Topic: talking about ex's
serendipity1964's photo
Sat 11/01/14 04:10 AM
Since being on here I found it quite amazing the amount of people who just want to talk about their ex's, is it me or do other people find this too. I find it very off putting and believe that these people aren't really ready to date let alone have a new relationship.

davidben1's photo
Sat 11/01/14 04:30 AM
damn wise insight.

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Sat 11/01/14 04:48 AM
Yes, agree. But also with what KLC said, sometimes it comes up in reference to something, preferably shouldn't be on a first date though ..
If someone keeps bad-mouthing or talking about his ex, alarm bells start to go off.
I think some never get over a divorce .. there are ppl who still knock their ex even though they split up over 15 years ago.

no photo
Sat 11/01/14 04:55 AM
I prefer not to talk about ex's....

TawtStrat's photo
Sat 11/01/14 07:03 AM
Edited by TawtStrat on Sat 11/01/14 07:06 AM
Well, sure I've talked about them on here for my own reasons. Why would I care what people on the internet think about me doing that?

When it comes to talking about them with a new lady in my life though she will most likely want to know a bit about my sexual history and what sort of boyfriend that I am. The young lady that I met recently asks me questions about them and wants to know if I've seen them recently etc.

Also, you can get laid sometimes if you talk about your sexual experiences and what sort of a lover you are.

Jinshim_GW's photo
Sat 11/01/14 09:46 AM
I've never disliked something that belonged to one my exes!rofl
Sorry, just the smartass in me.:laughing:

skipper89's photo
Sat 11/01/14 12:01 PM
A lot of people talk about their exes before often people will ask how long have you been single? or, bad break up?.... I think 50% of people I have talked to has asked me and then asked me questions about my ex.... I never bring up my ex in a conversation nor do I ask about an ex of the person im talking to...

If someone brings up their ex without the person questioning them about their ex.. its a sign they are not over them or want to vent because they are pissed off about not seeing the signs of the cause of the break up, im sure theres a lot of reasons why someone talks about their exes...

Talking about an exe can be unhealthy but also healthy for a person... it might make you discover how they deal with certain emotions... I don't know I don't think its wrong but theres a time and place sorta thing for when u can talk about your exes to someone!

no photo
Sat 11/01/14 12:50 PM
Since being on here I found it quite amazing the amount of people who just want to talk about their ex's, is it me or do other people find this too.

My experience with this is twofold.

1. People talk about their ex's because their ex was a significant part of their social life up to that point. Put them in a new social situation, they are going to go back to that setting, with their ex on their mind, noticing what is different and causing them stress, because all of their emotions are associated with the ex.

Kind of like long term married divorced people. Married at 18, divorced at 40 they start over acting like they are 18 again.

2. People talk about their ex's because it's perceived to be relevant to the conversation. In the beginning of any relationship communication is pretty bad. The only way it improves is by spending time together, face to face, and learning about the other person by something OTHER than what comes out of their mouths (or fingers) which ultimately means nothing.

And in many cases one person starts picking apart the bad communication looking for things to reject the other person for.
Things like "they talk too much about their ex;" even though they were only answering questions or situations in a way that they thought were relevant, otherwise wouldn't have brought up their ex at all.

For example, if someone is on a date and asks a stupid question like "so what (kind of relationship) are you looking for?" then expect some discussion on past relationships as a means to give context of what they are talking about.

I find it very off putting and believe that these people aren't really ready to date let alone have a new relationship.

I find the only two important questions in dating (online or off) are:
1. Am I dating?
2. Do I want to continue dating this person?

If the answer is "no" to either of those questions, then I keep looking for someone where the answer is "yes."

Doesn't matter why. No reason to question reason for being "put off."

Simply because 99.999% of the time what someone "thinks" is "off putting" is simply looking for a reason to justify a decision they've already made to not date another person; wanting to find a reason that precludes further introspection that will put all responsibility on the other person.

And human nature is to support a decision made, come hell or high water. It's why people caught in a lie tend to keep going despite contrary evidence.

Awatersign's photo
Sat 11/01/14 01:32 PM

Since being on here I found it quite amazing the amount of people who just want to talk about their ex's, is it me or do other people find this too. I find it very off putting and believe that these people aren't really ready to date let alone have a new relationship.
On to the the next one!shades

Goofball73's photo
Sat 11/01/14 02:07 PM

I prefer not to talk about ex's....


I agree with this. But I also add that if I do mention my ex then my gal has an open invite to biatch slap me. laugh

navygirl's photo
Sat 11/01/14 07:00 PM
I in general don't take much about my ex-boyfriends as its really no one's business but mine. However; if I do decide to talk about them; very little will be said. Biggest problem I have is that except for one guy; is that I am still friends with all my ex-boyfriends.

no photo
Sun 11/02/14 02:47 AM
So... for anyone on this site that doesn't know, I have a girlfriend.

She's cool with me posting here and she hates poetry.

We talk about or ex's a bit actually, to ensure that we don't end up ex's as well.

I'm beginning to think I'm part of the minority of this site that is currently involved in a relationship.

But... I'm technically a Millenial, so disregard what you don't believe.

no photo
Sun 11/02/14 05:53 AM

Since being on here I found it quite amazing the amount of people who just want to talk about their ex's, is it me or do other people find this too. I find it very off putting and believe that these people aren't really ready to date let alone have a new relationship.


What ex's?....

davidben1's photo
Mon 11/03/14 12:08 AM
OMG!

You guys still talking about ex's over here!