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Topic: M & W Can't be "Just Friends"
Hikerjohn's photo
Wed 10/31/12 05:28 AM
Wait. Does that mean Ill have to wait another 5 years before you make that offer again?


Let me re think this. . . . . . . . .

navygirl's photo
Wed 10/31/12 09:34 AM

I was surprised to see that no ladies talked about actually being attracted to a friend but not allowing it to go anywhere because you cherish the friendship. I do this.

I have friends I am attracted to that I don't make moves on for various reasons. Some I find it very hard not to be turned on by. Others I can control myself just fine. If she is available and I am attracted, I tend to let it be known.


One gal friend I have been attracted to for years before I met her. I now am great friends with her and she is head over heals with her boyfriend. I would peruse here if she wasn't but I would never attempt to distract her from her boyfriend now because she wants that relationship. Thats me being her friend. Yet we do things together all the time. Weekly. My choice to not act on my attraction doesn't make her less attractive. I value our friendship and desire her to be happy.

I say this alot. It goes back to a choice. Both for ladies and men. If you want to truly have friends, then you chose to respect the other persons wants and desires as much as your own.

So ladies. How many of your friends are you attracted to yet you would not sleep with because you don't want to loose the friendship.



I don't have any friends that I am attracted to so this scenario would not be a problem. They are also attracted to women their age so again; I don't have that problem either.

TBRich's photo
Wed 10/31/12 09:58 AM
I have a difficult time being friends with women; one took me by surprise and told me that if I didn't "do something soon" I would get stuck in the "friend zone"; I told her that was what I wanted and have seen her in 5 years. If I am interested in something else, I let them know and go for it; this site is good in that I can talk to women and not fall into that. I value female friends and it is not just to call and ask how do you get chewing gum out of the clothes dryer.

PacificStar48's photo
Wed 10/31/12 12:25 PM
Hmmm I think over the years probably my closest friends have been guys. Might be for years living in male dominated areas around military bases or being Mom to sons but I don't find the competition element ever coming up with male friends and that just makes being friends with males easier. When I have a male friend the whole thing about territory never comes up when they get a girlfriend and I never have to be careful about being caught unawares with some rare ******* that thinks his wife's friends are his fringe benifits. Turn them down cold it never goes well because they usually can't just accept it and invariably it "burns" the friendship with their wife. (So you gals out there wonder why your female friends avoid your "charming & perfect" husband; heads up.)

I now have an older lady I consider a close friend a few years now and one other friend I have kept in touch with over the years but just to go do something and hang out usually a guy. Probably related to the fact that a lot of my hobbies are things that appeal to guys; fishing, camping, hunting, photography, carpentry, remodeling, landscapeing, muscle cars so I get invited to go along. I could care less about fashion, or getting the girl girly stuff done so . Part of it is I just have a lot of superficial friends because moving so much in my younger adult years I got used to being alone.

I will say that my feelings contradict the study because most of my male friends I do find VERY sexually attractive but just consistently "check" those feelings because their friendship is more important to me than enjoying a fun boink that would more than likely mess up the relationship. I try to be courteous and not put my male friends in "uncomfortable" or "confuseing" situations where I hug-up on them or say things that would send a message that I have those feelings. Nobody likes to be teased or their feelings played with.

I understand a male friend questioning "why not me", just like women do, and have a few times had that conversation, which usually takes some time to settle in amd get back to normal, but usually I have been lucky enough to have the conversation when it is clear by their or my situation that a significant other has that part of life covered.

My experience is FWB Neeeeever works because someone doesn't want to settle for just friendship. And it is not always the Gal. Guys can say they don't mind "shareing" or not being "The One" if FWB starts but I have never seen it happen that the guy who is "just" and FWB doesn't resent it when the gal moves on. And FWB trashes ever going back to Friends. And I have yet to meet the man that is comfortable with having an EX FWB or any other "lover" in their partners close circle and I can't say I would blame them.

One thing I have never really reconcilled is when you have opposite sex friends that same sex friends seem to never really accept it. They don't want to hang out together unless it is an opportunity to "mingle" on a hookup level. Sometimes if everyone is "coupled" but God for bid you include a single opposite sex friend in a gathering it is like trying to mix oil and water.

MariahsFantasy's photo
Thu 11/01/12 05:05 PM






Well, I have lots of male friends and that is what they are. They are more like brothers to me than anything else and me being a Tomboy; we get along great. So, if you are mature enough; you can be just friends with the opposite sex.


Try asking one of them if they'd have sex with you.


They all said yes. I lose on this one.


Well clearly we are not friends cause I don't remember you asking me. frown



:tongue:


I only pull this out every 5 years or so...WILL you please with cherries on top have sex with me?

Don't worry, VD only comes with Jessica Alba, I'm careful with natural selection.



Wellll. I was hoping we could just be friends. drinks



Being friends with me will change anyone's life for the greater good. Of course! bigsmile

Hikerjohn's photo
Fri 11/02/12 09:21 PM
It already has. flowerforyou

s1owhand's photo
Thu 11/15/12 03:03 PM
FAQ bump!

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