Topic: What do you actively do to find the one?
TMommy's photo
Wed 07/29/15 04:36 AM
uh huh...so go hang out where it's a male populated area in hopes one of em might wanna date ya?


let's see now..I could take my car in for repairs again but last time that cost me 700 bucks


or I could go hang out at the sporting goods store and watch the guys buying fishing supplies...ask if anything is biting

go to ballgame see if I get a home run?



go do activities guys like...ewwww then it give them the wrong impression tha I might actually like that stuff noway bigsmile

NorCalSwe's photo
Wed 07/29/15 04:46 AM

uh huh...so go hang out where it's a male populated area in hopes one of em might wanna date ya?


let's see now..I could take my car in for repairs again but last time that cost me 700 bucks


or I could go hang out at the sporting goods store and watch the guys buying fishing supplies...ask if anything is biting

go to ballgame see if I get a home run?



go do activities guys like...ewwww then it give them the wrong impression tha I might actually like that stuff noway bigsmile


Darl'in, I think all you'd have to do is go outside and whistle and you'd have to beat'em off with a stick.

Finding men is not usually a woman's problem, finding one who wants more than a downstairs handshake is the problem.

no photo
Wed 07/29/15 04:49 AM


uh huh...so go hang out where it's a male populated area in hopes one of em might wanna date ya?


let's see now..I could take my car in for repairs again but last time that cost me 700 bucks


or I could go hang out at the sporting goods store and watch the guys buying fishing supplies...ask if anything is biting

go to ballgame see if I get a home run?



go do activities guys like...ewwww then it give them the wrong impression tha I might actually like that stuff noway bigsmile


Darl'in, I think all you'd have to do is go outside and whistle and you'd have to beat'em off with a stick.

Finding men is not usually a woman's problem, finding one who wants more than a downstairs handshake is the problem.


ha ha, true. well said :thumbsup: :laughing:

TMommy's photo
Wed 07/29/15 04:59 AM
downstairs handshake

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Wed 07/29/15 06:53 AM


uh huh...so go hang out where it's a male populated area in hopes one of em might wanna date ya?


let's see now..I could take my car in for repairs again but last time that cost me 700 bucks


or I could go hang out at the sporting goods store and watch the guys buying fishing supplies...ask if anything is biting

go to ballgame see if I get a home run?



go do activities guys like...ewwww then it give them the wrong impression tha I might actually like that stuff noway bigsmile


Darl'in, I think all you'd have to do is go outside and whistle and you'd have to beat'em off with a stick.

Finding men is not usually a woman's problem, finding one who wants more than a downstairs handshake is the problem.

:laughing: :laughing:
Gotta remember that downstairs handshake phrase, lol

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Wed 07/29/15 07:00 AM
Edited by SparklingCrystal 💖💎 on Wed 07/29/15 07:00 AM

Even the best fishermen do not always catch fish in the first place they try... or the second, or the third. Nor do they always eat the first fish they catch! Sometimes they catch many fish of the type they do not want so they have to change fishing holes or bait ... or tackle ... or the time of day.

I've seen a lot of people make the same mistakes over and over and wonder why they haven't found success. They are trying hard but not trying "smart".

Firstly, take some compatibility tests to see what type of person you "should" be able to live with successfully. Many people think their ideal is practical but is instead a fantasy.

Secondly, change your habits. Find the types of activities that compatible single men do and then join a club, buy a club, or lurk outside a club or activity where your potential mate might be. Don't be too shy. Get to know folks who know folks and ask around. Find a target! Go in for the kill but make it his idea!

Lastly, ... don't smell like fish!

That actually is good advice.
Stupid thing is, I know all this, but after a certain amount of time you just get kinda numbed by it all.
And I AM shy when it comes to men and flirting etc., I blush like a schoolgirl, and I know men can like that, but I bleeping hate it, lol.

And lack of money to do things is a problem, one that also made me numb and reluctant to go out a lot. So that could be a start, coming up with things or going places to go that don't automatically cost a fortune. And when you got a small benefit, $20 is a fortune. I cannot afford to spend that each week or every other week even.

So it's becomes very easy to find all kinds of excuses, but in the end that won't get me anywhere either...
I spose I will have to go for walks on the beach (sigh, lol) and stuff like that. Have the occasional cappuccino and so on.

And indeed think about where compatible single men would hang out. That is a bloody difficult one. The most difficult one to be honest. I seriously haven't a clue ...
.
.

no photo
Wed 07/29/15 07:00 AM


uh huh...so go hang out where it's a male populated area in hopes one of em might wanna date ya?


let's see now..I could take my car in for repairs again but last time that cost me 700 bucks


or I could go hang out at the sporting goods store and watch the guys buying fishing supplies...ask if anything is biting

go to ballgame see if I get a home run?



go do activities guys like...ewwww then it give them the wrong impression tha I might actually like that stuff noway bigsmile


Darl'in, I think all you'd have to do is go outside and whistle and you'd have to beat'em off with a stick.

Finding men is not usually a woman's problem, finding one who wants more than a downstairs handshake is the problem.


I want a man who will give me a downstairs make out. :angel:

no photo
Wed 07/29/15 07:26 AM

I have never done anything to..search for a man.
They are like buses, another will be along in a minute.
That is just my nature.

I do think when one removes that focus, things seem to
fall into line.
Maybe because, when inactive, the pressure is off.

Maybe you have even told yourself to back off a bit.
Then, it takes a REALLY special individual to snap
you out of it. And you want to maybe.

So I have no advice on how to notch it up.
And it does sound like you have a dearth of men where you are.

I think you are going to have to widen that circle :-)


^This.

jacktrades's photo
Wed 07/29/15 07:39 AM
Edited by jacktrades on Wed 07/29/15 07:40 AM
I understand where your at Crystal because I am in the same place. I live in a tourist area so people are really only here 1 week. I have been on a few dates this summer but nothing substantial.I usually focus on my hobbies and work another job during the summer season. I agree with the others,I usually find someone when I am not looking. It does get trying but it is nothing you are doing your smart and lovely woman its just that's how things go sometime.flowerforyou

jacktrades's photo
Wed 07/29/15 07:39 AM
Edited by jacktrades on Wed 07/29/15 07:41 AM
oops

metalwing's photo
Wed 07/29/15 08:32 AM


Even the best fishermen do not always catch fish in the first place they try... or the second, or the third. Nor do they always eat the first fish they catch! Sometimes they catch many fish of the type they do not want so they have to change fishing holes or bait ... or tackle ... or the time of day.

I've seen a lot of people make the same mistakes over and over and wonder why they haven't found success. They are trying hard but not trying "smart".

Firstly, take some compatibility tests to see what type of person you "should" be able to live with successfully. Many people think their ideal is practical but is instead a fantasy.

Secondly, change your habits. Find the types of activities that compatible single men do and then join a club, buy a club, or lurk outside a club or activity where your potential mate might be. Don't be too shy. Get to know folks who know folks and ask around. Find a target! Go in for the kill but make it his idea!

Lastly, ... don't smell like fish!

That actually is good advice.
Stupid thing is, I know all this, but after a certain amount of time you just get kinda numbed by it all.
And I AM shy when it comes to men and flirting etc., I blush like a schoolgirl, and I know men can like that, but I bleeping hate it, lol.

And lack of money to do things is a problem, one that also made me numb and reluctant to go out a lot. So that could be a start, coming up with things or going places to go that don't automatically cost a fortune. And when you got a small benefit, $20 is a fortune. I cannot afford to spend that each week or every other week even.

So it's becomes very easy to find all kinds of excuses, but in the end that won't get me anywhere either...
I spose I will have to go for walks on the beach (sigh, lol) and stuff like that. Have the occasional cappuccino and so on.

And indeed think about where compatible single men would hang out. That is a bloody difficult one. The most difficult one to be honest. I seriously haven't a clue ...
.
.


Every journey begins with the first step. If you don't know what type of man you need (as opposed to "want") find some compatibility tests on the net and post the results here what you found. We can then give advice (as men) as to where such men may be located on a budget! You may learn some things about yourself in the process!

mysticalview21's photo
Wed 07/29/15 12:17 PM
op... not much lol they last time I said something to someone that was barbequing and having a party... he said come along ... then found he just was really a nice guy and had a wife lol so that did not get me to far ... but then I thought well crap there might have been some single men there ... but a lost thought ... lol

mysticalview21's photo
Wed 07/29/15 12:18 PM

uh huh...so go hang out where it's a male populated area in hopes one of em might wanna date ya?


let's see now..I could take my car in for repairs again but last time that cost me 700 bucks


or I could go hang out at the sporting goods store and watch the guys buying fishing supplies...ask if anything is biting

go to ballgame see if I get a home run?



go do activities guys like...ewwww then it give them the wrong impression tha I might actually like that stuff noway bigsmile


rofl rofl rofl

no photo
Wed 07/29/15 12:21 PM
I don't really actively look. I just carry on doing whatever I do with my time. All things end up where they should be, so I'm just biding my time. Not trying to take much notice of it. I'll let it happen in it's own time.

Goofball73's photo
Wed 07/29/15 07:11 PM

I realized last night my last date (meet and greet) was 9 months ago. Yes, that's right, 9 months. I was so fed up with it after that one, that I decided to sod it for a while. And I still feel like sodding it for another while, like maybe a decade, lol.
That does mean that it becomes easier, and more and more pleasant, to just do my own thing, meaning it will become more and more difficult to fit a partner into my life.

I like people, but I also like being by myself. I can easily spend days without seeing other people, apart from going to the supermarket a few times a week. I don't need to be out and around other ppl much in order to be happy.
But if I continue that way, I'm doomed ... and I DO want to find a partner. I really do not want to stay on my own for the rest of my life.

And I seriously dislike meet and greets. Spending all that time talking to someone online before you do a meet and greet. I usually feel I got better things to do with my time. Isn't that something...
To me dating is fun once I've met someone and there is a click. But all these meets & greets ... waste of time.

So I've come to kind of avoid chatting with other singles on Dutch sites, cos most what you get is like the "Hello dear" stuff you get via PM here. Mostly mind-numbing chit.

All this has me wondering what other people actively do to meet a potential partner.
So what do you really do?
And how much time do you spend on it? (I used to spend a lot of time on it, but learnt that more time does not automatically render more dates. It does eat up more of my time.)


I just want to date a woman who says "Sod it". Sounds so sexy. :laughing:

NorCalSwe's photo
Thu 07/30/15 12:09 AM
Address acquired...check
Night vision goggles...check
Trunk safety lock disabled...check
Rope...check
Duct tape...check
Tranquilizer...check

Don't worry my lovely I'm come'in for ya.

It's hunt'in time to actively look for my significant other.

no photo
Thu 07/30/15 12:34 AM
^^^ scared Run, TMommy, Run!!! scared

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Fri 07/31/15 02:07 AM


I realized last night my last date (meet and greet) was 9 months ago. Yes, that's right, 9 months. I was so fed up with it after that one, that I decided to sod it for a while. And I still feel like sodding it for another while, like maybe a decade, lol.
That does mean that it becomes easier, and more and more pleasant, to just do my own thing, meaning it will become more and more difficult to fit a partner into my life.

I like people, but I also like being by myself. I can easily spend days without seeing other people, apart from going to the supermarket a few times a week. I don't need to be out and around other ppl much in order to be happy.
But if I continue that way, I'm doomed ... and I DO want to find a partner. I really do not want to stay on my own for the rest of my life.

And I seriously dislike meet and greets. Spending all that time talking to someone online before you do a meet and greet. I usually feel I got better things to do with my time. Isn't that something...
To me dating is fun once I've met someone and there is a click. But all these meets & greets ... waste of time.

So I've come to kind of avoid chatting with other singles on Dutch sites, cos most what you get is like the "Hello dear" stuff you get via PM here. Mostly mind-numbing chit.

All this has me wondering what other people actively do to meet a potential partner.
So what do you really do?
And how much time do you spend on it? (I used to spend a lot of time on it, but learnt that more time does not automatically render more dates. It does eat up more of my time.)


I just want to date a woman who says "Sod it". Sounds so sexy. :laughing:

Lol, typical fella you haha. But a date it is. Pick me up at 8 please, the dark red door shades


TMommy's photo
Fri 07/31/15 06:48 AM

^^^ scared Run, TMommy, Run!!! scared
hahahaha no worries I got rope and duct tape of my own bigsmile

adamlanier12's photo
Fri 07/31/15 08:00 AM
hello it cool to be chatting online