I am a single father of 2 boys ages 12 and 13, I can see that there is like a double standard on here. Its ok for single moms to be looking for a single dad with no kids If you have kids like my situation you might as well forget it If I didn't have my kids would that change things? I try not to write anybody that doesn't have kids just bc I wouldn't think somebody that doesn't have kids would be interested in somebody with kids. Kind of a respect thing. You think to yourself I dont want to date a guy with kids but you are wanting the same thing somebody to date you when you have kids. So my question is why is it so different for me and not woman? IF i didnt have my kids I would be a LOSER or a dead beat.

Myself I was a single mom and did not ever find that as a issue..

But........now that my kids are grown and have kids I have no desire to date guys that have kids under 18 and living with them full time...

Has nothing to do with them having kids just that I have my freedom and looking for someone on the same level.. that has kids that are grown...

If your running into that problem with women that have kids living at home sounds like there is another reason they don't want to date. I know the ones that I know that still have young kids at home. They have no issues with dating men that are raising their kids..

Single women do want kids sometimes, it's wrong to assume all of them don't. Some don't want kids and some do.

I think you're limiting yourself by excluding single women out in your assumptions.

I agree with both TxsGal - people I know with grown up kids don't enjoy having to bring up another set of kids as well, and therefore prefer to look at a future relationship with a parent of the same aged kids etc.....and MariahsF: there are a number of single women out there who may not be able to have kids/or don't want their own biological offspring, but that have no problem with you having kids.

@themysterious1: Personally, I would love to find a single dad near me - who has kids around my daughter's age - because, I assume (it is a risk but I do believe it to be true) that he would understand the delicate balance of being a bread-winner and full-time parent, the fact that teen moods and time-constraints are a daily juggle, that preparing healthy, balanced meals is not always easy and creative, that certain hours of the week need to be spent actively - outside if possible; that being at your best isn't always possible, that patience is more than a virtue, that ........my list is endless.

I do not think it is a question of double standards - just one that needs time and patience for you to sift through the ones you don't want and to find mutual compatibility. Good luck and welcome to M2

Back then, I had a relationship with a couple of single fathers. I actually favored them over other men.

What you have to learn is that not everyone prefer the same things. Good luck! :)

I agree I dont even message the ladies that have already raised their kids bc to be honest once mine are grown I want to have fun also. Its sorta like my time. I will take your advice and not limit myself to just woman with kids. I will look to see if the single ladies would like to have kids. I was just trying to be nice by not messaging them. I do think that it is easier for a woman than man because so many more man are only out for one thing so they dont care if the woman has kids or not.

Hi mysterious,
Can't speak for all the women. Can only speak from my own perspective.
I don't think you being a single parent makes you any more or any less a good option for a relationship. I have a friend who is a single dad with a one and a half year old. When his ex wife ditched him and their baby, he thought nobody would ever want him. Yet he and the girlfriend are in a happy relationship for going on 7 months.
As for me, personally, within the past year, a friend wanted to hook me up with her brother. At the time he was living here and his daughters were living 9 hours away. He thought because I don't have kids I wouldn't want his girls. We talked and he understood why I don't have kids, but that I do have a lot of love to give.
He also saw my interaction with my niece and nephews and with his nieces as well. It helped him see that I have a genuine fondness for kids as that is nothing that can be faked.

It turned out that things happened with his ex and one of his daughters came to live over here. He thought I would run. What we did is make adjustments to fully include his seven year old daughter with us. Share homework time. Things like that.
It didn't work out because he had to move back to the town nine hours away because his other daughter needed him too.
So it's not impossible for someone to like you and your children.
There are some conversations you and she will need to have and you will need to consider that the space you give her in your life should probably include parenting if you want her as equal partner.
Wish you all the best.

'I wouldnt think somebody that doesnt have kids would be interested in somebody with kids.'


Your assumption hinders you...

We should not worry about it, I'm sure all of us have someone there for us, we just have to wait and try to look for them... Patience patience....

I think I was just being more respectful to the ladies that don't have kids by not writing them. I have wrote a few that don't so we shall see.

i think caring person to want every one,
i m finding a caring friend.

I myself received a lot of viewings..
over the past several months!
and I'm pretty sure, that most of them did not message me ,because I have kids.. even know I make it clear !..that I'm not looking for someone to marry,,.. not looking for a replacement mother...
but I do not blame someone.
our fault them for not wanting to step into a instant family..
heck I would sooner date a single woman with no children.. then a lady with children.. but to be honest it's not the first thing I notice.. I think it depends on the age of the children...
. mine are old enough.. at the age that allows me to go on dates...
. I think I look for a ladies personality first. I try to keep an open mind..
but at the sametime.. them having children does factor into it. are not.
.. the universe is very mysterious..
. The Brady Bunch.. great now I have that song stuck in my head...lmao

..

In response to this and then some things in general.

No 1,
I've read your profile and it gives a pretty good glimpse of who you are. I think ladies not messaging you doesn't have to do with you having kids, but with the not looking for marriage part. I think maybe some people don't read further to where you are open to possibilities.
Furthermore, I think many ladies have a little crush on you when they get to know you on the forums.



As a person who has at least made the effort with two single dads, I would have to ask how much of your life are you willing to share? This is a question for any single parent. I'm not a parent but willing to be in a relationship with someone who is. Yet, I believe in being equal partners in the relationship. One of the single dads I tried with was my first love who became interested again twenty years later. We went out a few times, looked like something good was developing so I asked him where I would fit in with his family and his daughter. He said his daughter is his business and why can't we just leave things as they are. If I don't have a full place in someone's life, then maybe I'm not the right person for them.
So it's a question of how full a relationship do you want?
Wishing luck to all the single hearts out there, single parents or just single.

That just doesnt go for the single dads it goes for the single woman as well how much time do they have to spare? It shouldnt give them the right to judge you bc you are a single dad. I read all these ladies profiles on here on how they are sick of head games and guys only out for one thing but they pass up guys that they dont even get to know or ask where they would fit or how much time does somebody have to set a side for a relationship. They go as far as reading you are a single dad and thats as far as the read on to the next guy. I just think that if guys would stop giving the single moms all the time just bc they want to get laid then dump them they would see how hard it really is.Im not asking for special treatment or anything like that I just find it funny how the women act after seeing you are a single dad. Thats what places like this is for is to get to know people and go from there.

Never lose hope. Check your inbox

....Awwww.. ..
.. so these ladies you speak of..!!..
do you know their names... . could you at least point them out for me.....
.

You're a smart and clever man. I know you can figure it out.
My lips are sealed, well unless any takers visit my kissing booth


In all seriousness, being a single dad is not something that all women are put off by. And you have many positive qualities that would make a lady feel like she won the lottery if she made a good match with you.

Its not easy for a single parent of either gender but there are tons of women who either don't mind or even prefer dads. I'm going to be honest. One of your biggest problems is your profile pic. I don't care about looks but I still judge by picture. Example: guy wearing 5 x too big clothes. With beer in one hand and throwing a gang sign with the other would get an auto reject. My point is you look soooo grumpy an no fun so I would pass you by and I'm sure I'm not the only one. Plus I'll pass you a tip I was given. Don't put so much of your kids on your profile. Just state a quick mention and save the details till later. Concentrate on you first.

I was a single parent with two diff dads to my first two and neither of them giving a damn. It was a lonely experience but I met my hubby and he took us all in and he didn't have children. I don't think you should see your children as negatives x

It is all about attitude and finding a good match. Not about being a single dad. If you are rejected by someone move on, quitters never win.