when once cheated-it is really hard to gain back the "TRUST" thing again:>(

As a guy who just got out of my first relationship in which I was cheated on, it seems clear to me. If they cheat dump them. If your gonna take em back, make em come back and do it on your standards not theirs. It's harsh but the end result of forgiving her was worse for me. Three and a half years together, then she cheated on me. She was honest about it and came back and self-reported. I tried to set some rules and come up with a method to deal with it. She didn't stick to it, didn't even try really. Three months later she broke up with me because she wanted the freedom to be a slut without me having any right to complain. Yes I got the I'm lost and confused lines as well as many other words that seem oh so hollow. The way I see it, if I had broken it off with her it would have been better for me in the end. Less pain, a more clear direction for us both, and finally she would be much more likely to remember me well and maybe I'd be able to take her back once she had figured her **** out. I was weak. I lost who I was. I even still would trust her. Those last three months just messed up and confused everything. It took me another three months to get past the attachment. I'm still working on putting myself back together. So there, that's my story.

Would not know I don't give the second chance. I give my all in a relationship my heart & soul and total trust. And I expect the same back...... if they can't give it to me the first time then they were not into the relationship as much as I was....Therefore it is time that we both move on for it just was not meant to be....


You learn to forgive and move on......

It's cheating only if ya' get caught.

Cheaters tend to repeat their mistakes (Seen and experienced it happen) Most of the time its just their way. If you have it in you to NEVER cheat then you will NEVER cheat.

I think what makes it worse is when you have someone that makes excuses. Then turns around and says it wont happen again. Your right it wont.

Once begun a few might stop but most wont... I'm probably not going to be popular for this description, but in a relationship cheating is like a closed door. As long as you never open it, you can continue to walk past it whenever the opportunity arises. But if you open the door, it is mighty hard to fully close it again, and most probably never manages that.
What I think happens is the destruction the trust in the relationship. Trust is like a bridge connecting two people. If trust is broken it vanishes forever, like a tree cut down at its base. The roots might still be living, but never will the same tree stand again.
Personally I'd cut my losses, lick my wounds and move on...

Yeah but...........I don't believe just because they cheat on one they will cheat on everyone they are with... There are exceptions to ever rule.......

I have known those that did cheat and the price was high that they had to pay...At times there are ones that learn a lesson the hard way and does not repeat it with the next one...

...if they cheat kick them to the curb,and go find you someone who will show you and the relationship you share some respect...AIDS and herpes are just a couple of STDs you take a risk in getting when you take back a cheater...

I had a girl that felt if I watched porn without her there, then she considered it cheating. Well....by her definition...I was into adultery everyday!

I cheated on every woman I was with.
The fourth wife is the only one I didn't cheat on.

Cheating is a trust factor and I never forgive it and expect no less if I were to do it to another.

I want to thank everyone on there comments. I believe there is truth in all the comments. I personally believe that everyone can change and if they want to they will and if they value the one their with they will but if they lack love and value they will continue to do what they do. trust can be regained but it take the work of both parties to rebuild a broken bridge. Thank you again for all your commentary.

i cant join in at this time.......................



my thoughts on this subject would cause a rampage..........



nuff said

It sounds like you don't trust him at all. Do you? If there is no trust there, you should really end the relationship. No one should have to check in with anyone actually. You sound more like his mom..step away and give him the room to hang himself again, trust me he will.

from a man's standpoint: Red flag!! In the days of my youth, our parents forgave those things,up to a point. If this person does not respect you enough to let you know what is going on, I would want nothing to do with him. Today's society says that is not okay. Dating sure has changed over the years with this type of disrespect running rampant. This is stuff that divorces are made of. Look at at all of the celebrity breakups and that should give you a clue. and they have way more to lose than we do.