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| Topic: M & W Can't be "Just Friends" | |
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From the news feed...
Men and Women can't be just friends http://news.yahoo.com/men-women-cant-just-friends-140000101.html excerpt In order to investigate the viability of truly platonic opposite-sex friendships—a topic that has been explored more on the silver screen than in the science lab—researchers brought 88 pairs of undergraduate opposite-sex friends into…a science lab. Privacy was paramount—for example, imagine the fallout if two friends learned that one—and only one—had unspoken romantic feelings for the other throughout their relationship. In order to ensure honest responses, the researchers not only followed standard protocols regarding anonymity and confidentiality, but also required both friends to agree—verbally, and in front of each other—to refrain from discussing the study, even after they had left the testing facility. These friendship pairs were then separated, and each member of each pair was asked a series of questions related to his or her romantic feelings (or lack thereof) toward the friend with whom they were taking the study. The results suggest large gender differences in how men and women experience opposite-sex friendships. Men were much more attracted to their female friends than vice versa. Men were also more likely than women to think that their opposite-sex friends were attracted to them—a clearly misguided belief. In fact, men’s estimates of how attractive they were to their female friends had virtually nothing to do with how these women actually felt, and almost everything to do with how the men themselves felt—basically, males assumed that any romantic attraction they experienced was mutual, and were blind to the actual level of romantic interest felt by their female friends. Women, too, were blind to the mindset of their opposite-sex friends; because females generally were not attracted to their male friends, they assumed that this lack of attraction was mutual. As a result, men consistently overestimated the level of attraction felt by their female friends and women consistently underestimated the level of attraction felt by their male friends. |
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From the news feed... Men and Women can't be just friends http://news.yahoo.com/men-women-cant-just-friends-140000101.html excerpt In order to investigate the viability of truly platonic opposite-sex friendships—a topic that has been explored more on the silver screen than in the science lab—researchers brought 88 pairs of undergraduate opposite-sex friends into…a science lab. Privacy was paramount—for example, imagine the fallout if two friends learned that one—and only one—had unspoken romantic feelings for the other throughout their relationship. In order to ensure honest responses, the researchers not only followed standard protocols regarding anonymity and confidentiality, but also required both friends to agree—verbally, and in front of each other—to refrain from discussing the study, even after they had left the testing facility. These friendship pairs were then separated, and each member of each pair was asked a series of questions related to his or her romantic feelings (or lack thereof) toward the friend with whom they were taking the study. The results suggest large gender differences in how men and women experience opposite-sex friendships. Men were much more attracted to their female friends than vice versa. Men were also more likely than women to think that their opposite-sex friends were attracted to them—a clearly misguided belief. In fact, men’s estimates of how attractive they were to their female friends had virtually nothing to do with how these women actually felt, and almost everything to do with how the men themselves felt—basically, males assumed that any romantic attraction they experienced was mutual, and were blind to the actual level of romantic interest felt by their female friends. Women, too, were blind to the mindset of their opposite-sex friends; because females generally were not attracted to their male friends, they assumed that this lack of attraction was mutual. As a result, men consistently overestimated the level of attraction felt by their female friends and women consistently underestimated the level of attraction felt by their male friends. Good article Slow...And you know what, no surprises here...I had a best "guy" friend...I loved him like a brother, he loved me like a lover...Looking back, I don't know how he managed to hang in platonically for twenty-two years, but he did....The article is sad in a way because I think men and women who are able to pull off being best friends WITHOUT benefits have the opportunity to learn so very much from each other...These types of relationships just might be the most complicated, making them very hard to maintain over the long run... 
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Largely I agree. But, men and women can be friends if there's no sexual attraction between them.
I've also been friends with female coworkers. But, I'd NEVER date a coworker. |
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Meh... I have tons of male friends.
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some of my best friends are women
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From the news feed... Men and Women can't be just friends http://news.yahoo.com/men-women-cant-just-friends-140000101.html excerpt In order to investigate the viability of truly platonic opposite-sex friendships—a topic that has been explored more on the silver screen than in the science lab—researchers brought 88 pairs of undergraduate opposite-sex friends into…a science lab. Privacy was paramount—for example, imagine the fallout if two friends learned that one—and only one—had unspoken romantic feelings for the other throughout their relationship. In order to ensure honest responses, the researchers not only followed standard protocols regarding anonymity and confidentiality, but also required both friends to agree—verbally, and in front of each other—to refrain from discussing the study, even after they had left the testing facility. These friendship pairs were then separated, and each member of each pair was asked a series of questions related to his or her romantic feelings (or lack thereof) toward the friend with whom they were taking the study. The results suggest large gender differences in how men and women experience opposite-sex friendships. Men were much more attracted to their female friends than vice versa. Men were also more likely than women to think that their opposite-sex friends were attracted to them—a clearly misguided belief. In fact, men’s estimates of how attractive they were to their female friends had virtually nothing to do with how these women actually felt, and almost everything to do with how the men themselves felt—basically, males assumed that any romantic attraction they experienced was mutual, and were blind to the actual level of romantic interest felt by their female friends. Women, too, were blind to the mindset of their opposite-sex friends; because females generally were not attracted to their male friends, they assumed that this lack of attraction was mutual. As a result, men consistently overestimated the level of attraction felt by their female friends and women consistently underestimated the level of attraction felt by their male friends. That is not a good situation for the men. I have experienced this before too. I felt bad for hurting him but I did not realize that he felt that way. |
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I call bs on this. I definitely have male friends who are only friends.
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If this was true, then we wouldn't have male friends. Sounds like another excuse for a battle of the sex's arguement. I wouldn't want a guy after me if I was already in a relationship. I feel sorry for whoever wrote that article. They must want to sleep around pretty badly.
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Great article!...I've run into some of this "stuff" in the past...In fact it happened to me just a few months ago too...One of my male neighbors has always been a "family friend." He knew my husband and son...I always felt "safe" with him because I thought he knew I just wanted to be friends with him...I didn't see him all the time. But when we did run into each other everything went "good." He always asked about my son...His wife passed away about 7 years ago. It sounds like he had a happy marriage. And he knew that I still missed my husband...One day he reached over and gave me a hug and tried to kiss me. He mumbled something. I think he was talking about "taking care" of me. And said that we were meant to be together or ???...I was in shock! His actions were totally out of character!...He seemed surprised that I didn't feel the same way about him too!...It was a bit awkward after that..I avoided him for several months. But I finally decided to give him another chance. I went over and told him my son died. He was sad. And he was a "good friend."... And we've been "just friends" ever since. (When we run into each other.)
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To all the women that say they have male friends; If you called those guys up and invited them over for sex, do you think they'd say yes?
Most male friends are only hanging around hoping you'll change your mind about them and see them as good boyfriend material. These men are not your friends. They won't be happy for you when you tell them about the great guy you started going out with. They only do favors for you attempting to prove to you that you need them. I'm not saying you shouldn't take advantage of them. It is free labor after all, so be my guest. But, you are using them in the same way many men use women just for sex. You are leading them on and it's dishonest. |
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To all the women that say they have male friends; If you called those guys up and invited them over for sex, do you think they'd say yes? he'd say no. i'm three hundred fifty seven percent sure of it. |
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Edited by
navygirl
on
Wed 10/24/12 01:21 PM
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Well, I have lots of male friends and that is what they are. They are more like brothers to me than anything else and me being a Tomboy; we get along great. So, if you are mature enough; you can be just friends with the opposite sex.
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Well, I have lots of male friends and that is what they are. They are more like brothers to me than anything else and me being a Tomboy; we get along great. So, if you are mature enough; you can be just friends with the opposite sex. Try asking one of them if they'd have sex with you. |
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Well, I have lots of male friends and that is what they are. They are more like brothers to me than anything else and me being a Tomboy; we get along great. So, if you are mature enough; you can be just friends with the opposite sex. Try asking one of them if they'd have sex with you. Actually; that topic did come up and all they did was laugh and say no way. |
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Actually; that topic did come up and all they did was laugh and say no way. Then you've found some good friends. |
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Actually; that topic did come up and all they did was laugh and say no way. Then you've found some good friends. Yes; I have. I would lay down my life for them and would trust my life with them. They are rare which is why I treasure them. |
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There is no way a study of just 88 people can be viable, much less accurate.
I agree and disagree to a point, sure, friendship can be hard when there is attraction between one or the other...But to limit human capability so much as to say it cannot be done is just stupid, for lack of a better word. |
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See I can't take this seriously either. I mean if any of my female friends asked me if I wanted sex I'd likely say yes on the fact that its sex.
 Seriously though I'm not the type to make a move on a friend like that. But if sex is offered more than likely most single guys wont turn it down. So the study has a flaw in its logic to begin with. Kinda a no brainer there.
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