I met a man with two sons 23, 25 living at home. We have dated for a few months now. I have introduced him to my 15 year old child and welcomed him into my home. I still have not been invited to his home and do not know where he lives. He tells me I can look it up in the phone book, its no secret. I ask why have I not been invited to his home and he tells me he is protecting his boys. He is not ready to introduce them to anyone yet as he is still married.

He has told me he has a divorce going on. Has lived apart from his wife for 5 years now. So why is it an issue that I not be invited to his home? Is he really filing for a divorce? has he? does she still live there? what do you all think of this? he tells me he is in love with me and does not want to lose me. To me his children are grown adults not babies. Why is it an issue for me to go there?

YOu have any clues or insight for me?

Have you looked him up in the phone book?

Why is he protecting his boys? They are growen *** men, They should act like it, However they still live at home with daddy so there's some sort of lazyness there. IMO. It also sounds like he babys them too much. That is something to be leary about.

It sounds like he hiding something. Find him in the phone book and pay a suprise visit. Judge his reaction, and then make you decision on if he is hiding something or not.

At least thats what I would do.

You're being played. Dump him and move on.

Um, I wouldn't go to the house, if he's still married, wifey might be around, and if some strange woman showed up at my house looking for my husband, there'd be some serious trouble. He's not worth the drama, he's a liar and a liar can't be trusted. Why degrade yourself over someone so useless?

You already know the answers to your questions

If milk smells rotten, it's most likely spoiled..........

Sorry, it sounds like he is still married.

You deserve much better than that. I would move on and find someone a bit more honest and open.

you can walk or play the player

Well said.

his boys are grown they dont need to be protected like that if they were children i would think twice but there not, and sense he has not invited you to his home hes hiding something.. very secertive person. why dont you look up his address and go over there without him knowing and see what kind expression you get.. as for him to tell you he loves you, well he may in his own way. but there is a BIG trust issue. as for him telling you hes going through a divorce well i dont know about that. for when my ex hubby and i were spararted and before our divorce was final he told his 2nd wife that we were already divorced which we were not. and i told her that. i knew what kind of guy he was he was a cronic lyer and player and im sure hes still doing that to his 2nd wife. and this guy your with is palying you like a fool

well I guess I'm a little different. I'd go just laugh when he got busted for all the lying.

But I'm just an *** like that.

Divorce decrees and filed divorces are public records so you can simply go to the court house in your area and check with the clerk of courts to see if there were any actions filed...Honestly sounds like ******** to me.... I know this sounds like a cop out, maybe he isn't ready to leave his wife...not because he doesn't want to be with you but because divorce means huge change and acknowledgment of probably the biggest failure in our lives. Im struggling with it myself right now...I'm not see anybody else but, lets face it, i wouldn't be here if I wasn't at least considering it...So good luck...just a suggestion - try to understand the situation...even though it seems like he's trying to get the best of both worlds (and maybe he is I don't know him) if he's a type A personality like me...we HATE to fail at anything and even though we know its over...acknowledging it in the form of a divorce makes it much more true. Be well.

my ex hubby got busted all the time for lying
especially when i let a friend of mine stay with us when she was having issue in her marriage and i was pg with my son, and my ex hubby(this was before we got married) tried to get down her pants all nite and the next morn she had a class to go to and she called me to let me know what happen, i confronted him while i was still on the phone with her and he was laughing over it, i told him i belive her more than i belive you. for she wouldnt lie to me
he didnt say much for he know he was caught

Why in hell's sake would you even contemplate this situation?

Does this sound healthy or honest?

If a friend told you of this same story, wouldn't you tell her to run away and not look back?

Drama, deceit, complications, and red flags!!

I'm sure there are better men out there somewhere. Don't settle for dysfunction.

Move on ....

Hummm as they say if it walks like a duck and sounds like a duck 99.9% chance it is a duck..........

He says he loves ya but then want introduce ya to his boys which are grown hummm sounds like bs to me.

Sure when my kids were little I dated someone for at least 2 months before they met my kids. But my kids are grown the same age as his kids and if I was in-love with someone I would not have a problem introducing them.

Think there is a woodchuck in the wood pile...

I would dump him. Why is he trying to protect his kids? They're old enough to be out on their own... I'm years younger than them and am on my own..

don'walk, run

Sounds like this creep is hoping you will go to his house and make a scean so he can say it is all you, and you are a stalker, to save his own butt.

While you are there if you don't get beat up it is highly likely that you could be arrested.

Chances are his adult children don't live at home at all. He just doesn't want them to know he is a dirtbag.

He is having fun playing hide and seek and you are making a fool out of yourself.

Hope to God you don't think you are the only one he is screwing around with because I would put good money on the table to bet you aren't. Be sure and tell your Doctor to check you for STD's if you are being sexually active with this poor excuse for a husband and Father.

The chance that you & he has done a lot of damage to your reputation exists but I am more worried he could destroy you financially as a single parent because this is not the type who will do his share. No man is better than this snake.

Wow, maybe its exactly as he says.

A co-workers divorce took over three yrs to happen, with six figure lawyers' fees too.

When your kids-no matter how old they are, meet the new girlfriend, its sets different wheels in motion. The divorce is 'really real' Dad is moving on and has a new woman-NOT MOM....it's can be very weird. How could you love anyone but Mom?.....thats the ONLY intimate relationship they have ever seen you in, even if its a bad one.

Could be he is protective about his space, his house, maybe the kids are pigs and he won't clean up after them...any number of things could be going on here.