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| Topic: He's just not that into you.... | |
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Are there any ladies here who have read this book?
I haven't but it would have helped at the start of this dating thing! A lot of " He's just not that into you" seems to be common sense. In dating, however, I tended to give people the benefit of the doubt, And in recent I have Stopped doing that. It saves so much time and hurt feelings! For instance the phone thing... If he is content with texting and email ( REd Flag) A guy who is really into you would WANT to hear your sweet voice. Also, dating attire. If he wants to look his absolute BEST for you! He's hoping to make a good impression! Showing up with ripped jeans and dirty sneakers... meh, he doesn't care what you think. My intuition is NEVER wrong! Wanting him to be " Real" or who he says he is, I chose to ignore it... I'm willing to bet a lot of us ladies do this! Guys, what do you think of this book? Should it be required reading for all dating females? Or Did you prefer the mystery of us Not knowing what the hell is up with you? This is NOT A MAN BASHING THREAD! REPEAT NO MAN BASHING! |
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Haven't read it and don't plan to.
Personally, I prefer a proper chat to texting but I just hate texting and a lot of people think that it's great. I try to look and smell nice on a date but there's no acounting for taste and I think that the ripped jeans look is coming back. I've had women saying that they don't mind if I haven't shaved because the stubble is sexy and at the moment I'm just letting my hair grow. That's got nothing to do with being into a woman or not. I just look the way that I do and if they don't like it, then tough luck. |
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i have a different view... she's not that into me... why go though all of that crap when i already know this? how long do we beat our heads against the wall before we give up and go somewhere else? (there are lots of wall to beat our head against).
if your just sitting there waiting for him to call or say the right things, maybe this guy is sitting there waiting for the same thing? if shes not into you, shes just not into you... how much time should we waste on it? |
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Haven't read it and don't plan to. Personally, I prefer a proper chat to texting but I just hate texting and a lot of people think that it's great. I try to look and smell nice on a date but there's no acounting for taste and I think that the ripped jeans look is coming back. I've had women saying that they don't mind if I haven't shaved because the stubble is sexy and at the moment I'm just letting my hair grow. That's got nothing to do with being into a woman or not. I just look the way that I do and if they don't like it, then tough luck. Tawt, I think you can look how ever you feel comfortable, but it is safe to say, that if you aren't totally into this woman... some things you're not gonna give extra attention to... like,hmmm clean sneakers! |
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No. I saw the movie. I think when I was young I may have fallen for some of that stuff, but I got married fairly early and stuck with it, working on it, dealing with it until finally after 10 yrs, divorcing. I learned most of what it advises from that experience. If they arent good to you, leave. Dont waste 10 yrs working on it. Its not a match if they cant be good to you. That knowledge has kept me from becomming a man basher, actually. Its not his fault if he's not what you want, and its not yours if youre not what he wants. True... but a lot of people will try and try, when it comes to a marriage, simply because they don't want to feel that they have failed. But even then, in a marriage, some times we miss the signs that this guy/ girl is not into you... a match for you. |
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i have a different view... she's not that into me... why go though all of that crap when i already know this? how long do we beat our heads against the wall before we give up and go somewhere else? (there are lots of wall to beat our head against). if your just sitting there waiting for him to call or say the right things, maybe this guy is sitting there waiting for the same thing? if shes not into you, shes just not into you... how much time should we waste on it? BUT here's the kicker Moe... I think some women  , I have to include myself here, will ignore signs that this guy is NOT into her. ( let me clarify, I USE TO) Men, generally speaking, do not ignore the the " signs". If a woman never wants to speak on the phone... shows to a date with sweats and a baseball cap, you know straight off... " this girl is not into me" ( I have done this before) |
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i have a different view... she's not that into me... why go though all of that crap when i already know this? how long do we beat our heads against the wall before we give up and go somewhere else? (there are lots of wall to beat our head against). if your just sitting there waiting for him to call or say the right things, maybe this guy is sitting there waiting for the same thing? if shes not into you, shes just not into you... how much time should we waste on it? BUT here's the kicker Moe... I think some women , I have to include myself here, will ignore signs that this guy is NOT into her. ( let me clarify, I USE TO) Men, generally speaking, do not ignore the the " signs". If a woman never wants to speak on the phone... shows to a date with sweats and a baseball cap, you know straight off... " this girl is not into me" ( I have done this before) yea, well... if shes giving the effort to show up, then there is a chance... when she says no, or doesn't show up, then it's time to think about others... |
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No. I saw the movie. I think when I was young I may have fallen for some of that stuff, but I got married fairly early and stuck with it, working on it, dealing with it until finally after 10 yrs, divorcing. I learned most of what it advises from that experience. If they arent good to you, leave. Dont waste 10 yrs working on it. Its not a match if they cant be good to you. That knowledge has kept me from becomming a man basher, actually. Its not his fault if he's not what you want, and its not yours if youre not what he wants. Very well put, works for men or women. Time wasted on these type of relationships is not worth it. You can never get that time back...once it's gone, it's gone. |
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Haven't read it and don't plan to. Personally, I prefer a proper chat to texting but I just hate texting and a lot of people think that it's great. I try to look and smell nice on a date but there's no acounting for taste and I think that the ripped jeans look is coming back. I've had women saying that they don't mind if I haven't shaved because the stubble is sexy and at the moment I'm just letting my hair grow. That's got nothing to do with being into a woman or not. I just look the way that I do and if they don't like it, then tough luck. Tawt, I think you can look how ever you feel comfortable, but it is safe to say, that if you aren't totally into this woman... some things you're not gonna give extra attention to... like,hmmm clean sneakers! Hey, they are my dog walking shoes. I disagree with you anyway. It really depends on the woman. I don't judge like that if she shows up in jeans and baseball cap. She sounds like my kind of girl. |
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i have a different view... she's not that into me... why go though all of that crap when i already know this? how long do we beat our heads against the wall before we give up and go somewhere else? (there are lots of wall to beat our head against). if your just sitting there waiting for him to call or say the right things, maybe this guy is sitting there waiting for the same thing? if shes not into you, shes just not into you... how much time should we waste on it? BUT here's the kicker Moe... I think some women , I have to include myself here, will ignore signs that this guy is NOT into her. ( let me clarify, I USE TO) Men, generally speaking, do not ignore the the " signs". If a woman never wants to speak on the phone... shows to a date with sweats and a baseball cap, you know straight off... " this girl is not into me" ( I have done this before) Teebee I have fallen privy to the same, made plenty of excuses, waited for the texts or calls and came to the realization that I had to have a standard that would make me happy and work up from there, so as to eliminate the feelings of disappointment which perhaps I had brought upon myself due to expectations that 'he' might not have been aware of - I read the book, but might just watch the movie now - good refresher/reminder 
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I'm not very reliant on books. If a guy i'm attracted to, isn't attracted back, then I move on. I can't make one love me.
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I'm not very reliant on books. If a guy i'm attracted to, isn't attracted back, then I move on. I can't make one love me. This 
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Edited by
NorCalSwe
on
Mon 03/31/14 09:08 PM
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i have a different view... she's not that into me... why go though all of that crap when i already know this? how long do we beat our heads against the wall before we give up and go somewhere else? (there are lots of wall to beat our head against). if your just sitting there waiting for him to call or say the right things, maybe this guy is sitting there waiting for the same thing? if shes not into you, shes just not into you... how much time should we waste on it? BUT here's the kicker Moe... I think some women , I have to include myself here, will ignore signs that this guy is NOT into her. ( let me clarify, I USE TO) Men, generally speaking, do not ignore the the " signs". If a woman never wants to speak on the phone... shows to a date with sweats and a baseball cap, you know straight off... " this girl is not into me" ( I have done this before) yea, well... if shes giving the effort to show up, then there is a chance... when she says no, or doesn't show up, then it's time to think about others... I agree with Moe, now I think you're giving us guys too much credit. 1. Doesn't want to speak on phone..........doesn't mean a thing 2. She showed up.........she wants me 3. She's in sweats......Excellent!!! Doesn't expect to go somewhere expensive Not only is this girl into me, she's perfect!  When is a guy sure a girl is not into him.....The fifth time she says 'I'm not into you'. A restraining order just means she's playing hard to get. |
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Well, I've had women doing these things and even saying that they didn't want to be with me but they were the ones that kept coming back for more. Someone can be "into" you but for various reasons they hold back, or won't commit. We don't all want or expect the same things from a partner and it just seems to me that what you really mean is that it doesn't seem like he's into you because he's not doing what you expect from a partner.
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i agree with u, i have tried before to bring out the best out of someone but it was like filling a basket with water.. Knowing if someone is what u really want is very important.. Hmmm!
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I went to the theater with a bunch of my girlfriends and watched the movie...i hate that damn movie! Made me realize how pathetic and gullible I can be. Oh well...life is about learning.
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most of them fail to realise that u are doing all those stuff for them. Even when u try to impress the, they re just been carried away by some else u can guess. lolz
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''when she says
no, or doesn't show up, then it's time to think about others...'' moe, i agree with u. |
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I can be totally into someone and not be sure about them. I might not enjoy the phone calls but really enjoy her company. I could just be a scruffy get that never cleans his shoes. Honestly, I think that this theory is BS. Just sounds like a load of paranoia and control freakery.
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I seen the movie. Iits like think like a man & act like a lady.
I know when guys arent into me. They show all the signs. They ask questions then body language kicks in. They want sex & thats it wit me. I hate it. It got so bad that I intentionally hurt guys after havingg by kicking them out quickly after or busting them out when they gave me an std n front of women & their chick.I loved the body language because they looked stuck. Now 10 yrs later, nobody is into me. I camt get one to date me or even sex me at all. Im not upset. Im disappointed in the thirsty ones who chase me & leave to worse than me. Its cool. they can have my infected seconds. But real men never showed up yet. So they got all my boys. Im clean, content & drama free now |
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