Good conversation is hard to come by. A this point its starting to seem overrated. Am I the only person left that values a mental connection as top priority? Someone to talk to consistently is my want.

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Only when you primarily interact with strangers.


That's rather vague.

To some a "mental connection" is encountering "someone who knows a lot."
To some, "someone who knows a lot more than me."
To others, "someone that presents themselves in an erudite manner."
To some, "someone that isn't dismissive."

To many a "mental connection" is "someone that makes me feel smart."
To others, "someone that constantly validates how smart I am because I am insecure about my looks and don't like compliments about looks because I feel they are lying, but I see myself as smart, so if they compliment me on that, then I know it's true and they're being honest, so I trust them and feel good."

To many a "mental connection" is "someone that can focus on something intellectual, which can be anything from video games to physics, but their attention is focused on something else, thereby they don't really notice me, so if they include me while not really noticing me, then it means they want me for more than just sex and I have value."

To a CRAPTON a "mental connection" means "our communication is extremely compatible immediately, plus our interests are similar."

To an even larger CRAPTON of people a "mental connection" means "they care what I have to say, they go out of their way to drag it out of me, because I'm one of those 'shy until you get to know me' types, so I know they really like me for me when they chase me and want to just talk to me and are willing to put in all the effort to play my game of pulling my conversation teeth out of me."

And to I don't know how many a "mental connection" means "I see these t.v. shows and movies with this model actor or actress wearing glasses and a sweater vest, or they're underprivileged but smart, and they learn confidence and how to stand up for themselves, and overcome adversity, and defeat bullies with their intellect, and they win and are awesome and everyone loves them, and they get lots of attention even if they don't want it showing they're humble and perfect, and I want that! I want that to want me! I really just want a smart archetype from a movie or t.v. show!...But it's not about looks and them being a model looking actor...it's cause they're smart!"


And it should be mentioned, to a lot a "mental connection" means "I don't want it to feel like a date, like I'm dating someone. That makes me feel weird. I want to feel like we're friends that respect and communicate clearly. I don't want to feel awkward. I don't want to sit around talking about my feelings like friends are supposed to.
All that dating and feelings stuff makes me feel, and I don't wanna do that. I wanna think and keep my mind busy so I don't have to deal with the scary stuff. If we keep it cerebral, we avoid the emotional and I just don't have to face it or think about it or address it."

Nope you aren't the only one.I know for me if I can't connect mentally I am not going to connect physically.
Don't get me wrong I like eye candy as well as anyone else but I do insiste on the mental connection.

I need both a mental connection and a physical attraction. I can't have one without the other for a happy balance.

??? How the heck did I do the double? ONly clicked once, lol

I don't really get the OP's statement, it seems to contradict itself?
Good conversation is overrated, then saying it's what you want? Or is "talking consistently" not good conversation, but just chit chatting, mindless babbling?
DOn't mean to be difficult, maybe I'm reading it wrong, but I don't get it.

Plus, good conversation and a mention connection go hand in hand. Can you have one without the other? I can't.

And yes, maybe physique is not the most important part, but it is part of the whole thing. Having a mental connection and good conversations with someone who to you is off-putting physically is not going to work.

Having a mental connection also doesn't mean you have attraction. It can easily be found among friends. If mental connection is all there is, you end up friend-zoning or being friend-zoned

pffft I don't even invest the time in a message if it doesn't look like it at least has the possibility of being an interesting conversation

Okay I totally agree, I think for people like me that physical attraction is considered all ready there. And it doesn't matter how attractive I think a person is if there is no connection mentally with great conversations, meeting of similar thought process's etc.. No thrill of wanting to know more I am done and moving on.. I have to be mentally stimulated beyond the physical that is the way I took her statement.

And I have had good conversations with people that I knew there was never going to be a connection. The conversation was good for the sake of conversation standpoint only..

crystal i read op's first post this way...


good conversation is hard to come by (opening statement)

at this point it is starting to seem over rated ( support for the first part, not a declaration of her feelings)


am i the only person who values... (question to possibly like minded people)

some one who talks... (show it is part of her want list in a relationship)

my answer is a qualified yes it is getting harder to find.(but it does still exist) and no you aren't alone in wanting this. one of my biggest deal breakers is this.if you can't articulate well what you think and feel or wish only idle chit chat about nothing then i will wander off very quickly

Yo, Adrian. *contorts facial features*

do me the honor to know me personally

I agree with you but I go just a little further, I also have one additional caveat, and that is that they are independent thinkers. My biggest pet peeve is when some one takes a stance and can't defend the reason for taking it other than it's a popular stance.

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