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| Topic: Love or convenience? | |
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I only ask because for the past 3 years I was with this guy but it never felt right to me.I didn't know what to do.My family loved him,my daughter loved him,he did take care of us,fixed the house if it needed fixing but he was lousy at keeping a job,lousy at communicating,gave no affection to me or intimacy and had a bad smokin problem*weed.My whole family told me to marry him bc he was the best I could get.'There is no such thing as love mija,you need to be with someone who can take care of you and your daughter.'they said.Needless to say,I broke it off anyway bc my heart just wasn't in it.
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I will tell you what I told my sister when she told me she was gonna divorce her husband.
"You only live once. Only you can make you happy. If you arent happy, then forget everyone else and whatever thier opinions may be....You are my sister and I love you....I want you to be happy with your life" To this day, my parents pray for those two to reunite (never gonna happen)...I hang out with my sis and her ex....he is a great guy and a good father...they simply ran out of passion and thier entire marriage had become convenience without love. That aint no way to live. Life without passion ain't living....it is existing.... |
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My last few relationships haven't "felt" right. But the sex was always good, and I stayed. I am such a whore.
 
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Lmao....yes,,,,yes you are.
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Lmao....yes,,,,yes you are. How dare you roll your eyes at my weakness. 
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 It's ok.The first step to healing is admitting you have a problem....good job there buddy *pats on back....you're gonna make it.
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I only ask because for the past 3 years I was with this guy but it never felt right to me.I didn't know what to do.My family loved him,my daughter loved him,he did take care of us,fixed the house if it needed fixing but he was lousy at keeping a job,lousy at communicating,gave no affection to me or intimacy and had a bad smokin problem*weed.My whole family told me to marry him bc he was the best I could get.'There is no such thing as love mija,you need to be with someone who can take care of you and your daughter.'they said.Needless to say,I broke it off anyway bc my heart just wasn't in it. Good on you girl, go your own way no matter what people say!!! Sure they have a point, life is easier in a group and for thousands of years people have stayed together out of necessity, to stay safe, make ends meet and keep up in the world, disregarding of their personal losses. But despite we are living in decadent phucked up times and have fast outpaced ourselves there are a few ups around, one of them being the freedom not to have to be with someone you don't want to be with. So go for being with someone that does it for you! Having said that I feel obliged also to say (knowing I should just keep my mouth shut) that I see a problem in our view on romantic love, generally speaking, and it goes sort of like this: people believe that the person they love, are in love with, are in a relationship with, ought to meet their every need. And that goes for boys guys and gals, and it's a very sweet romantic notion, but that's just not the way people work (hence so many broken relationships). I don't know you rock'n'roll girl, and I sure ain't judging, just throwing my 2cents there, and wishing you the best!! |
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Think I might go mad. Start licking the wall. The snozzberries taste like snozzberries.
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Confusion say;
Sex is only a problem when ya' ain't gettin' it. 
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Confusion say; Sex is only a problem when ya' ain't gettin' it. Yup, but when you're getting it, most of the time you've got other problems...
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Confusion say; Sex is only a problem when ya' ain't gettin' it. Yup, but when you're getting it, most of the time you've got other problems... Agreed himself! After the ex hubby got sentenced & sent away I waited years before moving on. I was so in love with him I didn't want to! Eventually, I gave into the pressures & suggestions to just find a replacement and "settle". I spent 4 yrs with someone that I love as a person & friend, but never made my heart flutter! IMO-hold out for love!!! The passion and happiness can not be duplicated by settling. I still hear the riff-raff about how someone with an academic career like myself shouldn't waste their time with a convict, but it really doesn't matter to my heart. The critics don't really "know" either of us, our history, or the fact that he is serving this sentence because his friend, the real perpetrator of the crime, had a son to raise so he passed the blame onto the only other person he could! Listen to advice, but follow your heart-IME, it's the only way to be truly happy! I did everything that people said to do to "get over him" and nothing worked. My personal healing process & journey to find myself again, just brough me right back to him. Lucky for me these feelings are mutual and his attempt at settling did not go well either. When you truly belong with someone you will know and nothing will keep you apart! Good Luck spiritgirl! |
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Confusion say; Sex is only a problem when ya' ain't gettin' it. Yup, but when you're getting it, most of the time you've got other problems... Agreed himself! After the ex hubby got sentenced & sent away I waited years before moving on. I was so in love with him I didn't want to! Eventually, I gave into the pressures & suggestions to just find a replacement and "settle". I spent 4 yrs with someone that I love as a person & friend, but never made my heart flutter! IMO-hold out for love!!! The passion and happiness can not be duplicated by settling. I still hear the riff-raff about how someone with an academic career like myself shouldn't waste their time with a convict, but it really doesn't matter to my heart. The critics don't really "know" either of us, our history, or the fact that he is serving this sentence because his friend, the real perpetrator of the crime, had a son to raise so he passed the blame onto the only other person he could! Listen to advice, but follow your heart-IME, it's the only way to be truly happy! I did everything that people said to do to "get over him" and nothing worked. My personal healing process & journey to find myself again, just brough me right back to him. Lucky for me these feelings are mutual and his attempt at settling did not go well either. When you truly belong with someone you will know and nothing will keep you apart! Good Luck spiritgirl! Thanks for sharing firefly!! Hope everything works out for you!!! 
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Confusion say; Sex is only a problem when ya' ain't gettin' it. Yup, but when you're getting it, most of the time you've got other problems... Agreed himself! After the ex hubby got sentenced & sent away I waited years before moving on. I was so in love with him I didn't want to! Eventually, I gave into the pressures & suggestions to just find a replacement and "settle". I spent 4 yrs with someone that I love as a person & friend, but never made my heart flutter! IMO-hold out for love!!! The passion and happiness can not be duplicated by settling. I still hear the riff-raff about how someone with an academic career like myself shouldn't waste their time with a convict, but it really doesn't matter to my heart. The critics don't really "know" either of us, our history, or the fact that he is serving this sentence because his friend, the real perpetrator of the crime, had a son to raise so he passed the blame onto the only other person he could! Listen to advice, but follow your heart-IME, it's the only way to be truly happy! I did everything that people said to do to "get over him" and nothing worked. My personal healing process & journey to find myself again, just brough me right back to him. Lucky for me these feelings are mutual and his attempt at settling did not go well either. When you truly belong with someone you will know and nothing will keep you apart! Good Luck spiritgirl! Thanks for sharing firefly!! Hope everything works out for you!!! Aww-thanks himself, I think we will be just fine! We've been through many hard times, but have much love & compassion for one another! It's more of a spiritual connection than a choice to be "be together"! Being together just puts the soul at ease and makes it easier to breath! |
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I will tell you what I told my sister when she told me she was gonna divorce her husband. "You only live once. Only you can make you happy. If you arent happy, then forget everyone else and whatever thier opinions may be....You are my sister and I love you....I want you to be happy with your life" To this day, my parents pray for those two to reunite (never gonna happen)...I hang out with my sis and her ex....he is a great guy and a good father...they simply ran out of passion and thier entire marriage had become convenience without love. That aint no way to live. Life without passion ain't living....it is existing.... wow. There's a serious Krupa. wow. I have nothing more to add -- he said it 
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Lol love everyone wants it but not everyone can handle it even if they found it cause there's more to love the just loving someone. This topic of love or convinance sounds a lot like my last relationship and that's why I broke up wit her. Everything was to convinent for her which made me wonder weather or not I was jus being used but at the same time I think it was somthing that couldn't be helped, and dispite how much I've grown to care for her and dare I say it I love her, but I don't trust her. Sometimes I wonder if the circumstances weren't there that things may actually work and that our instant relationship would have pulled though. It wasn't love at first site but we fell into one ever so quickly and ever so quickly did it end with all questions in the air. Love is real but not always sweet and not easy, but convinancey is a tricky lier that will fool any lovers heart.
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Lol love everyone wants it but not everyone can handle it even if they found it cause there's more to love the just loving someone. This topic of love or convinance sounds a lot like my last relationship and that's why I broke up wit her. Everything was to convinent for her which made me wonder weather or not I was jus being used but at the same time I think it was somthing that couldn't be helped, and dispite how much I've grown to care for her and dare I say it I love her, but I don't trust her. Sometimes I wonder if the circumstances weren't there that things may actually work and that our instant relationship would have pulled though. It wasn't love at first site but we fell into one ever so quickly and ever so quickly did it end with all questions in the air. Love is real but not always sweet and not easy, but convinancey is a tricky lier that will fool any lovers heart. I love this, so true, the harsh reality, but love and trust for me is not something that can be separated. If you loved her, but did not trust her, of course it did not work out. Good on you you didn't stay in the trap, though there were many things to snare you. One door closes, many more awaits to be opened. I wish you the best Chanra! |
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How many people truely believe that Love exists?Is it really that googoo,gaga,my world turned upside down and sweep you off your feet feeling like everyone says?Or do you believe in convenience?Well,he/she is there for me,they do everything a good woman/man is supposed to but I just don't think I'm 'in'love with him/her.They put up with my b.s.,the family loves 'em...I guess I could grow to love this person.What is your opinion? I used to believe Love exists but as I get older I don't think that way anymore; its just a convenience. People have forgotten how to love as its all about possessions and money these days. Very sad. |
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How many people truely believe that Love exists?Is it really that googoo,gaga,my world turned upside down and sweep you off your feet feeling like everyone says?Or do you believe in convenience?Well,he/she is there for me,they do everything a good woman/man is supposed to but I just don't think I'm 'in'love with him/her.They put up with my b.s.,the family loves 'em...I guess I could grow to love this person.What is your opinion? I used to believe Love exists but as I get older I don't think that way anymore; its just a convenience. People have forgotten how to love as its all about possessions and money these days. Very sad.  Well said. Very few out there
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I only ask because for the past 3 years I was with this guy but it never felt right to me.I didn't know what to do.My family loved him,my daughter loved him,he did take care of us,fixed the house if it needed fixing but he was lousy at keeping a job,lousy at communicating,gave no affection to me or intimacy and had a bad smokin problem*weed.My whole family told me to marry him bc he was the best I could get.'There is no such thing as love mija,you need to be with someone who can take care of you and your daughter.'they said.Needless to say,I broke it off anyway bc my heart just wasn't in it. It took you 3 years to finally break it off. Damn. You're more patient than I am....lol. |
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If it is only for convenience that will work for some but not what I'm looking for.
I do believe in love have felt it and given it so I do know that it exist.... I will hold out till I find that feeling again or remain single better then with another just for convenience hummm another word for using another for your own satisfaction..... Unless it is a mutual thing then it is wrong in my book...
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