Great what is your experience with

bc there hiding in the trash can ?

I know i'm a bit late with this answer, but i wasn't really checking...

I really don't know how and why you came to such meaning of my post. I simply answered the op's initial question "what is number one reason for people getting dumped". Of course, it's my opinion, but i tried to name rather general reasons from both positions (being dumped or doing the dumping, since the op. didn't say what she meant). I certainly didn't have in mind that a realtionship would work if one would change for the other or if one would try to change the other -- this is exactly what doesn't work, ever! But it often happens, even if very subtly and unconsciously (and sometimes more consciously, of course) often from the fear of loosing the other or from being controlling, or having high demands or some other reasons). Sometimes nothing can be done, and it's best to split (dump?) in such cases, but where there is true love and readines to work on it, it must be communicated. But even the communication can work out only if one or both of them stop lying (=not telling and living all the truth) to themselves and to each other, are in full contact with reality and are radically truthful (not trying to avoid the negative aspects of the relationship nor the pain brought about by the truth). In my belief there is no relationship without such conflict, because no matter how two people match they will always be two worlds. If it was trully Love that brought them together (not just attraction or some other interest), if they are ready to be honest, open and communicative, and if they know that relationships are essentially about GROWING (and growing is "changing", it is growing out of fears, ego, possessivness etc...and that's what i meant by "adjusting" and "transcending"!)than i honestly think they can make it. There are really many IF's and that's why relationships are so difficult...

Anyway, that's what i really ment in my innitial post, and i'm sorry if i cannot say things in simpler words...

To the op.: I seriously doubt that you get dumped just because of the looks, although it may be true that you attract such men if you have this strong belief that "looks is everything", as you say. Most women (at least those who seek a bit more than just a skin-deep relationship) would be glad (in the hindsight if not sooner) to have got rid of such a looser....

Testify! I lived it. She was SOOOO disappointed that saying "I do" didn't turn me into whoever she was expecting me to become. And, boy did she make her disappointment known!

But, I think the general answer is unrealistic expectations. There are all kinds of reasons for it, but that's what it all boils down to. One or both people expect something that isn't going to happen (like the man changing) or doesn't exist (like the fantasy vision of the other person that many of us form in our minds).

For me, I think most people don't put their all in relationship in order to make it work. They don't listen enough, laugh enough, communicate enough. So at the end, it seems they really don't know each other.

Think nr 1 is what Scoobert & Mist said:
- Not getting along (which you often don't find out till you land from cloud 9)
- Feelings and emotional connection lost

The first automatically leads to the second. The reasons why the connection is lost, can vary. You can write a tome on that.

I think that would fall in the category of tryna change someone into something that they are not.....agreed....good to avoid those ;)

right there is nearly always a reason behind the reason...taking someone for granted, or feeling like one is being taken for granted, trying to change them, or feeling someone is tryna change u....to me (IMHO) those are the "reasons behind the reason" for most of this :)

In my case I think it is my "no sex before marriage" rule