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| Topic: Why do nice guys finish last?Page 1 of 1 | |
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I am a nice guy that takes care of my family and friends as much as i can,I stay out of trouble, recycle ,open doors for people at the store,stop and help someone broke down on the side of the road, I am the nicest person one would meet...But yet it seems like all the girls want a bad guy? The rude dude that likes to fight an be rude to everyone and lives off people? What is up with that? I am 42 years young and seen this happen alot....
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Not all women like the men you just described. But, most women do not like whiny men. Don't whine about being too nice, as it won't help you get women.
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at least the 'bad guy' seems to have a pair.
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I just think that women rather be with a Waylon Jennings than a Lawrence Welk...i think.
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Not all women like the men you just described. But, most women do not like whiny men. Don't whine about being too nice, as it won't help you get women. |
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N.E.X.T
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Edited by
oldhippie1952
on
Sun 04/29/12 08:03 PM
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I'm a little on the wild side but I don't consider myself bad because I'm not. I also don't think of myself as a "nice" guy because sometimes I get to be a donkey.
EDIT Women are attracted to confident men, "nice" or "bad." |
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Here's my take on it: A lot of guys (if not all) guys who call themselves "nice guys" are manipulative, have an intense fear of abandonment and allow a woman to walk all over them. These "nice guys" are terrible at communication, so they do nice things with the expectation of reciprocation. When there is no reciprocation, they feel used and become petulant and non-communicative and generally act out in passive aggressive ways.
A woman's instinct is that if a guy won't stand up to her, he won't stand up for her. So she will push him, test his boundaries. Eventually, she leaves him to find a man who will stand up to her. Unfortunately, the guys who will stand up to women are usually jerks. Stand up for yourself, set boundaries and enforce them. Communicate your wants and desires. If you want a back rub, say "I want a back rub", don't give her one hoping for reciprocation. I say this a lot, read "No More Mr Nice Guy", it has a lot of good information for breaking the nice guy cycle. |
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I am a nice guy that takes care of my family and friends as much as i can,I stay out of trouble, recycle ,open doors for people at the store,stop and help someone broke down on the side of the road, I am the nicest person one would meet...But yet it seems like all the girls want a bad guy? The rude dude that likes to fight an be rude to everyone and lives off people? What is up with that? I am 42 years young and seen this happen alot.... First of all, it's not being nice or rude which determines why you or any other nice guy finishs last. It's what you decide what you want from life that determines that. Open the door and start a conversation. Help someone on the side of the road and talk to them, be yourself but don't be afraid to let someone know that you're interested in them. If what you do on a average day isn't good enough then change something but don't stop being nice. And in the end, if there is someone you want who doens't want you because you're not the "rude dude" then you're better off. Look at yourself as if you are the man and I bet women will start seeing you as being the man. In other words, how you portray yourself is how others will see you. If you portray yourself as being the nice guy chances are that's how women see you . . . but they may think you're too nice and that's boring. |
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I think maybe we all think we end up last at sometime in our lives.
Pick yourself up and meet life head on. Things don't always go how you want. You just have to find someone who you are suited to. |
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Here's my take on it: A lot of guys (if not all) guys who call themselves "nice guys" are manipulative, have an intense fear of abandonment and allow a woman to walk all over them. These "nice guys" are terrible at communication, so they do nice things with the expectation of reciprocation. When there is no reciprocation, they feel used and become petulant and non-communicative and generally act out in passive aggressive ways. A woman's instinct is that if a guy won't stand up to her, he won't stand up for her. So she will push him, test his boundaries. Eventually, she leaves him to find a man who will stand up to her. Unfortunately, the guys who will stand up to women are usually jerks. Stand up for yourself, set boundaries and enforce them. Communicate your wants and desires. If you want a back rub, say "I want a back rub", don't give her one hoping for reciprocation. I say this a lot, read "No More Mr Nice Guy", it has a lot of good information for breaking the nice guy cycle. Well said Spider. 
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Personally, I want a nice guy; however, nice guys are generally push overs. Women (well me, at least) want to know their man can be the "big strong man" type and take care of stuff, too. Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be a middle ground between push over nice and jerk. Find that middle ground and you'll be the man of many women's dreams.
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I'm a little on the wild side but I don't consider myself bad because I'm not. I also don't think of myself as a "nice" guy because sometimes I get to be a donkey. EDIT Women are attracted to confident men, "nice" or "bad." "Bad" men just know the rules of the game better. |
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at least the 'bad guy' seems to have a pair. Pair of what? |
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I'm a little on the wild side but I don't consider myself bad because I'm not. I also don't think of myself as a "nice" guy because sometimes I get to be a donkey. EDIT Women are attracted to confident men, "nice" or "bad." "Bad" men just know the rules of the game better. What are the rules? |
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I'm a little on the wild side but I don't consider myself bad because I'm not. I also don't think of myself as a "nice" guy because sometimes I get to be a donkey. EDIT Women are attracted to confident men, "nice" or "bad." "Bad" men just know the rules of the game better. What are the rules? Let's just say it has to do with charming words. |
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Pair of what? organic christmas tree ornaments. |
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we finish last when we dont put ourself first,,,,,
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I am a nice guy that takes care of my family and friends as much as i can,I stay out of trouble, recycle ,open doors for people at the store,stop and help someone broke down on the side of the road, I am the nicest person one would meet...But yet it seems like all the girls want a bad guy? The rude dude that likes to fight an be rude to everyone and lives off people? What is up with that? I am 42 years young and seen this happen alot.... It seems the minute you start generalizing about women; you are no longer a nice guy but have put yourself in the jerk category. |
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Here's my take on it: A lot of guys (if not all) guys who call themselves "nice guys" are manipulative, have an intense fear of abandonment and allow a woman to walk all over them. These "nice guys" are terrible at communication, so they do nice things with the expectation of reciprocation. When there is no reciprocation, they feel used and become petulant and non-communicative and generally act out in passive aggressive ways. A woman's instinct is that if a guy won't stand up to her, he won't stand up for her. So she will push him, test his boundaries. Eventually, she leaves him to find a man who will stand up to her. Unfortunately, the guys who will stand up to women are usually jerks. Stand up for yourself, set boundaries and enforce them. Communicate your wants and desires. If you want a back rub, say "I want a back rub", don't give her one hoping for reciprocation. I say this a lot, read "No More Mr Nice Guy", it has a lot of good information for breaking the nice guy cycle. Well said Spider. Thank you. 
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