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| Topic: needing helpful suggestions | |
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True love doesnt come easily ..and truely not all men love plump women ..but i guess you should hang on and am sure the right hunnie pie will come your way ...dear
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If only I looked like you, OP. I'm surprised there aren't more men throwing themselve's at you. Please don't take that the wrong way ;)
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Ok, so before I begin I want to warn you its one of those nights. Doesnt happen all too often but.. nevertheless here I go. I have gotten so very tired of the dating world, although here practically in it.. I get little if any messages... and i might know why... it just sucks its possibly the only reason.. if you look at my pictures you can see... I a not skinny fit or thin.. and so many guys I come across are looking or wanting just that. That is why I am having such a hard time staying on here. Just a dang reminder that I am still single.... and no one wants...... a bigger girl. I have been on track with losing the weight and have lost some, but nights like these are no help. I am admitting this freely so all can know.. this year alone I have cried more tears than any years prior. ok. guilt kicking in. I am sorry for being such a sobb, and have been whining. I am done. I am on the verge of just giving it all up dating, relationships etc. anyway. good night. i probably already scared away more than enough people might as well make it count :P lol Exactly!! I saw that thread too-saying goodbye,not coming back,starting a blog,etc,etc.. Then just a day or two afterwards,you zoomed back in! That made me think something is terribly amiss deep inside or something like that... Inner Instability affects us much more than anything! Ok saw this again.. I'm not unstable at all! I went off to try blog elsewhere then on here the moderators deleted where I'd gone.. But I came back because the people.. Try to read my other posts before you go off assuming RUDE! |
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Ok, so I can say this: thank you to those who were POSITIVE and not coming down like a ton of bricks... I like suggestions but when your nothing but over critical.... And I have to say.. My daughter is not who I rely on. She is the most amazing child but never do I rely on her. What's funny is that wow! I'm fine now, I hadnt been sleeping well the past few weeks and last night it showed ...
So again.. If you feel like being over critical read all my posts before you make rediculous assumptions . Thank you to who's said lovely words hugs to you guys I appreciate it! |
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Ok, so I can say this: thank you to those who were POSITIVE and not coming down like a ton of bricks... I like suggestions but when your nothing but over critical.... And I have to say.. My daughter is not who I rely on. She is the most amazing child but never do I rely on her. What's funny is that wow! I'm fine now, I hadnt been sleeping well the past few weeks and last night it showed ... So again.. If you feel like being over critical read all my posts before you make rediculous assumptions . Thank you to who's said lovely words hugs to you guys I appreciate it! Just want to say.. just take the good bits and work from there, leave the negative comments unles you want to make positive changes from it. |
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Ok, so I can say this: thank you to those who were POSITIVE and not coming down like a ton of bricks... I like suggestions but when your nothing but over critical.... And I have to say.. My daughter is not who I rely on. She is the most amazing child but never do I rely on her. What's funny is that wow! I'm fine now, I hadnt been sleeping well the past few weeks and last night it showed ... So again.. If you feel like being over critical read all my posts before you make rediculous assumptions . Thank you to who's said lovely words hugs to you guys I appreciate it! I think someone just said that's the way they interpreted something on your profile, as they were hoping to offer you advice in case it was something on there that may be holding you back. As I understand it, all comments were meant to help and were mostly just responses to this post or your profile. It's unfortunate you feel targeted but try not to worry overly about that. I'm glad you're feeling a lot calmer now and hope things continue to improve for you. |
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Ok, so I can say this: thank you to those who were POSITIVE and not coming down like a ton of bricks... I like suggestions but when your nothing but over critical.... And I have to say.. My daughter is not who I rely on. She is the most amazing child but never do I rely on her. What's funny is that wow! I'm fine now, I hadnt been sleeping well the past few weeks and last night it showed ... So again.. If you feel like being over critical read all my posts before you make rediculous assumptions . Thank you to who's said lovely words hugs to you guys I appreciate it! I think someone just said that's the way they interpreted something on your profile, as they were hoping to offer you advice in case it was something on there that may be holding you back. As I understand it, all comments were meant to help and were mostly just responses to this post or your profile. It's unfortunate you feel targeted but try not to worry overly about that. I'm glad you're feeling a lot calmer now and hope things continue to improve for you. 
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If all you want is positive re-enforcement and someone to tell you what you want to hear then put up an "I need a hug" post in Well wishes forum or state straight up you are just trying to get seen and want your 15 seconds of exposure.
If you want the truth and an honest rating so you have some perspective how what you put out there lands then take what you get here and actually apply it instead of doing what you admit is not working. Most of your comments in this thread have been extream in kindness and generosity. The few negative ones have even been favorable in as much as they come of paternal. I am not so inclined to candy coat what I see is someone who clearly is all over the place in her mood and statements of what she wants. Maybe that is sleep deprivated related dementia or some other physical of mental or chemical induced issue but you need more help than you are going to get on a computer dating site. Thankfully it is readily available where you live. OR you are a grad student at PAC university and you are writing a persona for a psyche paper. What I will give you is it is text book this is a messed up person and lets see how the cyber community responds. So here is my two cents worth. Take it or leave it. I could care less because I smell fish and it is about three days old. Here goes... What I am seeing is a profile of a 30 year old adult who demands attention then repeatedly rejects it. Maybe a condition response maybe not. A person who refuses to take a compliment. A person who seems to have some grandiose ideas about blogging and how to fashion an identity that is not even offered in this venue. A person who has purposefully isolated herself and alienates all efforts to have community extended to her. If she is a functioning self sustaining adult it is not evident in her pattern of posts or identification of friends or co-workers. She seems oblivious to personal safety or known risks telling too much too soon to total strangers; targeting herself for ridicule and abuse. I see a self perception of an appearance that is well with in normal limits, even superior to most norms, so far out of reality that I would recommend immediate counseling if not for her sake but for a same sex minor child that will suffer greatly being indoctrinated with such unwarranted hyper critical self loathing. I see someone who lives in a decidedly male rich environment, I have lived where you live, and sees men as the enemy when in fact by majority the ones that are readily available are better educated, healthier, more stable, and more considerate than the average population. No they are not going to abandon career or have a lot of sympathy for a negative childish blame the world attitude that wants their undivided attention but a woman who can't find a decent man there is sure not going to get one on line where the competition is much more fierce. I see a profile (and posts) that screams self pity, depression, and dysfunction and it is such a complete social disaster I am not in the least surprised with the results. I predict that this input will be resoundingly rejected. The account will be again be deleted in a fit of anger. And will reappear as often as it serves the purpose of eliciting attention, sympathy, or money by a bored adult that can not comprehend that sooner or later she will be recognized and ignored. |
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No matter what you post, you are going to see someone post and think..wow she really is a bytch. I know this is your post and some things that I have read I just thought wow I wish I was as perfect as you are!
You have people that are going to be negative and then you have people that are going to be positive. You just have some people that you can't stand...just ignore them and hopefully they will go away. Just remember you will always have those that know everything..so just live your life and don't worry about what the perfect people on this site think of you. 
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No matter what you post, you are going to see someone post and think..wow she really is a bytch. I know this is your post and some things that I have read I just thought wow I wish I was as perfect as you are! You have people that are going to be negative and then you have people that are going to be positive. You just have some people that you can't stand...just ignore them and hopefully they will go away. Just remember you will always have those that know everything..so just live your life and don't worry about what the perfect people on this site think of you. This. |
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No matter what you post, you are going to see someone post and think..wow she really is a bytch. I know this is your post and some things that I have read I just thought wow I wish I was as perfect as you are! You have people that are going to be negative and then you have people that are going to be positive. You just have some people that you can't stand...just ignore them and hopefully they will go away. Just remember you will always have those that know everything..so just live your life and don't worry about what the perfect people on this site think of you. This. THANK YOU...IT IS GOOD TO KNOW THAT I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE THAT FEELS THIS WAY!! 
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If all you want is positive re-enforcement and someone to tell you what you want to hear then put up an "I need a hug" post in Well wishes forum or state straight up you are just trying to get seen and want your 15 seconds of exposure. If you want the truth and an honest rating so you have some perspective how what you put out there lands then take what you get here and actually apply it instead of doing what you admit is not working. Most of your comments in this thread have been extream in kindness and generosity. The few negative ones have even been favorable in as much as they come of paternal. I am not so inclined to candy coat what I see is someone who clearly is all over the place in her mood and statements of what she wants. Maybe that is sleep deprivated related dementia or some other physical of mental or chemical induced issue but you need more help than you are going to get on a computer dating site. Thankfully it is readily available where you live. OR you are a grad student at PAC university and you are writing a persona for a psyche paper. What I will give you is it is text book this is a messed up person and lets see how the cyber community responds. So here is my two cents worth. Take it or leave it. I could care less because I smell fish and it is about three days old. Here goes... What I am seeing is a profile of a 30 year old adult who demands attention then repeatedly rejects it. Maybe a condition response maybe not. A person who refuses to take a compliment. A person who seems to have some grandiose ideas about blogging and how to fashion an identity that is not even offered in this venue. A person who has purposefully isolated herself and alienates all efforts to have community extended to her. If she is a functioning self sustaining adult it is not evident in her pattern of posts or identification of friends or co-workers. She seems oblivious to personal safety or known risks telling too much too soon to total strangers; targeting herself for ridicule and abuse. I see a self perception of an appearance that is well with in normal limits, even superior to most norms, so far out of reality that I would recommend immediate counseling if not for her sake but for a same sex minor child that will suffer greatly being indoctrinated with such unwarranted hyper critical self loathing. I see someone who lives in a decidedly male rich environment, I have lived where you live, and sees men as the enemy when in fact by majority the ones that are readily available are better educated, healthier, more stable, and more considerate than the average population. No they are not going to abandon career or have a lot of sympathy for a negative childish blame the world attitude that wants their undivided attention but a woman who can't find a decent man there is sure not going to get one on line where the competition is much more fierce. I see a profile (and posts) that screams self pity, depression, and dysfunction and it is such a complete social disaster I am not in the least surprised with the results. I predict that this input will be resoundingly rejected. The account will be again be deleted in a fit of anger. And will reappear as often as it serves the purpose of eliciting attention, sympathy, or money by a bored adult that can not comprehend that sooner or later she will be recognized and ignored. You,Pacific,are always ON! Jmo |
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Ok, so before I begin I want to warn you its one of those nights. Doesnt happen all too often but.. nevertheless here I go. I have gotten so very tired of the dating world, although here practically in it.. I get little if any messages... and i might know why... it just sucks its possibly the only reason.. if you look at my pictures you can see... I a not skinny fit or thin.. and so many guys I come across are looking or wanting just that. That is why I am having such a hard time staying on here. Just a dang reminder that I am still single.... and no one wants...... a bigger girl. I have been on track with losing the weight and have lost some, but nights like these are no help. I am admitting this freely so all can know.. this year alone I have cried more tears than any years prior. ok. guilt kicking in. I am sorry for being such a sobb, and have been whining. I am done. I am on the verge of just giving it all up dating, relationships etc. anyway. good night. i probably already scared away more than enough people might as well make it count :P lol Exactly!! I saw that thread too-saying goodbye,not coming back,starting a blog,etc,etc.. Then just a day or two afterwards,you zoomed back in! That made me think something is terribly amiss deep inside or something like that... Inner Instability affects us much more than anything! Ok saw this again.. I'm not unstable at all! I went off to try blog elsewhere then on here the moderators deleted where I'd gone.. But I came back because the people.. Try to read my other posts before you go off assuming RUDE! Well,you asked for sugestions...and,inner instability doesn't mean mental either! But,am glad I wasn't the only one who saw"something" amiss! The pics in your profile show a gorgeous woman-no where near big/fat/or what ever you call it... If you had confidence in that woman I saw in those pics,wow,you'd be a man magnet! Well-unless pics aren't recent!? |
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I am not so inclined to candy coat what I see is someone who clearly is all over the place in her mood and statements of what she wants. Maybe that is sleep deprivated related dementia or some other physical of mental or chemical induced issue but you need more help than you are going to get on a computer dating site. Thankfully it is readily available where you live. OR you are a grad student at PAC university and you are writing a persona for a psyche paper. What I will give you is it is text book this is a messed up person and lets see how the cyber community responds. So here is my two cents worth. Take it or leave it. I could care less because I smell fish and it is about three days old. Here goes... Pacific, if you were a fortune teller/psychic, I think I'd be scared to visit you. That said, I'd also be more inclined to believe what you have to say :P |
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If you don't want honest replies, you shouldn't ask for other people's opinions. I gave an opinion about one of your photos in another post you made about rating your profile, and you nearly bit my head off. I'm not sure what you're looking for here- pity? Validation? I'm not very good at validating other people, mainly because I have a tendency to be pretty hard on myself.
Most people here have told you that they think you're attractive, you just need to own it and try to work on having some self-confidence. Some have also pointed out that you need to decide what you want, and stop flip-flopping back and forth, here today, gone tomorrow. I'm the first person to say I love attractive people, I catch shiiit a lot because of that, because in this society, we're not (especially women) supposed to appreciate the physical aspect of someone, we're supposed to care about what they're like on the inside. In this case, I get that. Yes, you are pretty, but you need to accept criticism- when you ask for it- and you need to accept compliments when you get them, and you need to calm down and stop being so defensive. Not everyone is attacking you. I don't even know you, so I have no reason to attack you. I don't ask questions that I might not like the answer to, but if I did, I'd accept the replies I'm given and I'd try to move forward, I wouldn't get angry and lash out at people for being honest. I was hesitant to comment here, because I don't want you lashing out at me, but I figured maybe what I have to say to you would be helpful. Maybe. |
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So to everyone here. Not sure really how to spell this out. I wrote this post not to get pity or attain any 15 min of fame. I was pouring out my sad moment and frustrations. You guys act like youve never had a bad day. I am sorry I posted asking for suggestions. And I came back saying just looking for friends because I am for now. I have given up on the dating scene not for lack of replies or anything... Just as a personal decision. And before I leave this site for good I have two words for the posters on here with letter like responses... OVER OPINIONATED
I didn't even bother reading most of them. No wonder your on here replying to posters no one wants to listen to snarky over opinionated cranks with nothing better to do. And btw the posts from the females with nothing nice to say I laughed at. It's truly amazing that you took the time to write huge responses to which were preconditioned judgements. Long winded and all you wanted was everyone to hear you. And look at you. I'm not worried or upset about any of this I think I will make a great newspaper doc. "The cranky and over heard women of the forums" Thank you and good luck . |
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So to everyone here. Not sure really how to spell this out. I wrote this post not to get pity or attain any 15 min of fame. I was pouring out my sad moment and frustrations. You guys act like youve never had a bad day. I am sorry I posted asking for suggestions. And I came back saying just looking for friends because I am for now. I have given up on the dating scene not for lack of replies or anything... Just as a personal decision. And before I leave this site for good I have two words for the posters on here with letter like responses... OVER OPINIONATED I didn't even bother reading most of them. No wonder your on here replying to posters no one wants to listen to snarky over opinionated cranks with nothing better to do. And btw the posts from the females with nothing nice to say I laughed at. It's truly amazing that you took the time to write huge responses to which were preconditioned judgements. Long winded and all you wanted was everyone to hear you. And look at you. I'm not worried or upset about any of this I think I will make a great newspaper doc. "The cranky and over heard women of the forums" Thank you and good luck .  Ciao bella! |
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good one :)
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It's not always easy to open up in public.
Some people just don't know how to do it. Maybe this was her way in expressing herself in a really bad time. I know I have had bad days. As pretty or slim a person is the hurt is still the same and the low self asteam can be very bad. I'm just speculating, she sounds like she has deleted her profile. |
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It's not always easy to open up in public. Some people just don't know how to do it. Maybe this was her way in expressing herself in a really bad time. I know I have had bad days. As pretty or slim a person is the hurt is still the same and the low self asteam can be very bad. I'm just speculating, she sounds like she has deleted her profile. I agree. Maybe it was just easier for her to express herself on a forum. Some people feel really uncomfortable in an offlline situation, when surrounded by lots of people. I can relate to that. Maybe it WASN'T just our replies that made her react that way. We don't know. Maybe she was already having a bad day. We don't know her full life story. One of my sister's reacts in a similar way if she thinks anyone is trying to offend her. I would hate to think I added anything to her storming off. Just trying to understand. |
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