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| Topic: emotional abuse | |
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Although no visible physical signs may be present, emotional abuse can ultimately lead to someone doing themselves physical harm.Tactics used by the abuser includes destructive criticism, abusive name calling and persistent put down is classed as emotional abuse and in some cases worse than physical assault. Mark, Kim is too strong a woman to put up with any of this .........
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Bonny...that's how people know it's not me....I'm too mean
 I think emotional abuse is worse than physical (most of the time) because it lasts longer, but I wonder if you don't put up with it, if it would be abuse? |
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I'm talking about the inside. If you are strong enough to not let it mess with you....then is that abuse? Yes! The abuse is what the other person DID TO YOU, not how you 'react' to it. Emotional abuse is the same thing as psychological abuse. Anytime you are subjected to behavior that is psychologically harmful, it will effect you, even if it’s in your sub-conscience. It can usually be treated with EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) by a trained therapist. |
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ok...let me put myself in this hypothetical.... I am dating a guy and he says things that are belittling, degrading...whatever. If I didn't let it get to me...then???? Despite how tough the mountain is, the steady drop of water will eventually wear it down. After a while that small belittling word constently applied will get to a person no matter how strong that person is and they will feel the effects of verbal abuse. Now a really strong person will see this and get out of that relationship or the couple will seek help. So, yes, it is abusive. |
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ok...let me put myself in this hypothetical.... I am dating a guy and he says things that are belittling, degrading...whatever. If I didn't let it get to me...then???? Despite how tough the mountain is, the steady drop of water will eventually wear it down. After a while that small belittling word constently applied will get to a person no matter how strong that person is and they will feel the effects of verbal abuse. Now a really strong person will see this and get out of that relationship or the couple will seek help. So, yes, it is abusive. agreed 
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is it emotional abuse if you don't let it effect you?
^interesting question and I've studied this to a degree, the answer is a resounding yes and here's why, if you've gotten to the point (outside of outright denial) that emotional abuse doesn't effect you, then you've already been effected by it, it has hardened your heart and dried up the ole tear ducts....which basically means you are in bad shape, emotionally and mentally...and one day it will all come to a head....danger danger |
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another thread made me think of this and curious of the answers.... is it emotional abuse if you don't let it effect you? sorry it's late and my brain is on over load lol I would have to say yes. How do you know how the abuse is effecting you subconsciously? |
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Bonny...that's how people know it's not me....I'm too mean I think emotional abuse is worse than physical (most of the time) because it lasts longer, but I wonder if you don't put up with it, if it would be abuse? Not mean, you just don't suffer fools gladly. |
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Abuse no matter how you look at it is abuse.
Whether it be physical, emotionally or verbal abuse it is still there and leaves it mark one way or another. Some may try to fool themselves and say it does not but somewhere somehow down the line it leaves it's mark. Difference is Physical Abuse leaves it scars in more ways then one no getting out of hiding it from yourself even if one hides it from others for a while. In the end it will still be recognized down the road. Emotionally abuse will be seen by others for those that are abused emotionally will be more apt to be shy or loners at times afraid to interact with others. Where there will be those that don't show those signs but will be more off Standish as far as relationships or just getting close to others. Verbal abuse can cause the same reactions as emotionally abuse but then more tend to be able to handle this at times and brush it off. Everyone is different in what they can deal with but normally any type of abuse leaves it mark whether we want to admit it or not in one way or another. 
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Edited by
HuckleberryFinn
on
Mon 02/08/10 09:52 AM
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I think emotional abuse is worse than physical (most of the time) because it lasts longer, but I wonder if you don't put up with it, if it would be abuse?
^one of the worst statements I've ever heard, now before you cut my head off, listen to reason Mental abuse, means you're being mentally abused and it will effect you emiotionally Physical abuse, means someone is kicking off in your azz and it will effect you mentally and emotionally....but in the end all abuse leaves scars, some never heal and remain open and some propel us to learn and take charge of our lives and become better from the experience we aren't responsible for the actions of others towards us, but we are responsible for our reactions...... |
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I'm talking about the inside. If you are strong enough to not let it mess with you....then is that abuse? It doesn't matter if it effects you or not, the issue is whether it is abusive behavior or words. It describes the actions of the perpetrator not the result. |
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Let the hissing and booing commence......
Ahem........ Abuse is for the weak souled pantywaists who are willing to put up with someone mistreating them physically, verbally or mentally. It is their CHOICE to put up with that crap. (And usually play the "woe is me" card. I don't buy it. I spent too damned many years teaching self defense at shelters for battered women. I only feel bad for them the first time. When they rationalize going back to get their @ss kicked again (mentally or physically).....that is a choice that the abusee makes consciously. Before anyone jumps my @ss for my perspective, consider the possibility that I may very well have a s**t load more first hand experience than you would ever know. |
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hmmmmmmm interesting points
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ok...let me put myself in this hypothetical.... I am dating a guy and he says things that are belittling, degrading...whatever. If I didn't let it get to me...then???? Why the hell would you want to be with someone that does this anyway? Are you a masochist? If you have to ask, you likely already know the answer... I agree with Krupa... he makes a good point. $.02 
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ok...let me put myself in this hypothetical.... I am dating a guy and he says things that are belittling, degrading...whatever. If I didn't let it get to me...then???? Why the hell would you want to be with someone that does this anyway? Are you a masochist? If you have to ask, you likely already know the answer... I agree with Krupa... he makes a good point. $.02 psst.....remember this was a hypothetical brought on by another thread. It's not about me 
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Let the hissing and booing commence...... Ahem........ Abuse is for the weak souled pantywaists who are willing to put up with someone mistreating them physically, verbally or mentally. It is their CHOICE to put up with that crap. (And usually play the "woe is me" card. I don't buy it. I spent too damned many years teaching self defense at shelters for battered women. I only feel bad for them the first time. When they rationalize going back to get their @ss kicked again (mentally or physically).....that is a choice that the abusee makes consciously. Before anyone jumps my @ss for my perspective, consider the possibility that I may very well have a s**t load more first hand experience than you would ever know. Obviously your "experience" is only from one perspective because you are off target. The abused are abused for many complicated reasons. They have no esteem to see value in themselves to believe they deserve better than what they get for starters and it goes on from there. You are right in the idea that the abused have to get to a point to help themselves but it is more complicated than they want to have their assses kicked so they go back. The situation is so complicated it cannot be explained simply, like you tried to. |
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 ok...let me put myself in this hypothetical.... I am dating a guy and he says things that are belittling, degrading...whatever. If I didn't let it get to me...then???? Why the hell would you want to be with someone that does this anyway? Are you a masochist? If you have to ask, you likely already know the answer... I agree with Krupa... he makes a good point. $.02 psst.....remember this was a hypothetical brought on by another thread. It's not about me DOH!   |
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ok...let me put myself in this hypothetical.... I am dating a guy and he says things that are belittling, degrading...whatever. If I didn't let it get to me...then???? Why the hell would you want to be with someone that does this anyway? Are you a masochist? If you have to ask, you likely already know the answer... I agree with Krupa... he makes a good point. $.02 psst.....remember this was a hypothetical brought on by another thread. It's not about me DOH! I forgot to put my disclaimer at the beginning
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There is an old Taoist saying that goes: "One drop of rain does not consider itself a flood."
A single, thoughtless statement, made by one to another, may not be abusive, in and of itself (the drop), but when a pattern of repetitive statements and/or "going back to the same well" occurs, then yes, abuse (the flood) exists, and it is usually two-fold. The abuser continues what he or she has found to give him or her control over another, and the abused self-inflicts more abuse by rationalizing why the "deserve" it or need to stay in such a situation. Generally, if you had to ask the question that began this thread, then the answer is yes...and you knew it...which is why you asked all of us for validation of your inner feeling. |
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There is an old Taoist saying that goes: "One drop of rain does not consider itself a flood." A single, thoughtless statement, made by one to another, may not be abusive, in and of itself (the drop), but when a pattern of repetitive statements and/or "going back to the same well" occurs, then yes, abuse (the flood) exists, and it is usually two-fold. The abuser continues what he or she has found to give him or her control over another, and the abused self-inflicts more abuse by rationalizing why the "deserve" it or need to stay in such a situation. Generally, if you had to ask the question that began this thread, then the answer is yes...and you knew it...which is why you asked all of us for validation of your inner feeling.  AGAIN....this topic came up from another thread not from a personal situation I don't put up with emotional abuse. it was late when I posted this and thought it would be an interesting topic to discuss
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