres a big difference sure she got jealous but she knows exactly what happened and he only knows what she wants him to know
2) he was a big person for forgiving her and staying because he didnt know if she slept with her ex or not ...he took her word for it and that isnt ez she basicly cheated on him by kissing her ex 3)she should exept the fact that she did it to him first and swallow it if she wouldnt have done that to him he probably wouldnt have done that to her... plain and simple... or maybe he should have just said that he doesnt want to be with her no more because she cheated 4) her honesty accounts for absolutley nothing because what she did went against his trust for her and she should at least consider the possibility that maybe some where in the back of his mind he might feel like a fool and she did that to him i hope this helps you understand how wrong it is to do that to some one that trusts you |
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He had no business disrespecting her if he loves her AND his excuse was weak. Her indiscretion was the result of someone else initiating an inappropriate action, quite different from him chosing to do what he did with some random girl.
She had no business being too pissy about it considering her own past but it would have been more mature to take a moment to think about what the real problem is and try to resolve it. |
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Edited by
MelodyGirl
on
Sun 11/01/09 01:26 AM
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1) you would have to look at things form his point of view to determine what right and wrong in this scenario because she was with her ex while her husband wasnt around witch is a lot worse than what he did to her bacause he did it i front of her... theres a big difference sure she got jealous but she knows exactly what happened and he only knows what she wants him to know 2) he was a big person for forgiving her and staying because he didnt know if she slept with her ex or not ...he took her word for it and that isnt ez she basicly cheated on him by kissing her ex 3)she should exept the fact that she did it to him first and swallow it if she wouldnt have done that to him he probably wouldnt have done that to her... plain and simple... or maybe he should have just said that he doesnt want to be with her no more because she cheated 4) her honesty accounts for absolutley nothing because what she did went against his trust for her and she should at least consider the possibility that maybe some where in the back of his mind he might feel like a fool and she did that to him i hope this helps you understand how wrong it is to do that to some one that trusts you So, the logic is –- once someone forgives you for a transgression (not just this type of situation but anything) that gives you a free pass to “get even”? Wow! That is so childish. You either forgive or you don’t and pulling a “neener, neener, neener” is destructive because the cycle won’t end. I think we can all agree she was wrong in cheating but that is not the discussion here. The discussion is -- was he an azzzz for pulling that crap even though he said he forgave her. Yes -- he is an azzzz. He didn't really forgive her. |
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This marriage won't last. Too much high school stuff going on
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1) you would have to look at things form his point of view to determine what right and wrong in this scenario because she was with her ex while her husband wasnt around witch is a lot worse than what he did to her bacause he did it i front of her... theres a big difference sure she got jealous but she knows exactly what happened and he only knows what she wants him to know 2) he was a big person for forgiving her and staying because he didnt know if she slept with her ex or not ...he took her word for it and that isnt ez she basicly cheated on him by kissing her ex 3)she should exept the fact that she did it to him first and swallow it if she wouldnt have done that to him he probably wouldnt have done that to her... plain and simple... or maybe he should have just said that he doesnt want to be with her no more because she cheated 4) her honesty accounts for absolutley nothing because what she did went against his trust for her and she should at least consider the possibility that maybe some where in the back of his mind he might feel like a fool and she did that to him i hope this helps you understand how wrong it is to do that to some one that trusts you So, the logic is –- once someone forgives you for a transgression (not just this type of situation but anything) that gives you a free pass to “get even”? Wow! That is so childish. You either forgive or you don’t and pulling a “neener, neener, neener” is destructive because the cycle won’t end. I think we can all agree she was wrong in cheating but that is not the discussion here. The discussion is -- was he an azzzz for pulling that crap even though he said he forgave her. Yes -- he is an azzzz. He didn't really forgive her. I concur.... Not much else to say.. You either go by your word or you don't... Right or wrong on her part, he "said" he forgave her... You don't go back on that unless you never meant it... Either way the relationship is doomed from the looks of it... |
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OK... so I just found out more to this story. Apparently it was the ex that paid for the shot out of the woman's boobs... he even paid her 20 bucks to do it.
My thought on it is that he thought he would have this woman do this shot and purposly cause a fight between his ex and her huband, hopefully that she would come crying back to him. He's such a childish slime bag. |
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