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| Topic: The tangled web we weave | |
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Online, in these forums anyway, you can meet some really cool people.
If you do meet someone, and have some interest and chemistry, but they are far away. Knowing you have some responsibility keeping you where your at. Ie. I have two younger daughters that need me around. So I can't just uproot, like I may if things were different. How do YOU approach this? Or you met someone, get along well and but a romantic chemistry doesn't come in to play, do you feel the need to spell it out to them? Is it wrong or right to chat but make no promises for something further? Thoughts? |
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Sometimes you just make friends. And sometimes you are lucky and become close...but one of you has to move. There is no set answer for this imo.
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Its a sad situation for sure. Not everyone can just uproot. I have met some very sweet guys but they are just too far. I have to keep telling myself that I wont get emotionally involved and just be their friend.
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Honestly if they do no live within my area to be able to have a face to face relationship. Then it is based on a friendship only...
Since I'm in a position that I have no intentions of moving due to my family, my kids and grand kids are all here...And my home is paid for.... My roots are deep.... I pretty much tell anyone if they contact me I'm only seeking those that live within my area... I will make friends with those within the forums and have a few through e-mails... But they know it is friends only... I love meeting those I have gotten to know through e-mail and the forums for we have always had a great time.... |
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Online, in these forums anyway, you can meet some really cool people. If you do meet someone, and have some interest and chemistry, but they are far away. Knowing you have some responsibility keeping you where your at. Ie. I have two younger daughters that need me around. So I can't just uproot, like I may if things were different. How do YOU approach this? Or you met someone, get along well and but a romantic chemistry doesn't come in to play, do you feel the need to spell it out to them? Is it wrong or right to chat but make no promises for something further? Thoughts? I think you have to be honest with yourself from the start. If you do not wish to relocate, do you really want to look for a partner elsewhere in the hope they are prepared to come to you, because at the end of the day you will want to be together. If I find there is no romantic interest between us, or the distance apart is too great, I prefer to tell them because I am looking for something more than just friendship in the long term. |
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Its a sad situation for sure. Not everyone can just uproot. I have met some very sweet guys but they are just too far. I have to keep telling myself that I wont get emotionally involved and just be their friend. For me it just depends... sometimes it kind of makes it less attractive if the live far... but then again if I really liked her and got the feeling it was vice versa I prolly do a LDR. |
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I think being honest is always the best route. Lying, or not letting them know what is going on solves nothing and is very childesh to say the least.
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I think being honest is always the best route. Lying, or not letting them know what is going on solves nothing and is very childesh to say the least. Ok, I get that, but those are two different scenarios I posted. So if your only just friends, not flirting or feeling chemistry, and at a far distance, what's there to let them know? I'm a liar, so it seems, my desire, justify everything.... The details aren't always so clear, I do communicate, but have had some major issues in my family with the death of my Mom. Priorities come first, before casual friendships. Maybe I'm just an azz. Judge, what you will. |
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Online, in these forums anyway, you can meet some really cool people. If you do meet someone, and have some interest and chemistry, but they are far away. Knowing you have some responsibility keeping you where your at. Ie. I have two younger daughters that need me around. So I can't just uproot, like I may if things were different. How do YOU approach this? Or you met someone, get along well and but a romantic chemistry doesn't come in to play, do you feel the need to spell it out to them? Is it wrong or right to chat but make no promises for something further? Thoughts? I agree and yes |
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Most online men do not want a "relationship" with someone too far away that is not within a short drive. It is hard for me to meet Online men it takes a while because ALL the men I meet travel, I am fortunate to meet them it usually takes a couple months. I am talking to a nice man now. Nothing from Mingle though.
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Online, in these forums anyway, you can meet some really cool people. If you do meet someone, and have some interest and chemistry, but they are far away. Knowing you have some responsibility keeping you where your at. Ie. I have two younger daughters that need me around. So I can't just uproot, like I may if things were different. How do YOU approach this? Or you met someone, get along well and but a romantic chemistry doesn't come in to play, do you feel the need to spell it out to them? Is it wrong or right to chat but make no promises for something further? Thoughts? , give it time. that is my advice. since there is chemistry you may want to rush things but, internet chemistry can be false. You have two baby gals so just take it slow. If the woman is pressuring you to meet, then let her travel to you, to a close neutral area. Just be careful...and there is nothing wrong with being direct and assured about these conditions because until you finally do meet, the gal you have chemistry with could be fooling you...and making a fool of you. |
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You don't have to have it ALL figured out immediately.
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I think being honest is always the best route. Lying, or not letting them know what is going on solves nothing and is very childesh to say the least. Ok, I get that, but those are two different scenarios I posted. So if your only just friends, not flirting or feeling chemistry, and at a far distance, what's there to let them know? I'm a liar, so it seems, my desire, justify everything.... The details aren't always so clear, I do communicate, but have had some major issues in my family with the death of my Mom. Priorities come first, before casual friendships. Maybe I'm just an azz. Judge, what you will. there is nothing wrong with arranging to meet, but I agree that until you have met and know for certain what's what, it is not necessary or wise to impact your personal responsibilities at home. Now if, after meeting, you & she were to fall madly in love and you wanted a commitment, that relationship would have to be prioritized somehow if you really want it to work. and there is nothing wrong with that. but I think if you pursue something long distance you should do so knowing that you might face that decision. if you know NOW that no matter what you are not going to commit to making it work, you should not lead her on....jmho I just always hope personally, to be in a place where I can put love first if I find it  
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I don't think you're being an *** AT ALL :). You are nothing but nice to people on these forums. If I was in your position, I would try not to think of the outcome. Sometimes we rush situations, if they take over our mind. Just try not to hurry it. I would keep it at a 50/50 level, meaning whatever it may result in, I won't let it upset me if I don't get the outcome I'd hoped for. If that makes any sense at all.
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I don't think you're being an *** AT ALL :). You are nothing but nice to people on these forums. If I was in your position, I would try not to think of the outcome. Sometimes we rush situations, if they take over our mind. Just try not to hurry it. I would keep it at a 50/50 level, meaning whatever it may result in, I won't let it upset me if I don't get the outcome I'd hoped for. If that makes any sense at all. ya it makes sense what other choice is there really? |
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Online, in these forums anyway, you can meet some really cool people. If you do meet someone, and have some interest and chemistry, but they are far away. Knowing you have some responsibility keeping you where your at. Ie. I have two younger daughters that need me around. So I can't just uproot, like I may if things were different. How do YOU approach this? Or you met someone, get along well and but a romantic chemistry doesn't come in to play, do you feel the need to spell it out to them? Is it wrong or right to chat but make no promises for something further? Thoughts? , give it time. that is my advice. since there is chemistry you may want to rush things but, internet chemistry can be false. You have two baby gals so just take it slow. If the woman is pressuring you to meet, then let her travel to you, to a close neutral area. Just be careful...and there is nothing wrong with being direct and assured about these conditions because until you finally do meet, the gal you have chemistry with could be fooling you...and making a fool of you. Yes, it takes time. No pressure from either of us. Maybe we'll meet, maybe we won't. I am not too sure. She not playing me, nor I her. We're just keeping it real, neither one's playing the fool. Thanks, for your input, all things considered. |
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You don't have to have it ALL figured out immediately. But we're both super geniuses....  Ok, maybe only her. Yes, your right it ain't all figured.....out or yet. Reality check....gotcha |
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I think being honest is always the best route. Lying, or not letting them know what is going on solves nothing and is very childesh to say the least. Ok, I get that, but those are two different scenarios I posted. So if your only just friends, not flirting or feeling chemistry, and at a far distance, what's there to let them know? I'm a liar, so it seems, my desire, justify everything.... The details aren't always so clear, I do communicate, but have had some major issues in my family with the death of my Mom. Priorities come first, before casual friendships. Maybe I'm just an azz. Judge, what you will. there is nothing wrong with arranging to meet, but I agree that until you have met and know for certain what's what, it is not necessary or wise to impact your personal responsibilities at home. Now if, after meeting, you & she were to fall madly in love and you wanted a commitment, that relationship would have to be prioritized somehow if you really want it to work. and there is nothing wrong with that. but I think if you pursue something long distance you should do so knowing that you might face that decision. if you know NOW that no matter what you are not going to commit to making it work, you should not lead her on....jmho I just always hope personally, to be in a place where I can put love first if I find it Yes, makes good sense. She's pretty awesome, so getting to know her has been drawing me in. I didn't think to ever do LDR. The pool of lady's here in OC california, is a large pool, and I don't find it tough to meet or go out and have fun. But sometimes connections can getcha thinking a bit. I liked your last line. Catch 22. We meet and really dig each other? or just leave it alone and stay friends online....What will be, will be. I hold no expectations. It all matters on her too. Just thought this would be an interesting topic....But, I think some here, are afraid of spiders... 
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Honestly if they do no live within my area to be able to have a face to face relationship. Then it is based on a friendship only... Since I'm in a position that I have no intentions of moving due to my family, my kids and grand kids are all here...And my home is paid for.... My roots are deep.... I pretty much tell anyone if they contact me I'm only seeking those that live within my area... I will make friends with those within the forums and have a few through e-mails... But they know it is friends only... I love meeting those I have gotten to know through e-mail and the forums for we have always had a great time.... Your sound very balanced, in tune, and seem to keep your emotion in check? So far it's going this route. Who knows. |
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I don't think you're being an *** AT ALL :). You are nothing but nice to people on these forums. If I was in your position, I would try not to think of the outcome. Sometimes we rush situations, if they take over our mind. Just try not to hurry it. I would keep it at a 50/50 level, meaning whatever it may result in, I won't let it upset me if I don't get the outcome I'd hoped for. If that makes any sense at all. Yes, Rawrr girl, I completely get it. Thanks for the kind words. Sometimes i can be pretty sarcastic, so I am not always sure how others read into that.... There is no rush, and it seems good. We are keeping it cool. Thanks again.
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