if your looking for relationship material and the girl goes all the way with you very soon after meeting her, including oral and intercourse do you still respect her or even though you asked for it and went along with it when she obliged are you secretly disappointed???? I know some guys who've told me that the sex must be immediate because without sex theres no chance for relationship...

If they don't respect something they asked for and went along with, I'd have to ask why they're doing it in the first place? Are they playing a game to see what happens? To see who fits their criteria of someone they can respect? If so, is that worthy of respect?

Sexual relationships aren't worth it. To some they are fun, appear to be but in the end, you'll crave for more always. We're all wired the same in that sense.

Sex is an important part of a relationship. I don't believe those who say they disagree.

unfortunately - like it or not - you defintely risk losing him id u sleep with him right away

not a value judgement - it is what it is - a double standard mostly - but as far as I can see it's alive & well

so if u don't care if it goes anywhere ur fine to do that if YOU can live with that

but if you want a future with him, it's best to wait - at least till you know if he is trustworthy and REALLY single - even better wait long enuff to see if he is relationship material himself

men don't all have the same view about sex. some men don't respect women before, during and after sex. personally, i respect a woman who is comfortable with her decisions. if she has sex on the first date or waits until marriage, it doesn't matter to me as long as she doesn't regret her decision

as for guys who have told you that the sex must be immediate for there to be a chance for a relationship, some men will say anything to get into your panties

If you're holding out on sex to find out if he's trustworthy, do you think most will actually stick around? That's a game as well.

I say do what you're comfortable with. If you're comfortable enough with someone to have sex early on, go for it. If you really need to wait it out, then do so. Either way, it may or may not work out how you want it to work out.

no it is not a game. it is common sense. and ya, it depends on what you want I guess - that may not matter to some

I don;t "hold out" I am usually not interested or comfortable being intimate with someone who I don't know very well.....eeewwwwwwwww

also I don;t care if they don't like my bedroom time table - w/e - if he can't get to know me first I am not interested

- and actually it is usually when they get sex immediately that they take off - not the other way around - just what I have observed

Men who can wait are worth it in the end. Sex is vital in a connection. I'm not saying it should be extracted.

nor is it something indiscriminate

exactly

How long does someone have to wait to show they're worth it?

Hit it fast....Hit it strong.

Until both are ready. Very simple.

Me and my Fiance got it together the first night - next day I moved in with her and we were together for 6 years until she passed away last year.
As long as both parties are comfortable and up for it then there is nothing wrong with sex on a first date.

There is so much pressure on nowadays over sex..... it is an intimate time to be enjoyed by both parties - so get over it lol

uh. ive made a guy wait for me before just to prove something. and he went along with it too and he waited like 2 months. then we did it and then a couple more times, and THEN he left me...

I don't think there's a formula for this -- to me, it would depend on a lot of things. I'm not looking for someone to jump right into bed with, but it has happened, and I never really saw it as a red flag unless at some point I had a reason to think maybe she did this with everybody.

As for the guy saying the sex must be immediate otherwise there's no chance for a relationship -- I'm guessing that guy is looking strictly FOR sex, and not a relationship at all. There's nothing wrong with waiting and getting to know someone, if you're truly thinking the relationship could go somewhere.

Sex is a two way street... there is no he chose or she chose. How can you ask someone to have sex, and then when they oblige, be disappointed? I mean why ask to begin with? If you don't want the results, don't take the tests... pretty simple.

For those who say the sex must be immediate, they are not even interested in the relationship. The word immediate proves that. It is one thing to move fast in a relationship if that is what the participants are comfortable with, it is a whole other to say "for me to care about you, you have to put out".

I've heard several other stories about sex on the first date, or relatively early on turning into multi-year relationships. So yes, I think it really just has to do with both people involved. For those who prefer to wait, it will best work with a partner who is willing to wait. If both people are that attracted to and that comfortable with having sex early on, go for it, rather than worrying about what others may think. It's not about anyone but them.

Ah, ok. The reason I was asking was because it sounded like you had them wait for a specific period of time to show they're worth having sex with. If it's a mutual decision to wait, awesome.