all the things that past relationships have brought you?
I've noticed quite a lot of ppl here are bitter about their exes, and in spite of that they are looking for a new partner.
I don't think you are ready for a new relationship if you're still that bitter about an ex.
So do you also see the good that past relationships have brought you, even though it didn't end well or maybe wasn't the relationship you had hoped for?

I've learned to not be such a b--tch, so yeah, I've learned a lot from the past.

Good topic, Crystal.

I honestly can't say my past relationships have brought anything to me but then again; I am smart enough not to try and have a relationship or date knowing how I feel, so I am not hurting anyone. What bothers me are the bitter ones that continue to date while they feel this way as they end up hurting others and I know that from experience. I think they should remove themselves from the dating scene until they can resolve their issues.

My last relationship was both the best and the worst relationship one could be in. A typical narcissistic relationship; first they worship you like a goddess and you think you're in heaven, then they start tearing you down bit by bit.
I've had every form of abuse you can think of, the manipulation was horrific, one minute you're having a real good laugh, the next minute you find yourself in the worst domestic ever. But it's because of all the bad stuff that went down that I became stronger and stronger. It got me thinking about relationships, communication etc and I learned what it is I want (we usually know what we don't want, but not what we do want).
I got out and now I'm happier, stronger, more self-secure and confident than I've ever been in my entire life. I'm really beaming (not being arrogant, everyone tells me so, but I can see it myself as well).
Even though he's a real @ss, I'm still grateful for all the good things we did have and all that I learned from the really really bad stuff. (there's more that I'm not telling)
I've forgiven him.
So to me it's real weird that some ppl get stuck in being bitter, don't see the good that they got out of it. It is there, you just gotta open your eyes to see it.

Nope, i'm not bitter about exes. I just move forward, not back! Got that contract by the way Crystal. Took my mum out for her dinner to celebrate!

Great! Congratulations!

Yeah; I went through a few relationships like that Crystal and one guy even hit me from behind as I was recovering from a crippling car accident. He did some permanent damage to my neck and could have broken my neck but I got lucky. I did forgive him but I never took him back. I won't ever turn my back on any man and I won't ever trust again in a relationship but I do trust my male friends whom I have the upmost respect for.

Thats me hiring now. Want a job?

I'm grateful for all of the good times that I had with the women that came into my life and I look at them as learning experiences.

For five long years I was angry with my ex because of the way that it ended and because of stuff she put me through but I made friends with her again after a breakup with another woman and we talked things through and I guess that I got what they call closure at last. She's let go of whatever it was that made her the way that she was when we were together and when I tell her about some of the things that she did she says that she doesn't really remember them but that she's sorry about them and sorry that it didn't work out. She does remember the good times though and that's nice.

This Summer another woman came into my life and it was a real roller coaster ride with her. Don't know if I'll ever hear from her again but I hope that she's alright and I'm not bitter about it not going the way that I hoped, or for the way that she messed me about because I think that I understand why she's the way that she is and it isn't her fault or mine.

My ex was always telling me that I have to change if I want a woman and she still does that sometimes. She did give me a lot of abuse but I believe that she meant well and she says that we must have met for a reason and that she wants to help me.

Also, the sex was great and it's all experience.

Yes! I'll make the coffee cakes and pies for the men. H*ck, I can even do steak & kidney pie and Yorkshire puddings!

@ Navygirl,

Ha ha, so can I ! Could get you a job with my mum on 1 of her snack bars though? You work for me you're on the roofs with the lads Crystal? €120 a day though?

It seems somewhat ironic that you should post the same words I was just relaying to someone I am messaging right now. Your experiences are almost exactly like mine. Probably the only difference is that I had to support my three kids by myself without any assistance from their father. I too believe unless we get unstuck from the past we cannot move forward or be the type of person we would like to become unless we unload the past with its tears, bitterness, hopelessness and anger. I also have forgiven everyone in my past as I have realized the only person who feels the hurt of unforgiveness is the one who chooses not to forgive. Each relationship has made me a better person because it has made me realize what I can or cannot have in my life. I live at peace and contentment because I do not carry the emotional baggage we often times carry. Personally, I'm glad I am who I am today. Great topic Crystal!

Me and a certain ex are best buddies. Why? Because we just get on so well. Like two pea's in a pod. We constantly make each other laugh, which is what keeps us stuck together like glue. I don't think I could have met a nicer guy :)

Other ex's are more easy to let go of, because some were only in my life a few month.

So very true! And some ppl realize that it works that way, but still can't forgive ... It's not one of life's easiest lessons.

@ Larss, I'm definitely willing to sit on a roof with the lads for 120 quid a day!! When can I start? He|| I'll even throw in a push-up bra, stockings and still do the coffee!

hi Crystal,,,,,i seem's like everyone is driving while looking in there rear view mirror….its so hard to really see the person in front of us as they really are……using yesterdays yardstick…..for me it hurts the most when i see close friends and family make bad choices…….some grow,,,[it still hurts] some don't…when one makes it ,,,it helps restore my faith……have a great day…..

I agree,good topic

I can definitely see the good; the no good for nothing;
no I'm not bitter; there was my deepest
love(Bless her soul) we buried her 8'ft
instead or 6'
No I'm not bitter, then there was K_m
she always brings a smile to my face
knowing that she spends 8-10 hours a day
flying an air craft and another 8h sleeping,
She was a good girl,just no g_d dam good on earth.

And my wife, I learnt so much off of her,and
such a good house keeper; she kept it!

no I'm not bitten.
"Here's to me and here's to you
and if some day we disagree
then here's to me and the f_ _ _ with you!

(This part is real) I said in a thread that I was
happily married yesterday and that's true.
I said that it's been great since 2006 and that's
true. I didn't mention that I hadn't seen
her since August of 2005.
I remain happily married to this day with all the perks.

yes take the good lessons and move your new found
wisdom forward,but be careful not to glorify the
good times if it was ugly in the end; much like a
recovering Alcoholic/Addict

No probs. Need to get your CSCS card sorted out 1st though, ok? After that, no bother!

Why? I just gotta sit on the roof with the lads, that's what you offered!!!

@ Pony, I'm sorry, but I never really get what you're getting at Not a dig, just being honest.

@ Sparkyae, yeah, not easy, we are all the produce of our pasts, but we gotta (try and) leave the bad stuff behind.

It still does amaze me how many ppl talk about their ex in a bad way. Here on Mingle too. And I might be wrong, but it's mostly men?

I am grateful for everybody that has come into my life. Things don't work out sometimes, but if everything worked out perfectly life would be mundane.

Of course I've learned a lot from past relationships good and bad ones. I have to say though we always seem to learn a lot more from failure lol.