Final straw. He's buying a couple of lake lots and putting a house up. And he'll "kindly" buy me 2 acres for my pigs and the turkeys but it will be about 1 mile inland. Of course he intends to flip the place in a year or two when the economy turns. After he buys his boat.

Ummm no. That's not what we talked about. I have no interest in that. So we are done.

And I'm upset but will get over it.

I'm sorry. You seem like you are just fed up, and I sure know the feeling. Express it, but be cautious to vent in a way that is constructive and won't be detrimental to you.

Hummmm so now he agrees to buy property to put your animals on and its over?

Okay thought that is what you wanted........at times some areas will not let you have those type of animals within certain areas........I mean it was not like he was asking you to get rid of them instead he did what it seemed would make you both happy......

Any who good luck......

Because I would still be leaving the horse, cows and goats. 2 acres can't handle that many animals. 10 acres would be tough.

He's gone from 50 acres and country to lake lots and 2 acres. He made that decision, not "we". He has basically ignored and negated everything we have discussed and talked about over the past 4 months. He is doing it his way.

And as its his money, he is free to. But then he needs to find a woman who is willing to let him. I'm not. I'm not willing to be unhappy because I can't walk out and mess with the critters.

Been there, done that, not doing it again.

How about downsizing to a one of each or something?
If there is no compromise, then yes, I guess it would be over. Sorry to hear that.

Ohhhhhhhhh okay now I understand did not realize how many animals you had or that he had said 50 acres at first then downsized to fit his needs only.......Makes sense now

Don't blame ya got to be happy yourself as well or things would never work out.............

She shouldn't have to "downsize." My guess is that she has been "downsizing" for most of her life. She deserves to be happy and to expect to have her wants and needs met.
Sorry, don't mean to talk about you like you aren't here, ma'am.

Did you ask him why he changed his mind?

Well I see nothing wrong with compromising to attain a common goal, which would be having both parties needs met. However, it doesn't sound that like is the case here.

I'm sorry it ended in such a way Equus.....

Heather, would you downsize to one kid if it wasn't convienent? These animals are my pets and family members. They keep the property in shape but aren't going to be eaten. I was petting one of the goats yesterday and got slurped on the cheek by one of the steers, Wide Eyes.

:-). He knew this going in. I have in my profile that I won't compromise on the animals.

Txs, yes. He essentially pulled a 180 on me from what we talked about.

sounds like he's making all the decisions without any input from you or your concerns,and wht input you do have is being ignored all together,building an ongoing relationship is tough at best and with one person doing all the driving and expecting the other to just accept it is not a good start..good luck though there is still some hope he might listen if he wants to look to a future with you and him together..

If he is buying flip property....perhaps he has in mind to make a ton of money on a good opportunity so he can afford a really nice farm later.....did you ask him why?? How long have you been together?

Lily, no idea. He started bringing it up and isn't wanting to answer why. All he keeps saying is he will sell in 2 years, which I'm having a hard time buying.

Heather, I've compromised on the animals before and still got royally screwed. So I learned that lesson and won't do it again.

Thank you though. :-)

Sorry for slow responses working on the fricking taxes. Mutters and cusses.

Well, he can't call you a liar. It is all there, in black and white. It is something you said you were not willing to compromise on, and you are sticking to it. Maybe he thought you would change your mind. Make the decision that is right for YOU, because you will have to live with it.

Sorry if it doesn't work out, but you know best what is improtant to you.

Good luck.

If you aren't going to put him before the animals, why should he put you before his money?

Lily, I don't know what's up with the house flipping. But I am still having a hard time seeing it. Our economy isn't so great and I truly can't see a miraculous recovery in 2 years. I really think he wants the lake and a boat to go play on. He doesn't seem to have any interest in the off the grid stuff anymore that we have talked about. Solar panels and such.

Anton, 4 months.

Valid point.


Maybe they just aren't right for each other.

Different priorities in life.

Lily, then he shouldn't have contacted me in the first place. I wouldn't have placed him before kids, if I had any. Its essentially the same thing.

You've been together 4 months...is he asking you to get rid of the animals?

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Its what it comes down to, but it was his priorities that changed over the time, not mine.