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| Topic: Fall Out of Love | |
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I'm all out of love.......
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I'm so lost without you...
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Oh good grief
can I have both of u then? |
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Y'all are quoting Air Supply? Niiice, best thing to come outta AUS since Hugh Jackman.
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No, when I love someone, I love them forever. I still love everyone I've ever told I love.  sweet totage
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No, when I love someone, I love them forever. I still love everyone I've ever told I love. I kinda wish I could do that. I only have traces of love left for people who I loved but broke my heart. 
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Yes i have certainly felt like that. I think MANY have. Felt like it would be too hard to escape from. Felt i'd literally die, if i ever chose to leave them. I felt like Romeo and Juliet. One of em, wanted to slit my wrist, and then slit his own, and put them together. I reminded him "This is not Blood Brothers, hun". lol. I'll admit i did expect to marry one of my exes, when i was a teen, but now that i know what i know about him, i'd rather not :/. lol
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Edited by
kre8karma
on
Wed 02/22/12 05:59 AM
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IMHO you can fall out of love with somebody you have been with for a long time, but they will always be a part of you if you ever let them in. And if you didn't let them in, what was the point of the relationship?
I think we are the sum of our experiences so we carry something from everybody who enters our life for any length of time. It follows that the longer the time, the more you carry away with you. The best you can do is to remember the good parts and let go of the bad as best you can. I was married for 18 years, divorced for almost 6 now. I don't think a day goes by when I don't think of something we experienced together or some way he'd have of phrasing something, or ???.....BUT it's my experience now,not just his. It makes me pensive sometimes to realize I've left behind someone who was so integral to my life, but the painful parts dull unless you constantly re-awaken them with bitterness (don't feed the monster!). Last week was my ex's birthday and the same date as his remarriage. For the first few years that date on the calendar was hard. I would dwell on things that hadn't worked out. Ironically, this year, I laughed thru it by exchanging lines from a funny movie with a new friend...the irony was that the movie was a favorite of my ex's that I used to watch with his family every Thanksgiving. New friend had no way of knowing that it kicked me out of the sad and into celebrating one of the great things my ex & I had had together. Winning! It's a process...good luck to all who are going through it 
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IMHO you can fall out of love with somebody you have been with for a long time, but they will always be a part of you if you ever let them in. And if you didn't let them in, what was the point of the relationship? I think we are the sum of our experiences so we carry something from everybody who enters our life for any length of time. It follows that the longer the time, the more you carry away with you. The best you can do is to remember the good parts and let go of the bad as best you can. I was married for 18 years, divorced for almost 6 now. I don't think a day goes by when I don't think of something we experienced together or some way he'd have of phrasing something, or ???.....BUT it's my experience now,not just his. It makes me pensive sometimes to realize I've left behind someone who was so integral to my life, but the painful parts dull unless you constantly re-awaken them with bitterness (don't feed the monster!). Last week was my ex's birthday and the same date as his remarriage. For the first few years that date on the calendar was hard. I would dwell on things that hadn't worked out. Ironically, this year, I laughed thru it by exchanging lines from a funny movie with a new friend...the irony was that the movie was a favorite of my ex's that I used to watch with his family every Thanksgiving. New friend had no way of knowing that it kicked me out of the sad and into celebrating one of the great things my ex & I had had together. Winning! It's a process...good luck to all who are going through it I can totally agree with this the bitterness goes away - at this point I am left with basically a numbness as the best description -my marriage seems like another life that I barely remember - focusing on my children helped a lot, and really if it weren't for them - I 'd have not even thought about my ex these past 15 years - the things he did and lies he told about me....I want nothing to do with him or anyone like him. so I didn't have the grieving for him so much as I a desire to maintain for my kids and my own future - which has not been at all spectacular I am pretty bored really but that's better than being constantly hassled |
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The Question
Have you even fallen out of love with someone you were with for a long time? Answer Yes |
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I went through a long period of counseling after my first divorce, and one of the many things I was taught was that love is a decision, an act of will, one that we have control over, if we so choose.
So, I entered into my next marriage fully aware of the reasons why I chose to love her, without fear, without reservations. It was the best decision I've made in a long time. The fact that our marriage failed does not change who she is as a person, someone worth the love I gave her and definitely worth finding love again. I'm glad we were able to separate under such amicable terms. I fell out of love with her as purposefully as I fell in love with her; granted, she made it easy, both times. I still miss her, at times, and I agonized over my decision for a couple of years before following through with it. I still feel a connection to my first wife, too, but I'm glad the erotic dreams stopped. That was the most difficult time in my life...believing I'd moved on, that I was ready for someone new, then having these dreams that felt so powerful, so real, they had me questioning if I still really was in love with her. Thankfully science explained to me that her presence in my dreams was just a sort of shortcut my brain was making to represent someone desirous in my dreams, that my real want was for intimacy with someone I trusted, not specifically her. Whew! |
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I think one can fall out of love. My friend's marriage is an ideal example of two people that no longer love each other after 25 years but still exist as room mates and stay together out of respect.
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For me, when I love a person its forever,, no falling out of love for me
however, when I just love a situation, or a few of the feelings a relationship causes,,,, I have lost interest in the person when that situation was no longer present, or those feelings no longer were being caused,,, |
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I think one can fall out of love. My friend's marriage is an ideal example of two people that no longer love each other after 25 years but still exist as room mates and stay together out of respect. There is a difference IMO between being in Love and Loving a Person. If in a marriage either partner tells the other that they love them That is it. I think you agreed with me in another post that one cannot turn on and off Love |
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Love is complex...understanding it is a life long learning experience.
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Have you even fallen out of love with someone you were with for a long time? Is something like this possible for ones who loved someone so much they almost couldn't function? Is it crazy to still have them embedded in your memory...even during the day? Does it ever leave you? Yes I have fallen out of love with someone that was the love of my life. Yes it is. When you love someone that deep, you don't get over them right away. In my case, it took us a while to 'let go' and stop hating each other but you move on...Life goes on. |
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I think one can fall out of love. My friend's marriage is an ideal example of two people that no longer love each other after 25 years but still exist as room mates and stay together out of respect. There is a difference IMO between being in Love and Loving a Person. If in a marriage either partner tells the other that they love them That is it. I think you agreed with me in another post that one cannot turn on and off Love I don't think this is a case of turning off love; its a case of growing tired of each other. In this marriage; neither one of them tells the other that they love each other since the last 7 years. I have asked my friend on numerous occassions if he still loved his wife and he says no. They barely talk to each other; no intamacy at all, and don't touch each other. So, do you think they still love each other? She stays in the marriage because he makes good money and does all the house repairs. He stays because a divorce is too costly. Maybe I am just dumb but it doesn't sound much like love to me but I could be wrong as I have never been married. |
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We have our POV and some of us can judge better than most. Love tends to be found elsewhere too, thank God.
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I don't think this is a case of turning off love; its a case of growing tired of each other. In this marriage; neither one of them tells the other that they love each other since the last 7 years. I have asked my friend on numerous occassions if he still loved his wife and he says no. They barely talk to each other; no intamacy at all, and don't touch each other. So, do you think they still love each other? She stays in the marriage because he makes good money and does all the house repairs. He stays because a divorce is too costly. Maybe I am just dumb but it doesn't sound much like love to me but I could be wrong as I have never been married. I can only speak for myself. I am divorced and I still love my wife but I told her that I was no longer in Love with her. If the love is real then it is forever. |
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Edited by
MariahsFantasy
on
Thu 02/23/12 02:23 PM
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So pretty much, you never fall out of love completely, you just move on. Whatever moving on means to you. Dating again, new friends, trying to new ways to be happy again.
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