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Topic: can u tell ur partner married or single hw much u earn?
whobedat's photo
Mon 01/30/12 04:22 PM
be honest, can u tell ur partner married or single, hw much u earn? Or preferrably show ur pay slip? As one of the signs of trust in a relationship?

Teditis's photo
Mon 01/30/12 04:25 PM
Well.. my thought is that if you can't... move on.
Either you don't trust them enough or...
know that that can't trust you enough.

msharmony's photo
Mon 01/30/12 05:08 PM

be honest, can u tell ur partner married or single, hw much u earn? Or preferrably show ur pay slip? As one of the signs of trust in a relationship?


partners who are single and paying their own bills dont need to know what I make

my spouse, who shares my life and our bills, does


,,,,at least thats my opinion anyhow

whobedat's photo
Mon 01/30/12 05:46 PM


be honest, can u tell ur partner married or single, hw much u earn? Or preferrably show ur pay slip? As one of the signs of trust in a relationship?


partners who are single and paying their own bills dont need to know what I make

my spouse, who shares my life and our bills, does


,,,,at least thats my opinion anyhow
TRUE TALK...

MariahsFantasy's photo
Mon 01/30/12 05:51 PM
Depends on if they have a super controlling personality or not.

no photo
Mon 01/30/12 06:38 PM

be honest, can u tell ur partner married or single, hw much u earn? Or preferrably show ur pay slip? As one of the signs of trust in a relationship?


Of course....why not?.....What does showing a pay stub have to do with trust anyway?

RainbowTrout's photo
Tue 01/31/12 05:44 AM
I think it falls under the context of you show me yours and I will show you mine. It is a two way street either way I think. :smile:

Optomistic69's photo
Tue 01/31/12 05:47 AM

I think it falls under the context of you show me yours and I will show you mine. It is a two way street either way I think. :smile:


I applied that way of thinking even before I had a partner or got married...drinker drinker drinker

no photo
Tue 01/31/12 05:51 AM

I think it falls under the context of you show me yours and I will show you mine. It is a two way street either way I think. :smile:


Why does everything have to be about money?slaphead

Optomistic69's photo
Tue 01/31/12 05:57 AM


I think it falls under the context of you show me yours and I will show you mine. It is a two way street either way I think. :smile:


Why does everything have to be about money?slaphead


I thought he was talking about something else entirely..slaphead

trivium2884's photo
Tue 01/31/12 05:58 AM
its more the feeling of not contributing as much as the other partner i had this very problem with my ex

soufiehere's photo
Tue 01/31/12 06:03 AM
The 'white elephant in the room' talk:

"What's for dinner?"
"Nothing."
"Why not?"
"No food."
"Why not?"
"No money."

no photo
Tue 01/31/12 06:05 AM



I think it falls under the context of you show me yours and I will show you mine. It is a two way street either way I think. :smile:


Why does everything have to be about money?slaphead


I thought he was talking about something else entirely..slaphead


That explains why you are still single....laugh

no photo
Tue 01/31/12 06:05 AM

The 'white elephant in the room' talk:

"What's for dinner?"
"Nothing."
"Why not?"
"No food."
"Why not?"
"No money."


laugh ((:heart: ))

Optomistic69's photo
Tue 01/31/12 06:10 AM




I think it falls under the context of you show me yours and I will show you mine. It is a two way street either way I think. :smile:


Why does everything have to be about money?slaphead


I thought he was talking about something else entirely..slaphead


That explains why you are still single....laugh


I got my emoticons mixed up...laugh

He Used...:smile:

I thought he had used..:wink:

no photo
Tue 01/31/12 06:45 AM


Depends on if they have a super controlling personality or not.


That is unusually true. But the problem of controlling needs to be addressed rather than the issue of obsessing on your income.

My mother is like that. My father struggled quite a lot over it while they were married. He later advised me never to share how much money I had, with her.


was he hiding something? I don't generally think it's necessary to disclose all the details unless the household budget is managed by one partner only. Then that partner really does need all the info - I was/am a very honest person and a good book keeper but my ex had, and still has questionable financial judgement - it did cause a few issues because I was 100% responsible for the household budget and raising 4 children....they needed socks and jeans and he'd want to spend $500 on a beer refrig...

later in our marriage as his/our income grew there were fewer issues as we both had a little more discretionary income, but if a man or a woman wants a FT stay at home partner to care for him/her, the home and children - that partner is trusting you for financial support in return and deserves not only full disclosure but decision making regarding the household expenses and a portion of discretionary income as well

luxury items should not be at the expense of basic needs of the children - except maybe for times like birthdays .... or the occasional treat

that's just my opinion as an advocate because I am sure my ex would say exactly what your father said about your mom. And I never interfere in my kid's financial matters (or anyone else's)...and they really make no effort to hide anything from me - but I also don't ask - it's rude

bastet126's photo
Tue 01/31/12 07:02 AM
i don't get this. for me, it doesn't have anything to do
with trust, or who pays the bills, two people, who are supposed
to love each other, trying to make a life
together, should just know these things about each other?!?!?!

ahhh...but i have been called a dreamer before ohwell

no photo
Tue 01/31/12 07:20 AM

i don't get this. for me, it doesn't have anything to do
with trust, or who pays the bills, two people, who are supposed
to love each other, trying to make a life
together, should just know these things about each other?!?!?!

ahhh...but i have been called a dreamer before ohwell


No, you are absolutely spot on! It really isn't the primary concern I don't think, but it can become so if one partner is unreasonable or hiding income while children go with out....money issues are the #2 reason behind divorce after infidelity, according to the marriage & family stats

it can become an issue out of "nowhere" seemingly if their is actual or perceived inequity

I think it helps too if both partners have similar attitudes - often no one is right or wrong in a marriage - the couple just has different attitude & priorities - some more financially conservative than others, etc

Goofball73's photo
Tue 01/31/12 08:20 AM
Here is my thought. I went out on a couple of dates with a woman whom I knew made more money than I did. The problem was that she knew she did, and therefore she felt she had power over me. And that kind of thinking I just cannot dig.

I don't care who makes what, or who makes more. But the thing is, there are a ton of people who do care about this (and I would think it is mostly men who do). I don't want a woman to take care of me, nor do I want to take care her (financially speaking). Yes, we need money to survive. But why is it that if a woman makes more than a guy that guys get so fearful of them? If you discover you connect with a woman in this positiion, why sabotage what could be a great thing? Money is so evil. laugh

TxsGal3333's photo
Tue 01/31/12 08:36 AM
Hummm if I'm married to them then that should be and open book on how much is coming in.

Now if I'm living with them or just dating them then as long as I pay my fair share and they pay their fair share it is none of their business... If they ask sure I will say how much I make not a problem but my check has nothing to do with the relationship as long as I pay my share of the bills....

What I do with my money or what my partner does with their money is up to each one of us...whoa

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