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| Topic: A Date ... I'm Scared | |
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Some 2 weeks ago I 'met' a man online, couldn't see each other's pictures yet (that's the system of that dating site), but the conversation was good!
For the first time in yonks, if not ever, a man that seemed to get me without me even saying all that much. It was almost freaky. Good exchange, although usually short, as we mostly exchanged messages whilst the other wasn't online. Then we did chat. He showed interest in me, he was respectful, lots of things in common. Basically a lot of what I'm looking for in a man. Just that he's not the type I'd usually fall for, the outside package I mean. Anyway, both agreeing you can't really tell until you meet, so we set a date. Sounds great, right? Well, I'm CHIT scared! After we set the date, I didn't feel happy at all, I felt deflated, not elated. My solar plexus was in a knot, actually aching. I was upset and confused. Talked to two gal pals and both came up with the exact same thing. Fear because of what happened in the past. Dang right I'm scared! "Stay in the moment! You're just meeting someone, it's not a proposal!" Yeah, I know. But still ... I'm bleeping scared! I knew some stuff would get triggered the moment I'd meet a nice man, regardless of him being the man or not. So much chit I've been through because of my ex, and I worked through most, but some things simply don't get triggered when you're on your own. So I knew at some point things would come up. But knowing and experiencing it, are two totally different things. So here I am, a man that seems to have the qualities I find important, and I'm close to bawling my eyes out ... Somehow thinking "Can someone PLEASE just bump into me in the supermarket and we both fall madly in love and that it? So I don't have to go through this chit?" Someone please save me? LOL. Dang, I hate this chit ... I'm gonna have a moment now to bawl my eyes out |
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Edited by
msharmony
on
Mon 09/14/15 06:42 AM
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 I aint mad at ya,,,,its been 8 years for me and each new year makes it easier to not bother best of luck 
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It's not time to panic. Take a step back and decide exactly what you fear. Start slow and stay slow for awhile. Go have a coffee together (you didn't say what kind of date you planned). Place a limit on the time you will be together. If he is "for real" you can plan a longer date later. Try not to be scared, overly optimistic, or too much of anything! Just examine the goods and go home.
See if what you expected was what you discovered by the light of a new day! 
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you know where it goes all wrong and "chit" ?! just the fact that you are pre-assuming, pre-judging. pre-speculating... I know it might sound crazy but r u even sure he will show up? are you sure when he shows up you will even be able to look in his eyes once to be able to find out if he is the one or not? are you close to be sure that all those triggers are because of him and not you?
My advise is, just Go... on the date night, wear what u feel, say what u think, and look where u want... it's all ok .. and will be , with the date or without , through the date or after.... think of it as just a hang out for free drinks ;) |
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Edited by
ais69
on
Mon 09/14/15 07:10 AM
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I think that ure just thinking too much into it...
Be adventurous!!! Live life! |
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((((CrystalFairy))))
YOU GOT THIS   I can't say anything more than what metalwing posted, except go ahead and bawl, rant, worry but do those things well BEFORE the date to clear your head. GOOD LUCK!! |
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((((CrystalFairy)))) YOU GOT THIS I can't say anything more than what metalwing posted, except go ahead and bawl, rant, worry but do those things well BEFORE the date to clear your head. GOOD LUCK!! Thank you, Mel! And, yes, I'm glad the date is on Thursday, so I got a few more days to work through these feelings. |
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It's not time to panic. Take a step back and decide exactly what you fear. Start slow and stay slow for awhile. Go have a coffee together (you didn't say what kind of date you planned). Place a limit on the time you will be together. If he is "for real" you can plan a longer date later. Try not to be scared, overly optimistic, or too much of anything! Just examine the goods and go home. See if what you expected was what you discovered by the light of a new day! You're totally right, and thank you! And indeed good to not be overly anything. Basically not expect anything, which is my 'policy' when it comes to dating anyways. But yeah, I will have to think about what it is I fear so much, so hopefully come Thursday I will be more calm and collected. Right now I'm all over the place 
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Crystal,I understand what your saying BUT im sure you will be fine.
Most of all, Good luck, and keep us informed. Yay for you.  
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Congrad's
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Well I'm a little hurt! I thought I got you..
 .. and you have not seen him? I don't know I would want a picture before I meet anybody.. I've got duped by good conversations before...They're perfect.. we have great conversations we get each other.. and then I go meet them.. and my eyes start to bleed lol |
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Well I'm a little hurt! I thought I got you.. .. and you have not seen him? I don't know I would want a picture before I meet anybody.. I've got duped by good conversations before...They're perfect.. we have great conversations we get each other.. and then I go meet them.. and my eyes start to bleed lol Eyes start to bleed  |
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Unless your first date is going to be skydiving, relax for Gods sake.
You're not getting married. You're just meeting somebody for a coffee. |
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Edited by
SparklingCrystal ππ
on
Mon 09/14/15 07:50 AM
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Well I'm a little hurt! I thought I got you.. .. and you have not seen him? I don't know I would want a picture before I meet anybody.. I've got duped by good conversations before...They're perfect.. we have great conversations we get each other.. and then I go meet them.. and my eyes start to bleed lol Well... neglect a woman for too long and she'll start looking for greener pastures  You're still my No1, but you know what BeyoncοΏ½ says: If you liked it then you should've put a ring on it! * I SO love that I can just say these things to you  * Oh, and I have seen pictures. Just when you first start chatting, the pictures are still blurred. THe more you talk, the clearer they get. And after some time, you can watch all of each other's pictures... . . |
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Unless your first date is going to be skydiving, relax for Gods sake. You're not getting married. You're just meeting somebody for a coffee. I know ... Maybe we should've gone skydiving, would've given me a good reason to be scared lol. Stupid thing is, I want a man to see me for who and what I am, then when that happens ... it's crazy scary. |
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..Yes and you know you can say anything to me..
.. and as far as the RING GOES I open 12 boxes of cracker jacks and still have not come across a ring.. ..Be patient I can only eat so much cracker jacks..Ok you have not seen a picture of him correct..?
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Edited by
no1phD
on
Mon 09/14/15 07:56 AM
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Ok apparently you snuck in a little extra something something on your last post..Lol what is this dating site you are on?..it sounds like a Harry Potter movie !something out of Hogwarts !the more you talk to each other the clear the picture gets ...woman!! put down the pipe lol stop doing lines of cocaine off Of young boys hips .. lmao
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..Yes and you know you can say anything to me.. .. and as far as the RING GOES I open 12 boxes of cracker jacks and still have not come across a ring.. ..Be patient I can only eat so much cracker jacks..Ok you have not seen a picture of him correct..? Almost had a heart-attack thinking you were gonna say you offered 12 rings a day to 12 women  I was starting to feel left out, but -sigh of relief! - I'm still in the game!! Better be a bloody good ring though! I don't need a diamond per say, but I don't fall for plastic. Oh heck, I'm gonna be greedy: I DO want a diamond  I'm worth it  And yeah, I have seen a few pictures. |
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Ok apparently you snuck in a little extra something something on your last post..Lol what is this dating site you are on?..it sounds like a Harry Potter movie !something out of Hogwarts !the more you talk to each other the clear the picture gets ...woman!! put down the pipe lol stop doing lines of cocaine off Of young boys hips .. lmao Yeah, I sneaked that in, lol. It's a Dutch site.. the idea being that you don't judge by looks but simply start talking. |
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Ohhh... gives a whole new meaning to the word blind date lol.. what's next a dating site where you can see each other but you can't talk to each other...
..I don't know! okay so he's good looking ?and we all know !how hung up you are on a men's height.. so I'm assuming he's taller than you.. so is he good looking? |
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