It's been a couple of weeks now...I'm still pining over him. I know that I shouldn't...he did not want my affection...he did not want me. I cannot help how I feel. I have not felt such a depth of pain, in a very long time. I can still taste his sweet kiss, and feel him. I'm trying desperately to occupy myself with other diversions(i.e., my new job, the move to my new home, just being a mom). He's everywhere though. Shoot...he's even here! I need a wakeup call...a slap in the face...
something...anything to help me move on and overcome the pain. I don't have a support system of strong sisters...I'm working on that. I requested the reply of wise women because I don't think that I could handle any glib responces. I cannot understand, how some others find it so easy, to make light of someone else's pain. I do appreciate humor...when it's constructive. I don't know. I just hurt.

Hello there....we have all felt the pain of a erlationship gone wrong....please know that you do have a support system here....The most wonderful thing about JSH is that we are like a family and are here for each other...

You will make it thru this and I hope if he is on here, he can be polite enough to give you space. Join in the forums and have some fun. We can be part of the diversions for you.

Good luck in all you do!!

First, I'm not "wise" but, I do care that you are in pain..It's very hard when we wish for someone or something that we can't have..been there done that..I just know it sounds like your doing the right thing in staying buried in work,moving and doing what you gotta do. so keep up the good work and let time do it's job..*hugs*

Thank you "eileena9"

Thank you "ouchie".

Agreed with the posts above. Diversion, distraction, determined ... you will beat it.

I do think though that you need that grieving process. It feels like the same void as when someone dies. Be sure you allowed yourself that process. The anger, sadness, shock, emptiness, the tears yada yada.

IF you don't you will never heal properly.

you found some friends here girl. i just broke up with my love in september. now HE decides he wants me back. but twitch here, started dating someone else and he is pissed (because now he can't have what he wants -- he is a bit of a control freak). i know it hurts; it still hurts me everytime i see him (which has been quite frequent). but, i happen to love myself very much and i deserve alot more than he gave me. so hon go through the pain, you are a beautiful attractive woman and you deserve so much more. hang in there girl and if you need to talk you can e-mail me.

You need a (((big hug))) and some chocolate...
Sorry for your pain.
Talking it out does help...

pain make us who we are--grow from the experience.
it is a loss so work through those steps first and over come
a better person!!
if you asked me if i would change anything in my past i would have to say no---

Hey Khamis girl, I feel your pain. I'm going thru some stuff myself. We gotta stay strong and live each day as it comes. Pray for strength. If ya wanna talk some time. I'm here. Maybe we can help each other. There are lots of ppl here who can be your support team. OK?? Hang in there girl

Khamisa

I feel your pain,have been there several times. It will get better as time goes, by, look onward, you will find the one for you

Khamisa, we've been there. Anything I can do to help ease the pain, I will.

Khamisa, just hang in there. It will get better in time.

yes yes yes .. pain DOES make us stronger. And for me, and I am sure twitch and others, it makes us know ourselves better.

I'm not going to air all my laundry but, I just got kinda burnt too and I'm taking it one day at a time and actually found someone on here that I'd been looking at on the other site a few months ago...So, there can be reasons for everything

Thank y'all so much! I'm overwhelmed by your kindness, support, encouragement, and wise words. I'm feeling stronger already. Thank you

"ouchie", I forgot to tell you...you're very wise

First, ALLOW yourself to grieve the loss of this relationship. Don't let anyone tell you to "just suck it up and go on". No one would give you ways to get past the loss of a loved one to death. It is a normal, natural part of the process of healing. Through the pain you will grow. Once you reach the "acceptance" stage you will be able to clearly examine why the relationship failed.

When it comes to love it does seem to be we learn more from our failures than our successes. When the hurt wears away the lessons will be clearer. Maybe it will just be you are lucky that this person is gone so you can meet someone who will appreciate you. Good luck and hugs until you feel better.

Sweet sister, you are grieving, allow youself to do just that. Time is the only factor that lessens the pain and grief. Unfortuneatly time never passes fast enough in situations like this. I and all the others are here for you 24/7.

sister Khamisa, I truly feel your pain. let me share with you what has helped me.
fisrt, allow yourself to feel the pain. it's ok to be hurt.
but then you need to take a good hard look at what this man is...
the good and the bad.
and then, take a real inventory of yourself. what is it in you that you hoped this man could fulfil. what is your lifelong issue?
mine was abandonment. as an adopted person, I couldn't bear the thought of being abandoned, again.
once you have acknowledged your own life issue, work on understanding what God intended for you to learn from this
experience. every stitch of pain we endure is brought to us because there is something we need to learn from it.
think about it less as pain and more as education.
there's something you needed for this man to teach you about yourself.
yeah, it sucks that it had to hurt, but you might not have gotten the same lesson if it didn't hurt.
keep on keepin on, and press through. it will reveal itself to you.
i'm here if you need me. stay strong.
tina