Topic: Need advice to shorten a profile
geektothetenth's photo
Thu 12/30/10 07:16 PM
I have these lists on my profile here, but I have another profile on another site and there are character limits. I need to whittle these 2 lists down to about 5 things for each (5 "to date" and 5 reasons not to) so let me know which ones you guys think I should use.

Thanks in advance for replies:


13 reasons to date an asian:

1. You won't have to wonder whether your new asian character tattoo actually says "love, strength and courage" or "I have sex with donkeys"

2. When you're paying for dinner at the buffet you might end up paying about 25% less....kids under 12 eat for half price.

3. You can stop looking utterly perplexed at Dim Sum, not willing to try a dish for fear of it being coagulated pigs blood (yes there is a dish like this in dim sum, it's actually pretty good, but I bet your glad I pointed out which one it was)

4. When the in laws are complaining to you (and they will) you can pretend to not understand their broken english. A half smile, nod and shoulder shrug usually get the message across.

5. 24 hour IT service at home

6. If you need some privacy, just turn on the PS2 and throw in a RPG, he'll probably be distracted for a minimum of 72 hours.

7. You can tell your friends that you're dating Jet Li, they won't be able to tell the difference

8. You can stop feeling like you're being a tiny bit racist when you do mock kung fu moves when dancing to "Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting"

9. On the off chance that your sister gets on a train leaving Chicago at 4:00 and is traveling 50 mph east and your brother is leaving NY on a train at 4:20 traveling 65 mph west....we know what time you're supposed to be at train station C to pick them up.

10. If you (and every single person you know in the world) runs out of hair styling product at the exact same time, there's probably enough in our closet for everyone. It doesn't matter if it's hairspray, gel, mousse, pomade, wax....we probably have it and in copious amounts.

11. Hot night planned, can't find the blindfold, well, everyone has dental floss in their bathroom medicine cabinet.

12. Want to buy a some shirts for him, his siblings and his asian friends....we take the guess work out, our favortie color is always black. The movie Matrix is our equivalent of your Vogue.

13. If you don't have a stick up yer arse and find this funny, well then you must like my sense of humor...and I happen to be asian so what time shall I pick you up?
------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------ -----------------------------------
13 Reasons Not to date an asian:

1. You might get mistakenly arrested for being a pedophile

2. You always run the risk of losing the guy in a crowd in China Town....you'll never find him again, just gotta hope he finds you

3. When the new Dragon Quest video game comes out, he will be of no use to anyone for anyreason whatsoever

4. If some of your favorite movies include "The King and I" or "Breakfast at Tiffanys" be prepared to either never watch them again, or endure a 6 hour lecture about eurocentrism, the building of the transcontinental railroad, and the Japanese internment camps during WWII

5. If you go to the amusement park you'll have to ride the rollercoaster alone...sorry management insists that the height requirement is a safety issue

6. At this point even Chinese people won't buy toys made in China

7. We can't drive...and we still won't ask for directions

8. When the neighbors dog is missing everyone will eye you guys suspiciously and nobody will come over to have "pork" chops at your place.

9. Any flat rectangular piece of wood that decides to remain intact is taken as an affront to your mates manhood and must be chopped. To this day I keep all of my books in plastic yaffa blocks.

10. You may go Deaf from having people yell at you. For some reason people think that if you don't understand english they think you'll understand LOUDER english. I speak and comprehend english just fine thank you very much, it's stupid that I have a hard time understanding.

11. Our hairstyles are taken directly from anime movies, which is pretty cool looking, but they might take out your eye. Better wear safety goggles to bed. (on the plus side we find that sexy)

12. Foreplay will consist of sequentially harder higher order mathematics...eh not that bad though cause what that other guy does is just as boring.

13. When you're teasing him, telling him your vibrator is broken and you need something to use to get off....he won't get the hint and he'll go fix it. (actually this could go into either category now that I think about it)

fireflysgirl's photo
Thu 12/30/10 07:29 PM
lol
rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl

top: 1, 2, 6, 7, 12, & 13
bottoms: 2, 3, 6, 7, 8, 11 & 13

TxsGal3333's photo
Thu 12/30/10 08:47 PM
Ohhhh heck why shorten it just leave them all.....:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

Mag83's photo
Thu 12/30/10 08:59 PM
The first half was kind of funny; the second half needs to go

s1owhand's photo
Thu 12/30/10 09:03 PM
Edited by s1owhand on Thu 12/30/10 09:04 PM
Mr. Obvious says, "There is a very simple solution to reducing
these lists down to their distilled essence. In a single line you
can preserve every thought expressed above without any loss of nuance
even without sacrificing a single character. It is a type of meaning
preserving digital compression which is trivial to decompress...

and the compressed message is only 34 characters long, requires no key,
and is easily expressed in ascii....

and the compressed expression is....



























































































http://mingle2.com/user/view/331137

no photo
Thu 12/30/10 09:05 PM
Profiles should never be shortened. It's like cutting your legs off.


s1owhand's photo
Thu 12/30/10 09:09 PM
no reputable dating site would limit you to less than the requisite
637,594 pages of text - or more if you really need it

laugh

geektothetenth's photo
Thu 12/30/10 09:47 PM
Edited by geektothetenth on Thu 12/30/10 09:48 PM

Mr. Obvious says, "There is a very simple solution to reducing
these lists down to their distilled essence. In a single line you
can preserve every thought expressed above without any loss of nuance
even without sacrificing a single character. It is a type of meaning
preserving digital compression which is trivial to decompress...

and the compressed message is only 34 characters long, requires no key,
and is easily expressed in ascii....

and the compressed expression is....


http://mingle2.com/user/view/331137


I would, but it wouldn't get accepted due to the link so I really do need to shorten it. I'm glad they don't cut off my legs here and I really do like this site but the other site has so many more people and to be honest, I talk to more prospective dates there than here. It's fun to play around in the forums here but I've only talked to a very small number of people who live close enough to me to actually go out on a date with.

no photo
Fri 12/31/10 07:16 AM

no reputable dating site would limit you to less than the requisite
637,594 pages of text - or more if you really need it

laugh


That's why it's so important for House Bill 1787-M to be enacted into law as soon as possible.


fireflysgirl's photo
Fri 12/31/10 07:30 AM

Profiles should never be shortened. It's like cutting your legs off.




LOL Lex! You must walk on stilts man...laugh

no photo
Fri 12/31/10 09:14 AM


Profiles should never be shortened. It's like cutting your legs off.




LOL Lex! You must walk on stilts man...laugh


Makes it hard to pick up the nickels on the ground, though.


soufiehere's photo
Fri 12/31/10 11:44 AM
This is an easily fixed problem.
Simply read Lex's profile.
Should you ever finish it, you will understand
just how short life is.
And move on from this exercise in futility.

Himself1's photo
Fri 12/31/10 02:22 PM
That was pretty funny, shows your humor and with a little patience you'll have yourself a chick that digs what you've got.

I think you could easily let it all stand, or if not, just remove the second half, basically because it is just more of the same...

All the best!

Tessa02's photo
Fri 12/31/10 04:32 PM
Heck, I'd date a guy fo all the wrong reasons!! I'd drop the "reasons to date"!! lol

no photo
Fri 12/31/10 05:07 PM

This is an easily fixed problem.
Simply read Lex's profile.
Should you ever finish it, you will understand
just how short life is.
And move on from this exercise in futility.


That's not fair.

You know NOBODY ever finishes it.....

shades